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"Can jealousy be resolved?"

Dear Ayal,

I have what I find to be a solid spiritual practice, but need some advice on resolving jealousy in my life. I choose to walk in love, but I find myself jealous instead. I learned how to compare and to be jealous. Can I un-learn?


Hi - The experience of jealousy can be difficult and definitely a block to one's peace of mind. Usually jealousy stems from feelings of insecurity which developed in early childhood. When we get the message that we are not good enough, or if someone we love is unavailable to us in some way, our sense of who we are can be very wounded, and we feel abandoned as children. We then can feel very unsure of ourselves in later life, comparing ourselves to others and always seeming to come out less than they are. We may feel unsure that the people we give our love to will be there for us.

Jealousy can certainly be healed. Sometimes it's good to see that what we dislike in ourselves is actually just the fear of a small child, a fear that he/or she would not survive - and so there developed a strategy - the strategy being a heightened need to be on the lookout for love and energy being taken away from oneself and going elsewhere.

It sounds as if you have a strong spiritual foundation. When we can view something we dislike in ourselves with Love and compassion, which is what our spiritual practice is all about, we can transmute the energy of it.

I would invite you to do a visualization when you have some time to yourself and are in a safe and peaceful place, in which you ask that part of you that is jealous to step outside of your body so that you can talk to it. During this conversation, if you approach that part with Love and understanding, you may find out quite a lot. You may discover that this part may just have been trying to help you out in some way. If so, you can then thank it for protecting you, and ask it if it would like to have a different job. You can then find it a job to do helping you in a way that supports you and works better for you.

Another method would be to offer the jealousy up to Spirit. One way that I have found to be very effective is to use the Violet Flame of Transmutation prayer. You ask that the full power, activity, and application of the Law of Forgiveness and the Violet Flame of Transmutation (the violet flame is a very high healing and cleansing vibration, which is sometimes seen at the spiritual eye in deep meditation) transmute the jealousy into self worth, love and compassion. You visualize a beautiful violet light going all through your being and taking with it what you no longer want. You can even ask that it be done while you sleep. These are two methods that I have found to work quite well. There are many layers to healing old wounds, and you may find that continuing to work with this and to pour love into this area of your life will be helpful.

Blessings to you, Ayal


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