Shadows from puffy white clouds move slowly and silently across the sun-lit fertile plain. Small reflections mark farm buildings. A turbulent breeze whistles through the grass. The valley is filled with the plaintive bleating of grazing sheep and the gurgling of small streams. Sun sparkles off fast flowing waters. Tall, spent thistles vibrate in the whistling wind. A single piece of thistle down fails to cling and floats by, carried out into the valley's vast emptiness.
Your Healing From Insecurity
People cling to all manner of goals and aspirations to feel secure. They cling to career goals (when I get promotion I will feel secure), money goals (when I earn $1,000,000 a year I will feel secure), relationship goals, (when I get married I will feel secure) or family goals (when I have children I will feel secure). We might ask ourselves what we cling to, to feel secure?
If we cling to having anything in the outer world to feel secure, we are going to fail in our bid to find security. We need to learn to find security here and now even if our life is a bit of a mess. Have you ever picked up a ball that is too low in air pressure and tried to press out a hollow on the ball's surface? You succeed only to find the ball has developed a hollow somewhere else! Our outer lives are like this. We gain our money goal only to find we are facing divorce, or we achieve our career goal only to find we can't have the third child we wanted.
Today on the cover of a magazine I saw a picture of a famous English football player. The caption read, "The Man Who Has Everything." A few lucky people will achieve all their goals, money, fame, a family or whatever, but that will still not bring them security. We will never find security by trying to fix our life so that everything is perfect on the outside. A few famous people may have everything outwardly but they will still have to look elsewhere to find security. If we are to trust the passion of our calling, risk escaping the self-made confines of our existence and climb through life with the freedom and power of a swan in flight, then we need to admit that security is an inside job.
We begin to feel secure when we turn away from our outer world attachment to goals, possessions and people, and turn within to live in the abiding peace of the present moment. How can we achieve this?
I do this by retiring early to my bedroom around 10-00pm. Before I retire I put the heat on in my bedroom to make it nice and cosy. I then clean my teeth, wash etc. so that once I enter my room I do not need to leave it again. I also take a glass of water with me so I can have a drink.
I put my favourite rocking chair beside the window and turn on the table lamp that I keep on the windowsill. I relax and feel the warm glow of the radiator beside my chair. I gaze lazily out the window onto the river below or watch the play of light and shade on the old beams that support the sloped ceiling. These beams are painted sage green, a beautiful, restful colour.
In time I take out a favourite spiritual book from a few that I keep handy upstairs and read for a while. After reading I contemplate the passage and then write an entry in my private personal development diary. This is a diary that I keep of insights I have had that day, or aspirations I currently have for my own personal development. After writing the day's passage, I read a few past entries as a reminder of past commitments and understandings. Then I light a candle, turn off the light and sit and watch the reflections of light and shadow on the ceiling. Once I feel an inner peace descend I move to face the candle and do half an hour's meditation. Then I get changed, give thanks and ask the most elevated part of myself to help make the inner changes I am trying to bring about in my life. Finally I get into bed and go to sleep in a state of total inner peace.
I invariably have a good night's sleep. The peace and sense of security I feel from my nightly routine increasingly permeates my daytime experiences. During those evening retreats I often feel the great peace and security of the present moment and an awareness of Being Alive.
During my bedtime retreats I like to think that I am engaged in building a shell of peace around myself. This is totally different from carrying around a defensive shell. A shell of peace keeps unwholesome influences out but lets people in. With my shell of peace comfortably in place, my outer life can go up or down and I am unaffected.
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