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"What guidelines do you suggest for creating a new relationship?"

Hi Ayal,

Thank you for your response to my previous question (120), it was very helpful and accurate. I am currently interested in creating a romantic relationship with an appropriate partner (which I am looking for). I would be very grateful if you could help me out by providing me with some insights and anything that comes up for me about the topic.


Hi - This is pretty wide open; maybe if you can narrow down what you are wanting to take a look at, it would help us focus here. It seems that you are asking me how to create a relationship, and that's a big area to deal with...

If I were you, I'd start by reading some good books on relationship. I'd write a list of what I am looking for in a partner - what qualities are important to me, and then I'd see whether or not I embody those qualities in myself. The only way to manifest the kind of person and relationship you choose to experience is to BE those same things already. To have it within you. So, take a look at what areas in yourself seem strong and well developed, and take an honest look at what you still need to develop, or what you fear, or where you still judge yourself. To have the kind of relationship you want, you must be, yourself, the kind of partner you want in another.

Blessings, Ayal


Thanks for your reply, Ayal. I know my question was wide open, I did that on purpose because I was hoping that whatever I needed to know would come up for me. I agree with your advice, and that's what I have been doing, I think I have a good handle on the logical approach to get what I want. The reason why I have asked you is for some deeper insights like you did for my previous question. To narrow it down a bit more, I would like to concentrate on the topic of attracting the partner I desire. I think I have some issues with the initial steps of approaching and communicating with a potential partner, which may be due to lack of confidence or fear of rejection. I am also finding it difficult to find someone that can connect with me on a deep level (although I have experienced this in the past, and currently with some people in a non-romantic way). I hope this makes more sense to you.


Hi - what seems to be going on here is some first chakra stuff, which deals with your roots, family or tribal connections, physical energy, and the will to live. If we have experienced rejection, that usually begins in the family system. When we believe that we have been rejected, that wounds our ability to provide for life's necessities, as we don't feel good enough or competent. And, as human beings, having a partner is definitely, usually, a life necessity.

Your feelings of difficulty regarding providing yourself with a partner stem in a large part from this belief that you can't provide for life's necessities. With a belief such as that operating, finding someone would be difficult. It isn't that there aren't people out there who can connect with you on a deep level, but your belief creates you not being able to find them, and the fear of being rejected again would keep you from ALLOWING a connection.

Sometimes it helps to see what we have equated with what. For instance, often we glom or glue 2 beliefs together that don't belong together. We sort of mis-file them, so to speak, in our computer system (the brain). They are like software errors. Here are some examples: Getting close = rejection. Or, reaching my full creative potential = being alone, or, sharing my needs in communication = being clobbered. You might want to write down this formula of what you have believed equals what, and then consciously see yourself separating these beliefs and vision yourself re-filing them into the right place. Otherwise, they continue to loop around in the more primitive part of our brain, which deals more with reaction, fight or flight, (the reptilian brain, as scientists call it) instead of being able to move up to the higher brain, or Divine consciousness, where Truth resides.

There is definitely a belief going on for you that your love, the love and affection you put out, will not be returned - the belief of unreciprocated affection. Work with changing this in the core belief formula in The Laws of the Universe. This one can run very deep and affect everything in your life. It creates great anxiety and would therefore make approachng anyone, or being in relationship, difficult, frightening, and painful.

A connection with your Higher Self, knowing who you Truly are, which is only Love, an aspect of Divine consciousness, would help you immensely to be able to then connect to and relate, not from fear or lack, but from that place which is Love, and lives in all of us. So - check into where you're at spiritually, what supports you in your spiritual life, what you choose to use as your spiritual foundation.

Somewhere in the family dynamics, you took on a lot of blame and guilt. This needs to be released. It would help you, as well, to understand what you came to learn in this life by having the family that you have. That way, you are no longer a victim to what went on in the family dynamics, but the creator. You then see how you created the perfect family to get the perfect lessons you chose to get this time around. That is empowerment.

Guilt comes from some judgment we have made about ourselves or another. Since judgments do not come from love or Divine understanding, or Higher Knowledge/wisdom, when we make a judgment, we believe that we have not been loving, and so we feel guilty.

There are a lot of issues showing up for you about feeling deprived, left behind, indebted, etc, which all speak to me of family rejection and not being in your own power, or true knowledge of who you are. When trauma happens in our lives, it comes from some false belief we carry - a belief that this is what we can expect in life - that life is painful, unsafe, that people hurt one another, that we are not good enough to be treated lovingly, etc. etc. And when we experience the manifestation of such a belief in the form of a trauma, instead of flowing peacefully with life, as we naturally are meant to do, we energetically say "no" to what is happening. In doing so, we freeze that thought within us, and it becomes stagnant energy. Even though the initial saying "no" was a strategy to protect us from what was happening at that moment, it becomes stagnant energy in the auric field, as it is related to the past, not the present moment. That then operates from that moment on, and inhibits our creating life the way we choose.

I invite you to write down what comes up for you that are core beliefs you hold about yourself, relationships, and life. Then, one by one, use the core belief formula in the Laws to change them into what you choose, instead, to have as a belief in your life.

If you haven't done so already, read Caroline Myss's book, Anatomy of the Spirit - that will help greatly with understanding and clearing a lot of this in the chakra system.

Also, say this intention:

"I sponsor myself to the Creator, Cosmic All, the Masters, and the Creator Entity to have my life force energies, 18.58, and life motivation energies, 56.93, optimized!"

I invite you also to order the Aura-Soma olive green pomander for courage and positive thinking, and also the Sanat Kumara and Lady Venus Kumara quintessence Aura-Soma, for making a connection with others in a positive way. You can use those daily until the bottle is finished.

One other thing: to repair a hole in your aura: hold your arms out to the sides with elbows bent and hands pointing up to the sky, with fingers closed. Bring your thumbs alternately in and out for 1 minute. Do this twice a day for 2 months.

Blessings, Ayal

next 146. "I cannot relax enough to be myself"

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