"I've been in an abusive relationship for years - I created this?!?"
Please clarify, I am in love with a crack addict and been in this abusive relationship for 5 1/2 years. I love him not the addiction part. He is funny, handsome and smart, and we have separated for 7 months, he has become worst, a dn. I am in a lot of emotional pain, and I created this?????? I just found out I am being let go of my job this Friday? How would I create a new job ASAP?
Yes, you created this. It sounds as if you don't believe it, or don't want to believe it. How come? What would happen if you did believe it? Would you hate yourself, or do what it takes to turn things around? What would you have to believe in order to create your life - both in your job and in your relationship - not working out? Do you believe that you deserve to be in pain? Do you believe that life won't give you what you need, or work out for you? Do you live with a lot of chaos happening all the time? If so, how come? Life just mirrors for us what we have going on inside of us - our beliefs and the way we choose to see things... what emotions we have stored up inside of us that color how we see life. We have to discover these hidden things in ourselves and shine the light on them so to speak, so they can change and heal. That's the journey. Then we get to enjoy what we create, because we learn to create CONSCIOUSLY, with awareness.
I can't give you any instant fixes - and isn't that interesting - you seem to want an immediate fix, just as your boyfriend wants and needs immediate fixes to feel better... So, do you see how he is a mirror for you of this issue in yourself? Instead of doing the deep inner work you need to in order to heal, both you and your boyfriend seem to want the immediate fix. It doesn't work that way. You have to dive deep and have the courage to face what you need to in order to heal yourself and your life.
The way out (of stuff)) is through it - you have to explore what you feel and what you believe - you have to see where those beliefs came from, and be willing to change them. You have to learn to release emotional baggage in a safe and appropriate way. This is the way to strength of character.
Read the Laws of the Universe found on this site, and see what you come away with - new understandings will allow you to create the life, job, and relationships that work. Pay special attention to the part about changing core beliefs. What ARE your core beliefs about yourself and life?