"l have pain around my heart when l plan something for my life"
l am 51 years old, born oct 26th 1951 and l am full of anger for my husband and his family. l am unhappy and depressed and l seem to have no focus and l am financially down and l desperately want a man who will give me love. How do l get rid of the pain l have around my heart when l plan something for my life?
Hello. Well, there is definitely some work here for you to do. First of all, you need to have some negative entities cleared from yourself and your space. I invite you to find a shamanic practitioner near you who can do this. You can contact the Foundation for Shamanc Studies to see if someone is available to help you with this. I also invite you to buy some epsom salts and 100% proof ever clear whisky, (don't drink it) to clear your space as well. Put about a cupful of the salt into an iron skillet and then pour about a capful or two of the ever clear on it. Light it carefully - there will be a small flame. Then walk around your house carrying it - let it get near every nick and cranny of your house, even the phones - this will help a lot. I'd do it twice a day for 4 days, and then as needed.
Secondly, you need to read The Laws of the Universe MANY times until you really get what its saying, and you go "aha!"
Thirdly, you have lived for a long time with blame and guilt. This can only bring you anger and dismay, which you mentioned being aware of in your life. No one else is to blame for what we experience in our lives. To blame others is to play the victim. A victim has no power, as you can see from how you described the difficulties you are experiencing in your life. If you want to be rid of the pain you feel, you must be willing to let go of being a victim and to take responsibility for your own life. You haven't chosen to do that up to this point. When you do choose to do so, you will empower yourself and feel a 100% better. Right now your energy level, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually is very low. You are not in touch with your own inner, divine source of power. You need to start developing self discipline and will power. It is easy to blame others - takes more strength to take personal responsibility for one's own life and the choices we choose to make. To develop your strength of will and self discipline, I invite you to choose to do something that you would truly enjoy but that you also have to make a commitment to, and keep that commitment, no matter what. I'd invite you to sign up for a yoga class or a meditation class, and get there on time to every class, and not miss even one, no matter what.
Fourthly, you need to get your creativity going. It doesn't matter in what area - just find something you like to do - remember what it is that you loved to do as a kid - write, sew, cook, paint, dance, work with kids, whatever - and do it!! Take a class - do whatever it takes to get in touch with your own creative energy.
You have been emotionally dependent upon others for much of your life - and you have believed other's ideas about how you "should" be. This has hindered you from developing your own creativity, self respect, and strength of character. If you want to be rid of the pain you mention, you have to be willing and committed to becoming self sustaining - self generating. Understanding how we all create our own reality, which you will read about in the Laws of the Universe, will help you with this.
It would be good for you to say this affirmation: "Mother Father God. Assist me by allowing me to know that all the places in my mind, body, and life where ______ has been a problem is healing now." Put in whatever feels right to you. Say it twice a day for three years. When you feel you have worked through an issue and it is done, go to another one and put that in.
There is a place in Massachusetts called the Options Institute that is really great for getting people re-filled with joy and making new choices for their lives. They offer seminars, classes, etc. It would be very good - life changing - for you to go there.
I also invite you to say this, twice a day for 3 months:
That's a lot. Enough to have your plate full for quite a while. But I want to add one more thing. The pain you feel around your heart when you try to do something is directly connected to you believing other people's ideas of how you should be. You felt rejected by your family - perhaps your husband's family, and so you do not have your own faith in yourself that can carry you through when you try to do something for yourself.
Now, if we accept the information stated in the Laws of the Universe, which says that everything we experience is simply a mirror of our own inner beliefs, then your family was mirroring for you your own rejection of yourself. Therefore, there is no need to be angry at them. They were simply reflecting back to you your own issues, which is what people and situations in our external world do. Your anger at feeling rejected and controlled closed your heart, and your fear that you were not good enough to create things in your life for yourself brought a lot of fear, which also closes the heart. That is the pain you feel. It is time to open your heart by loving and trusting yourself. When you do not reject yourself, the outside world cannot reject you either. When you know that you are the one who controls what you believe, you will not allow yourself to think that you have to believe what others say.
In fact, that situation where people tell you how you should be will no longer exist, because you will no longer be creating it that way. You will know that you are responsible for how you choose to be. The outside world will only mirror for you what you believe. So, when you love and trust yourself, you will see that coming back to you from the world around you. Again - it is accepting that we create our reality - when we no longer blame anyone else, then our hearts are free to open, and we come in touch with our true power, which is the power of divine creation - our own God self. That is what we are. We are made of the energy of God, divine Love, Universal Intelligence - however you name it, that is what we are. We forget that that is what we are, and this journey of life is all about remembering that, and then using that creative power to bring light and love into what we create and all that we choose to experience.