"It's hard for me to make up my mind and to be confident about relationships"
I should start by first off thanking you for providing your guidance to so many via the website by answering some very important questions that resonated with me. I am a 31 year old man living in New York. I wanted to send you this email to tell you a little about myself and ask you for your guidance.
I should take a few and give you an idea of my background. I have been working on improving myself for a while now and when I objectively look at it, it seems to me that my life has been pretty good so far, but inside of me, I feel frustrated with lack of passion, lack of self love and most importantly inertia. I am 31. Living in New York. Single. Healthy, 6', 180, handsome. well educated with good friends. While I am tempted to go back into my childhood and past to explain my current situation, I think it is best if I could just get to the things that are challenging.
a) Inertia: I feel like I am stuck. I am in the process of exploring a new career that will really make me get up in the morning with a big smile in my face, something that I would love doing (I did do a career change once before, which I am very proud of but it did not fulfill me) but I do not know how to go about finding what I love. I am falling into the trap of thinking that something related to my previous job (advertising) is the way out... which I know I do not enjoy a lot. I am an excellent networker and have been blessed with the gift of meeting people and building a very good rapport with them. Things that appeal to me are beauty, elegance, innovation, creativity, performances, being in front of people and being known for some type of excellence. I am finding it extremely frustrating that I do not have a sense of direction to manifest my desires. I keep complaining and not doing anything about and something is stopping me.
b) Decision making: I have noticed that it is very hard for me to make up my mind and just do it. I find myself constantly analyzing scenarios that are not really conducive nor productive and several times, I have made decisions that have not resulted in good outcomes. This has put me in a place where I am scared of making them for the fear of what if something goes wrong or what would others think, etc. I do not know how to trust myself.
c) Relationships: Ok, here is one thing I should tell you about. I love women. I am a late bloomer. I have realized that I view women today the same way I viewed them 15 years ago in my high school... full of shyness, fearful of rejection, am I good looking enough? they only like more wealthy/white/black/smarter/better in bed/sexier men than me. I know these are not true and I know that I am actually a very good catch, but when I find a very pretty girl, these thoughts arise and puts me a place of unease, fear of rejection and worry. This is something that is very frustrating... knowing that these thoughts do not help and still falling victim to them.
And the best part is, I have progressed so much from a few years ago when I really was a basket case. I have found yoga and meditation to help me. I have a deep yearning for finding my freedom and more importantly getting the process right. It would be most kind of you if you could please give me some guidance. Thank you again for your time and kind help.
Well, the main issue that is showing up for you, to which all of these other issues you mention are connected, is a lack of love you experienced as a child. Interestingly enough, what is also showing up that will help you gain a better understanding of what's going on for you is some astrological information. Our astrological charts guive us a very clear blueprint of what we came in to do and the challenges we will face along the way. So, I invite you to find a good astrologer and get your chart done and interpreted for you.
Your life force energy is a bit low - when we are feeling alive and vigorous in our physical body, we seem to fall into place on the other levels as well. Regarding this, I invite you to up your physical amperage by running. Start with2 miles a day, and build up gradually, maybe over a period of 2 weeks, to 4 miles a day. Continue running at least 4 miles a day from now on. This will give you that sense of freedom you are looking for and it will, I strongly think, help to clear up these other issues as well.
The antidote to the knot in your stomach is to say the following at least 3 times a day: