Keeping calm and relaxed whatever ... Developing the tranquil mind
[Feeling good - contents][Laughing at it all in the future now!][The soap opera][Six step reframing][Dealing with emotion by calming your eyes.][Qualities of effective people]
One of the secrets of life is to keep a tranquil mind. Be at peace, whatever is happening outside.
The most successful negotiators are those who can keep a quiet mind.
The most able problem solvers can keep a peaceful, unruffled, calm mind.
The best communicators can keep a peaceful, unruffled, calm, mind.
The only way to manage a situation in which anger flames and harsh words fly is to keep a quiet peaceful, tranquil mind.
Let others yell, and scream and rant, while you maintain a state of peace, deep relaxation and calm. Calmly thinking in a peaceful way how you can solve this problem, or even simply non-reacting.
Easily said, but how can we do it?
Within whatever confusion, you can remain like the eye of the hurricane, at peace and in control while the whizzing and whirling of the things in front of you have no power to affect you without your agreement.
One of the key techniques which affect the whole of your being is one that concerns the eyes. Although the eyes have long been thought to have magical properties, we have tended to forget this in the modern world.
The eyes affect not only outer vision, but also inner vision. You can tell a person's emotions simply by looking at their eyes. In grief, the eyes look down. In fear they flit and move searching for danger. In anger they fix and pierce the object of anger.
Tense eyes sometimes cause and always escalate mental moods and feelings. By becoming aware of the way your eyes work to affect your emotions, enables you to concentrate on your emotions and control them through your eyes.
Mentally command your eyes to relax. Mentally say, 'Relax!' Yes, that's it. 'Relax!' Make them blank. Blank out all eye tension. Imagine seeing, in your mind's eye, your eyes being blank, deadpan, lifeless, inscrutable and unresponsive - so relaxed they are almost asleep. So wooden they are like a heavy log, without tension and totally unresponsive. How can you react emotionally with those unresponsive, sleepy eyes. No response at all!
Now do you notice how your thoughts and your body follow suit? How you begin to think, 'I'm not interested in this.', 'This doesn't affect me at all.' How your body begins to relax all on its own, and in some strange way, you let go and release whatever it was that held your attention in that unwanted way? Be sure you avoid thinking in this way, because it will happen naturally and automatically, without even trying? Have you noticed this?
When your eyes are in this state they cannot cause or escalate emotions like anger, fear, panic, turbulence, etc. They turn off these unwanted emotions. By starting with the physical eyes, and blanking them out, you find that your thoughts follow automatically and so do your emotions.
Do remember that unwanted emotions can also be pleasant. You can use the same technique. How can, for example, a cream cake be so enticing through these blanked out, deadpan, lifeless, inscrutable eyes? So sleepy, and so uninterested!
Whenever you begin to feel tense, whether this is an unpleasant feeling, or a pleasant feeling of excitement you do not want, then begin by relaxing your eyes
When your eyes are relaxed, your mind will become calm. Sometimes, you might pay attention to your breathing and breath slowly, slowly, in a deep relaxed way. At least to check you aren't holding your breath!
You might also look mentally over your body and when you notice a part which is tense then consciously relax it. You might overlook the way you are sitting and the tension this is causing. Scan your body from head to toe and relax all the parts which are tense. Then concentrate on calming your eyes. In this way you do the opposite of escalation, and bring your whole being into a state of peace and tranquillity.
The most important part of this technique is to relax, blank-out your eyes. It is often enough simply to do this, without the other points!
I don't know why such a simple technique can be so effective, so useful and practical. Yet no one ever made much progress in personal development by simply reading about it, so study this lesson carefully and practice this highly workable technique, so you can blank out unwanted emotion and have a peaceful, tranquil mind.
Copyright © 1998, 1999, 2000 Ken Ward,