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"Please help me understand a dream involving a Medicine woman"

Hello Ayal,

I feel kind of like a nuisance in writing to you again, so I want to apologize ahead of time. In my search for answers, I totally respect your work. I hope you can help me. I truly appreciate you taking the time to assist me. A while back I told you about the visitation of the bird that occurred on the night of December 24, 2002 while I was falling asleep. You informed me that it was a grouse that visited me. Since then, I have familiarized myself with animal totems. I have learned quite a bit. Some of the books I have consulted have been: Animal Medicine Cards by Jamie Sams, and Animal Speak as well. I have an even deeper appreciation now of animals. I also watch for animals that might cross my path in general while hiking, or being in nature. I forgot to mention that I had a dream that evening. I am writing to you because I wonder if you can help me with the dream. After the visitation of the grouse, I dreamt about a woman with long gray hair that had black streaks in it. She seemed older. She might have been native-american. She was singing some strange tune. I gather she could have been a Medicine woman. In the dream, she lived in some kind of hut that had unusual things hanging about. I am wondering what connection she had to the grouse visitation. I am still perplexed by this incident because I have never had any connection to animal totems before. I am still wondering why this occurred. I hope you can help me with your insight. I was doing a lot of kundalini yoga at the time, and I was involved in a 120 day set. I am wondering if this may have contributed to this event as well. I hope I am not expecting too much from you by asking this. I thank you so much!


Hi - Glad to hear from you. Well, first of all, I want you to fully and absolutely delete any programming you have that you are a nuisance and don't have a right to put out into the Universe what you want. How come you think you have to apologize for wanting to connect and gain knowledge and grow? Do you expect to be responded to with criticism and derision and rejection? I find your desire to understand and explore wonderful, and I find the experiences you have very magical. Also - you sent me a donation along with this letter, so you are absolutely ENTITLED to the best I have to give you. And, the truth is, you are ENTITLED to the best life has to give you irregardless of whether you sent a check or not.

It is your birthright to be all that you can be and have all that the Universe is and has to offer you. OK? When you apologize for existing and just for being you - that is saying you have no right to even take up space - that you are a "Nuisance" rather than a bright and shining light that is seeking further brilliance and experiences and wisdom. It tells me that you apologize because you expect to be abused, and so you take a subservient or lesser or submissive position from the get go - expecting the hand of "the master" to whack you, so to speak. This is not being in your power or being who you truly are. I really want you to and hope that you will chose to explore this for yourself and find out where did this belief originate for you - the belief that your very presence, which includes your desire to connect, reach out, grow or acquire knowledge is UNWANTED and bad. OK?

Now, to answer your question about your dream - I don't get that the dream was related to the grouse thing per se - but rather that yes, you went into an altered state where you could access another realm of connecting to spirit. Often intense spiritual work, such as doing the kundalini yoga, or meditation, or sufi dancing, or shamanic journeys, or prayer, etc., can put one into an altered state. That is actually the purpose of all of the religious teachings or exercises - people trying to get to a peak state of consciousness where they have access to abilities and connections to the Spirit realm that are also our birthright. These peak states of consciousness include many things, such as clairvoyance, levitation, being able to communicate with the essence of the planet, or Gaia, with plants and animals - and many many more. When we live from these peak states consistently and permanently, in a stable way, we attain our wholeness. All of it is our natural birthright that got diminished or lost from us due to traumas that we experienced somewhere along the way in our journey - traumas that happened even back to the womb and even as far back, and farther, then conception. It's pretty fascinating.

So, I think you were in a peak state temporarily and contacted a sacred being, maybe even that sacred part of yourself.

Blessings, Ayal

next 408. "Periods of anxiety come and go all through my life"

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