Unfold Your Wings and Watch Life Take Off

Part 3 - Your Healing

Your Healing From Meaningless And Pointless Existence

When we are lonely, depressed and full of buried emotional pain, we can feel as if no one wants to know us. Life seems meaningless and pointless. This is because we are cut off from our true selves - the still lake where the radiant inner swan glides, which is always their but which we only experience when we are in love with the whole of life and are at peace.

I was lonely and depressed for a number of years. I suffered such inner turmoil that I desperately wanted to find a quick way to escape this pain. Committing suicide seemed the quickest method of escape. As a result, for two years, thoughts of suicide and methods of suicide were predominant. I imagined taking my own life many times and in many ways. If I were walking across a bridge I would imagine throwing myself into the river. If I were holding a kitchen knife I would fantasise about using it to harm myself. Once I even tried suicide but could not go through with it. The pain I felt was so great I would consider doing anything for a quick release. Those were dark days. It is painful to remember them.

We all want a quick cure for our pain. The more we are in pain the faster we want the cure. The actual cure - listening to our calling and embracing our potential, can appear dauntingly difficult to commit to, and achingly slow in its ability to release us from our pain. That is why I refused to listen to my calling for two years. For those two years I lay on a couch most of the day with my head full of negative, destructive thoughts and limiting beliefs about my own ability and potential. I believed that because I could no longer manage a nine to five job, I could not work. I then believed that because I could not work I would be unable to marry and have children. I had become a slave to my own negativity.

	UNFOLDING YOUR WINGS
Be careful about the limiting beliefs you hold for your life. These beliefs will work away in your Subconscious like an invisible prison without bars, keeping you enslaved. Try to become aware of any limiting beliefs that you hold and, when you are ready, gently let them go by replacing them with new, more expansive beliefs brought to you by inner guidance.

I could not face what seemed like a daunting uphill journey that had to be travelled to escape from my depression. I was alone with the healing call but refused to see it. After two years lying on the couch with my face to the wall and suicide my predominant dark, menacing thought, I knew I had to turn and face the light of the world. It was then, at that precise moment, that I saw my calling, gleaming like a beautiful radiant swan, and I began to follow it. As a result I made a commitment to work in an Oxfam shop. (See Your Healing From Adversity). This was my first difficult and tentative step towards release. Other steps followed. (See Your Healing From Fear Anger And Grief and Your Healing From Loneliness). These steps gradually led me away from despair towards inner peace and boundless love.

The early stages of this journey were a very difficult part of my life. However I felt that my life had become meaningful and hopeful no matter how steep the hill I was climbing appeared, and this feeling of meaning and hope helped shake off the suicidal and despairing thoughts. Meaning and hope had entered into my life because I had set out on the healing path.

	UNFOLDING YOUR WINGS
If you are in despair and are feeling suicidal, you have my sympathy. Try hanging on to the light, no matter how dark your life may seem. In the midst of the darkness endeavour to remember that because your life seems unbearable at present, does not mean it will always be so dark and forbidding. This too will pass. See if you can sense a positive action you can take that will bring a small measure of relief. Taking even one small step is enormously helpful because it rekindles hope. You may find that once you have taken one small positive step the next step will be easier.

Today I am very thankful that I turned to the call and followed it. It has guided me every step of the way into a pre-eminent quality of life.

Envoi

I am in great pain.
My life seems empty and pointless.
Destructive thoughts of quick escape
Hover close by, compounding the despair.

Deep inside I know there is another way.
Deep inside I know about the call.

The call is always there.
It is present as an ever-loving friend,
Even when all others have deserted me.

The call loves me more than I can imagine.
No friend ever loved me thus.

Slowly, slowly the call guides me to the healing path.
I commit to my potential, freedom and release,
And I am healed of my meaningless and pointless existence.