A beautiful pond lies ringed with rock and surrounded by ocean. The bottom is visible in strong summer sunshine. Long stringy seaweed floats close to the pond's edge. A small brown fish glides from under the seaweed. She moves with a sudden deft flick of her tail near a stony shelled crab creeping sideways. Blue sky and white cloud are reflected in the pond's gently rippled surface.
Your Potential Can Make You Feel As If You Are Lost
When we start to walk the way we become less certain and our outer life begins to reflect that uncertainty. Old goals and ambitions may not have the same appeal. We may not feel the same connection with the career path we have chosen in life. Whether or not we live in an up-market part of town may not be so important. Getting a new car may no longer be so attractive. This is happening because we are changing our goals from outer goals concerned with amassing material wealth, to inner goals concerned with increasing our ability to experience peace, love and happiness.
As I made this move from outer to inner goals, I decided to change the plans I had for my life. I have changed my plans twice, from being an architect to a management consultant and from being a management consultant to a writer. Making these changes was rather unsettling. I needed to acknowledge that my present career path no longer satisfied me spiritually. I had to admit this before an alternative path opened. As a result I felt lost as I made the transition from one career path to another. Feeling lost for a period was an inevitable part of my transition experience.
When I took time out for healing, I felt lost for extended periods. Creating an open space for my own healing brought forward my ability to nurture and be creative. I moved from having my day structured by my job or my commitments, to having a day I could structure any way I pleased, or even had an absence of structure, by letting the day unfold without a predetermined plan.
Being in a healing space like this was highly experimental. How was I to spend my day? What activities were best? How did I know if the way I was spending my day was healing for me? I felt as if I was drifting in the ocean without a paddle or rudder to help give me direction. Listening to my inner mentor helped me answer these questions and structure my day. I needed to remember that during these healing times my direction and purpose was inner healing. As long as I felt I was making progress with my inner healing, it did not matter that my outer life lacked direction and purpose.
During the years I spent on experimental healing I went on walkabout, allowed fears and tears to surface, nurtured myself with quiet times and read spiritually enlightening books. For most of this period I felt lost, yet deep inside I knew that what I was doing was meaningful, so I kept going. Throughout this difficult period my close friends were supporting me. I did not concern myself with the opinions of others. At that time I was a single man. If you have a partner it would be wise to gain their support if you feel drawn to enter a healing period. This could be difficult if they do not value inner healing and the spiritual life.
During my period of inner healing I often wondered if I would ever emerge from these lost feelings. The openness of healing periods and periods of transition helped me gain the trust and sensitivity I needed to become ever more dependant on inner guidance. Eventually I emerged with a new expanded sense of purpose and direction and with new, more rewarding outer world goals given by my new, more purified calling.
Periods of transition and inner healing are not easy. However they are necessary if we are to go through a personal Cultivate Life!. During these times we are a bit like the caterpillar retreating from the world to build a cocoon and settle inside. To the onlooker nothing seems to be happening. Then one day, to everyone's surprise, a beautiful butterfly emerges.
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