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"I really wish I had fuller breasts and don't know what to do about it"

Hello there, I have been reading thru a lot of questions on your site and am wondering whether mine is appropriate in context. I am 24 years old about 5 ft 3 inches tall and should say am moderately good looking. My only problem is my breasts which I am really very very conscious of. They are quite small and haven't developed much since I was about 17. I have been on the pills - dunno if it had anything to do with it because everyone in my family, on both sides have full breasts. I am slim on the top and have a heavy bottom and am absolutely conscious of myself whenever I am naked or am wearing revealing clothes. In fact I am very unhappy about this aspect of myself and tend to feel incomplete and not feminine enough and it just makes me feel horrible. I really wish I had fuller breasts and don't know what to do about it. Could you please help me.


Hi - well, this is an issue of anxiety - believing that you aren't what you think you "ought" to be. It's the "I'm not good enough" issue. We are so bombarded by mass consciousness and the media about what the perfect image is, that we get blinded to our own unique beauty. It's so important to be able to see that we have created ourselves being what we are for a great reason. Have you wondered about the brilliance and purpose you had for being who you are, the piece you offer life that no one else does, for being your own, unique self? You know, the other day I was in a store, and I looked around, and all the women in there looked the same to me - I was having a hard time telling one from the other. There didn't seem to be any creative expression of who they were going on - it was as if everyone was trying to fit one certain model, and it was all the same model - not very interesting, frankly. Very plastic looking, I thought. No life force there.

When we hook into and believe what the mass media or mass consciousness is telling us is true or right, we lose our creative selves, and we become automatons. Sort of like being part of the Borg, in Star Trek, if you've watched that. It's very important to disconnect from mass consciousness if you desire to be your own creative, true self.

In Brazil, the model for feminine beauty is small breasts, and women have surgeries to make their breasts smaller if they feel they're too big. If they have big breasts, they feel ugly. In parts of Africa, what is considered sexiest is a woman's thigh - the bigger the better. In other cultures, a big bottom is considered absolutely delectable. So - it's really all relative.

What's important here is for you to love and appreciate yourself. If you desire to feel more feminine, that isn't about having bigger breasts. That's just a cultural, momentary preference in certain societies. Femininity is a state of mind, actually - being feminine is about having those inner qualities that relate to being compassionate, creative, intuitive, and feeling powerful in those areas. If you are having some difficulty loving yourself and your uniqueness, how you have created yourself being, then right there is a deep feminine quality to cultivate so that you can also then, give that to others. If you can't appreciate and love yourself, how then can you love others for who they are? Isn't that the point of this journey - to learn to love - and given that, isn't that the reason for diversity? Diversity is a great thing! What if all snowflakes were the same? It's not meant to be that way. Each is beautiful and special, with its own incredible design. Your design sounds nice to me. It's all about how we choose to perceive things. If you feed the thought constantly that you're not good enough, then you create a deep groove, an unhealthy pattern in your life. If you choose to look at yourself and see beauty - well, guess what you get?

I invite you to sit in meditation, and ask to speak to your feminine aspect. Allow it to come forth, and have a conversation with it, asking it what it really needs, what's going on, and to show you its true beauty.

The fact that most women who have breast implants get seriously ill is a sure sign to me that that's not a viable answer. If we want to be authentically feminine, how does putting a fake material in our breasts make us more of "a real woman"? It's not real. What is attractive in a woman, I believe, is her authenticity. That is what radiates out to others. The women I appreciate the most are those who have a depth of wisdom and strength and compassion to them, and I think that is a beauty which others respond to and appreciate as well. If a woman has to hide behind a mask, or put non-organic substances in her body to feel better about herself, how does that convey real femininity? It's an idealized, frozen image - and an idealized image is not a real, living, growing, available, authentic thing. I think it's fine that people choose to create themselves differently, physically, hopefully in a healthy, natural way, if that is what will bring them a greater sense of feeling good about themselves. However, I also think it's a temporary fix. To feel good about ourselves, we have to go into our inner beliefs and fears - just fixing it on the external won't do it. That issue will still pop up.

Blessings, Ayal

next 204. "I can't stop eating, even when I'm not hungry"

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