E X P L O R E T H E S E L I F E C H A L L E N G E S . . . |
QUESTIONNAIRE - Page 22
The method of filling in the questions and of scoring is explained in the first page of the Questionnaire, Activity.
D - SEXUALITY
Trait 1 - SEXUAL LIBIDO
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ANALYSIS
Sexual libido (sex drive) is often correlated with quick sexual arousal, interest in visual explicitness and a liking for impersonal penetrative sex, which is rather a masculine view of the nature of sex and does not take account of the equally strong more feminine drive towards procreation, the aesthetic pleasure and eroticism of sex, and the expression of intimacy through shared pleasure and contact. When partners are happy to contribute towards the fulfillment of each other's needs and desires, then compatibility is possible and male values complement female. This requires communication, honesty and empathy, which is why sex in the context of a loving relationship is so much more fulfilling.Those with high scores may tend to regard the sex partner as a sex object and pay little attention to his or her personality and desires, and in particular to seek only sensual satisfaction rather than a meaningful personal relationship. Women tend to regard this form of sexual behavior as less attractive than do men; for a woman, eroticism tends to require more emotional commitment. A high scorer tends to value sexual pleasure above other aspects of a loving relationship. Extreme high scores suggest a compulsion for sexual outlet, in which case this may be a substitute for a suppressed major unmet need (e.g. for love, belonging or intimacy); if this is not handled and a normal sexual expression is not possible then socially unacceptable means may be turned to.
Those with low scores are likely to have no impulse for voyeurism or exhibitionism, a distaste for sexual explicitness and especially pornography and have no strong longing for the physical act of intercourse. They may find it hard to get sexually aroused, or conditions may have to be "just right", which implies there is not a compatible partner with whom empathy and intimacy is readily available. On the other hand, they may be looking for more spiritual qualities than being "good in bed" or the sex drive may have been satisfactorily sublimated into other creative activities.
How do you compare?
There are, it seems, archetypal (genetic, primitive-brain pattern) differences between male and female, hence men and women in practice tend to have different attitudes towards sex and therefore a different norm on the questionnaire, though this is very much affected by cultural conditioning, painful or pleasurable experiences and of course conscious preference; this is not "how it should be" or necessarily is. Sexuality is also affected by individual bio-rhythms, age and emotional tone; stress, nervousness and tension, especially regarding the partner, are an immediate destroyer of sexual feelings.The norm on this trait is between 27-28 points (for men) and 21-22 points (for women) (statistical approximations). This may be represented on the following scales:
FOR MEN: High libido 42 41 40 39 38 37 36 35 34 32 31 30 29 28 || 27 26 25 24 23 22 21 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Low libido
FOR WOMEN: High libido 42 41 40 39 38 37 36 35 34 32 31 30 29 28 27 26 25 24 23 22 || 21 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Low libido
Move on to the next Trait: SEXUAL SATISFACTION.
Return to Know Your Own Mind.