The bed is full of spring's pink profusion, light pink, dark pink, soft pink, strong pink. Some damp flower heads droop and touch the earth where small green leaves populate places between the flowers. Each leaf is bedecked with tiny glistening drops. Bees bounce dank flowers next to fallen pink petals scattered on brown earth.
Your Calling Can Get You Into Trouble
If we are not skilled communicators we may find our well-intentioned actions lying like fallen and scattered pink petals. When we are able to live a guided life we find, as if by magic, that we are able to meet and make intimate friendships with many people. These intimate friends, we discover, are also living guided lives. They are happy to support us. However we will inevitably find that some people will resist our well-intentioned actions.
Why do some people resist the well-intentioned actions of those who are living guided lives? Everyone needs to feel secure. Feeling secure is an important human need. Some people do not know about living a guided life and the security it brings. If people do not know the security of a guided life, they find it difficult to give others the freedom to be themselves. Rather than listening to their needs and responding to those needs in a relationship of equals, they will have a tendency to cajole others into conforming to their wishes.
They feel that by exerting control over others in this way, they will be creating a secure environment for themselves. Subconsciously they are telling themselves,
"If only I can manipulate the world to suit my wishes, then there will be no danger and I will feel safe."
It is hard work trying to mould the world to suit your requirements. Relating to the world in a manipulative way is very stressful. Consequently when a person living a guided life is relating to someone who is not, then awkwardness can result. Fortunately our inner guidance will help through the difficulties ahead.
The answer to being in awkward relationships is to communicate sensitively and lovingly. We may be called to stand up for our point of view and persist in expressing it. However inner guidance comes from our whole being, therefore such persistence will always be tempered with love and understanding. Despite our best intentions to communicate lovingly, sometimes it doesn't work. It is at these times that our calling can get us into trouble and our well-intentioned actions are like scattered petals in the wind.
When I was 29 years old I was working as an architect in an office in Belfast. I was put in charge of the design of a family day care centre to be built in the northern part of the city quite near our office. I had an assistant, an architect my own age. He was a great help to me and I involved him in the major decisions and design developments. I appreciated his help.
During the period I was working on this project I took a break to visit Scotland. One night, while I was away, I was lying awake in my hotel room with the window open on a perfectly still, balmy, summer night, when the curtains blew open. This mysterious wind swept over my bed and I felt my spirit lifted up on a beam of white light into another realm. There I was surrounded by the loving presence of Beings of Light. While in their presence I was told to go back to Belfast and awaken people spiritually. After receiving this guidance I travelled from this realm, back down the beam of white light into my body lying at rest in the bed. At the time I did not know what to make of this experience and it felt too personal and intimate to share with others. I returned to Belfast from my break in Scotland to continue my work.
When I returned to the project I no longer seemed satisfied with my work as an architect. I began to dream of offering work that was more personal, that could change lives. I began to dream of offering a management training course that combined creativity training with training in one to one and group communication. I even gave this imaginary course a name, Creative Action Management.
Eventually our project was successfully designed and the office was commissioned to carry out a new project, the design of accommodation for the elderly near the Mourne Mountains. This time my colleague was to lead the project and I was to be his assistant. There was a reversal of roles from the roles we had on the previous job. I was looking forward to us working together again. I felt sure we could do a wonderful design suited to the special needs of elderly people.
When the project started my colleague went to work on the design by himself. I was left sitting at my desk twiddling my thumbs. I approached him and offered to help but he did not want it. I tried a number of times to become involved. Nothing I tried worked. I talked to our boss but he did not want to address the issue. I continued to sit at my desk and twiddle my thumbs. This went on for days. I began to feel that I was drawing a salary for doing nothing. I felt I was not doing my job and was bored.
I knew I needed to do my job. I knew I needed to earn my salary. I cared about the project I had been asked to assist with. I felt intuitively that I did not deserve to be left out. So I began to work on the project on my own to see if I could improve our design work.
Eventually after a month working on the project a design meeting was called with our boss. My colleague's design was discussed. Then the proposed improvements I had worked on were discussed. The fact that I had worked on improvements and presented them was an embarrassment to my boss. My colleague was irritated that I had been working on the project and had presented my improvements.
None of my improvements were accepted. I had presented them in a calm manner, although I was feeling rejected. I was seen as a troublemaker, someone who was rocking the boat. A week later I was told there wasn't enough work for me and I was dismissed from my job.
I felt a hurt at having lost my job. I had really cared and thought this had never been properly acknowledged. I decided not to apply for another architect's job. Although I felt real fear at the prospect of leaving the architecture profession, I persisted with the move because I felt called to leave. Once again I was experiencing a transcendental calm when I thought of leaving, a calm that was much deeper and more profound than my superficial fears.
Through my insight I realised there were too few opportunities in the profession to care deeply about the work I was asked to do. I felt boxed in. My sacking led me to rely more on my inner guidance and I accepted the challenge to make my dream of offering my management-training course a reality even though I had a disability. Eventually, by following my calling, I went on to be self-employed as a management consultant. My working life improved dramatically. Although this move brought a lot of fear to the surface, where it could be healed, my sense of freedom increased. I was learning to trust my inner guidance.
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