Trans4mind Home Page
Clearing the Way

"I cannot feel happy about my lover stripping for other women"

Hello Ayal. I will try to be as brief as possible. I am currently in a committed relationship. I will tell you off the top that he is a stripper. My problem is not him, but the behaviors of the other women. He videos each of his shows and I watch them. It seems that the deeper my feelings become for him the more problems I have watching the videos. He carries himself in a very professional manner, but I have a hard time handling the women rubbing their hands all over his body, whispering in his ears, etc. We have been seeing each other for seven months now. I expressed to him today how I felt about the videos. He stated "all those women want what you have" and "the only thing this job has done for me is make me a more selective person when it comes to women". He stated that for him it's only a job. He looks forward to it being over and coming home to me. He also told me that if I were more secure in our relationship I would not feel this way.


Hi - well, the information I am geting for you is this: there are definitely some issues going on here that deal with sexuality - whenever this kind of thing shows up, I try to be very careful as I don't want to program anyone - so, what I offer you here I offer with the invitation for you to find a way to check this out for yourself and see what comes up for you. Something regarding sexuality and how you feel about it has to do with your father.

If we look at what we create in life as a mirror of our internal issues, as a repeat of some pattern or belief we are carrying, then your having a partner who is involved in a profession where he uses his sexuality is a mirror for you of some pattern or belief you have in YOUR life.

Let me put it this way. Here is another prominent, close to you, intimate male in your life who is using his sexuality in a way that feels uncomfortable to you, but he tells you it's ok, even though it does NOT feel ok to you. So, in some way, your will, what you know to be right for you, is getting overrun - you are allowing yourself to be in a situation that doesn't feel right to you. How come? That's a pattern in your life. Where did it originate? That is your challenge to find out. Obviously, you are very uncomfortable with this situation you are in - what had you create it?

If you will sit in meditation, or therapy, and ask the question, "Where did this issue originate where I feel uncomfortable with how the man in my life is using his sexuality?" you will get some answers. If the answers you get are uncomfortable to you, then I strongly suggest you get some support in a therapeutic situation.

Check out the issue for you of unreciprocated affection - the belief that the love you put out will not be returned to you. This is the fear you carry - and it is now manifest in this situation - the man having other women all over him giving him affection, and your fear is the love you put out won't be good enough or stand up under that, or it won't be returned to you. Use the core issue formula in the Laws of the Universe to help change this belief.

Also, check out what you have going on concerning what you believe about the orientation of yourself in profession and society. Here you are with a man whose profession seems to bother you - how he orients himself in society through his profession doesn't feel good to you - so, if that is a mirror for you - what beliefs do you have about how one relates to society through one's profession? Something uncomfortable for you is going on there. If you have a charge about something, that is an immediate clue that you have a false belief going on somewhere. Do you think people have to compromise or prostitute themselves to get by and survive in society? Check out what this is all about for you. This is a 5th chakra issue - you may want to read about that in Caroline Myss's book Anatomy of the Spirit. Also, her book Sacred Contracts which deals with what we came into life to do, the contracts we made to fulfill in this life, and the different ways that can get distorted, would be good for you to read. They are both fascinating books.

There are some products, in the meantime, that can help you get some internal support and clarity. One is the Aura-Soma pomander, the yellow one, which is an antidote to nervousness and negative thoughts. It brings back clarity and courage and sparkle to life. The other is the magenta quintessence which is an aura protector and re-awakens one to the love and beauty in life.

I would invite you to also say this intention twice a day for 3 weeks:

"I now sponsor myself to the Creator, Cosmic All,the Masters, and the Creator Entity to have the refill of the Creator's consciousness and energies: 111.10 health patterns; 110.76 healing rates below 89.9; 59.93 future patterns; 59.71 past patterns; 60.834 personality healing and love, wisdom, justice, personal freedom (67.105) equality, awareness, patience, tolerance, and integrity (55.075) inspiration (87.724) appreciation (88.174) and will power (119.475). Thank you."

Blessings, Ayal

next 156. "I have this same issue of insecurity in relationship"

Click here to donate & send a question to Ayal:
Clearing the Way   |   Laws of the Universe   |   Recommended Links