The water glistens in strong spring sunlight. A meadow of soft thick green, laced with spots of white, rests beside the stream. A hint of path slopes to visit flowing water between piles of neatly stacked brown logs. Large bubbles smoothly skirt small boulders, bump over rippling rapids and dissolve. A solitary bird calls out passionately from a nearby tree. From the dark depth of a deep pool small pieces of weed surface, and are carried effortlessly downstream.
Your Calling Transforms Fear Into Love
Thought emanating from fear is not inner guidance. Simply allow it to surface. Express it and it will leave us. We need to feel free to express our fears in any way our calling suggests. We can write down our fears and then burn them. Symbolizing our fears being consumed by fire in this way can rid us of them. Alternatively we could confess our fears to a close friend, who would understand. Fears can also be symbolized as imaginary drawings.
With high levels of fear we may wish to go into a forest and scream. I have done this myself and found it very therapeutic. Once I did a workshop in Scotland because, as a young man of 29, I was finding it difficult to make peace with my sexual desires. I received information about the workshop in Scotland and read it with interest and more than a little trepidation. In my quiet moments I felt called to attend this workshop. This desire came from my own need for healing, was suffused in peace and was intuitive. Thoughts emanating from fear that were not intuitive, were telling me to run a million miles from such a workshop. I went to the workshop.
My insight was guiding me to be totally honest about my thoughts, feelings and inclinations around my sexual desires. I understood this was the only way I was going to receive healing. Being so honest about my sexual desires was going to be very difficult.
I flew from Belfast to Glasgow and then took the train all the way to a small village in northern Scotland where the workshop was to be held. I could feel the trepidation build with every mile the train travelled along its tracks. It was September, and the highlands of Scotland were extraordinarily beautiful.
I tried to distract my mind, which was doing somersaults, by gazing out the train window as we passed through the mountains and valleys. The mountains were covered in brown and purple heather. Occasionally dark clefts of bare rock broke through the heather carpet. Although I was suffering from nervousness, underneath I felt a strange almost transcendental calm. I knew I was taking the right course of action.
I arrived in the village in the afternoon. The warm welcome I received helped calm my frazzled nerves. I could sense I was in a healing place. I felt safe. The next day groups were formed to do the workshops. I happened to find myself in a group of five women! How could I confess my thoughts and feelings around my sexuality to five women? The fear and trepidation began to rise like never before. However beneath my fear the strange calm persisted. I realized there was no going back. It was all or nothing.
Over the next few days of the workshop I confessed some of my difficulties concerning my sexuality and my sexual desires. It was a difficult experience. One of the women, who was quite young, said some unpleasant things to me. However the other women were so understanding and loving. At the end of the workshop I felt really healed.
On the last night each group was invited to do a short dramatic performance to convey the feelings the workshop had released. During the dramatic performance I rose from the floor and as I did gave a deep growling scream. The fear was starting to leave.
When I went home I could not settle. I felt this energy rising inside me. My intuition was prompting me to go into the woods and let it out. That is exactly what I did. I still remember standing in the woods at night howling for all I was worth. My sexual desires never troubled me to the same extent ever again. I had been released.
I have found that expressing fear helps it leave. This is necessary because our calling will lead us to activities and decisions that will bring our fears to the surface. In this way the call changes our fear into love. Ever since I have expressed and let go of these fears I have had more loving and gentle feelings around my sexuality. As a result, since this workshop, I have been able to improve my relationships with women.
We will learn the best and most appropriate ways to express our fears, by listening to the feelings given by inner guidance. You might like to experiment by expressing your fear in different ways. (See Your Calling Is Elevated Through The Release Of Pain).
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