"I eat and eat and am big as a house. What do I do?"
I FEEL BAD ABOUT MYSELF. I JUST HAD MY SECOND KID, SHE'S 4 MOS. MY SON IS 14 MOS AND I AM BIG AS A HOUSE. I JUST EAT AND EAT. I EXERCISE EVERY DAY FOR AN HOUR. I AM A STAY AT HOME MOM. I WEIGH 220 AND I WANT TO BE 135. WHAT DO I DO?
Hi. Your nervous system is stressed out, and you are eating, I think, to try to get some relief and comfort. You seem to be feeling a lot of fear, and eating is often a way to try to avoid feeling the fear. It's time for you to do some self evaluation. What are you feeing fearful about, number one, and number two, how can you get some support to help you deal with the fear?
I get a sense that you need to do some self evaluation: to think about what you need, and then find a way to get those needs met in a way that is good for you and all concerned. What needs do you have that are not getting met, and what would it look like in your life if they were?
Are you confused, angry, disappointed? Are you feeling remorse about something? If so, what? Check out what's going on for YOU, and then figure out a way to change your life so that it works for you in a better way. You can use the following formula to help you get clear on what's going on for you.
Resolving Internal Conflicts: Dealing with inner messages which are filled with judgments.
First you have a thought or judgment about your life or yourself.
Example: I should do something more with my life! All I do is take care of my children, and I feel as if I'm wasting my education.
Restate the message in the following form:
When a, I feel b, because I am needing c. Therefore I would like d.
Example: When (a) I spend as much time at home with the children as I do, I feel (b) depressed and discouraged because (c) I am needing the fulfillment I once had in my profession. Therefore, I would (d) now like to find part-time work in my profession.
Use this to help you see what is going on for you. Write it out.
Resolving Anger: Focusing attention on what we are needing.
If you are angry, anger is the result of life-alienating, violence-provocative thinking. At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled. Use it as a wake-up call to realize that you have a need that is not being fulfilled... and that you are thinking or behaving in a way that is not likely to get that need met. Instead, connect emphatically with your own needs.
"I am angry because I am needing____________"
If you are feeling confused, confusion results from giving your power away to someone else: from being emotionally dependent on someone else instead of trusting yourself and your own ability to know what's right for you.
If you are having trouble making your own decisions, then find a way to work with a competent counselor on that issue.
There are issues of self esteem going on here that would be important for you to explore and heal. Did you feel that when you were growing up, you were not the favorite one? Sounds to me as if you may be feeling a bit useless and trapped. In order to heal this, you must find your own sense of who you are, and your own inner power. One way to start with that is to know what you feel, what your truth is, and to calmly and firmly speak that truth. We are all born to manifest the special and unique glory of God that is within us. Not to do so is to feel unhappy, and useless. Playing small - not being who we truly are - doesn't serve anyone, least of all yourself. The way to feel big and strong isn't to eat, but to find yourself and be willing to allow yourself to be all that you can be. How best can you do that for yourself? This is entirely up to you to do. No one else can decide for you or do it for you.
I invite you to read the article on cutting cords listed at the end of the home page. When you have done some self exploration, you will know how that applies to you.
Your metabolism is also off. I'd go to a good naturopathic doctor and get that checked out.
Also, order the Aura-Soma essence, the Maha Chohan quintessence, which is called The Great Teacher - you apply it to the body. It is a lovely healing product which encourages the positive qualities and helps in the release of feelings that need to be released. You can order it at firstname.lastname@example.org.