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To the extent that we put a barrier up against the past, we cannot be integrated. Remembering things by its very nature puts attention on the past. The past may be pleasant, nostalgic or painful to recall but it doesn't govern the present - though one may feel it does!
Between you and your memories there may be a barrier created by suppressing the memory of unwanted past experiences. This reduces your ability to enjoy your present life. It denies you that resource of youthful energy, enthusiasm and wonder that somehow got lost during the years. It got lost because the energy was subsumed in creating the barrier of suppression, a barrier that became fixed and automatic, closing down the mind/body connection. When you remove this barrier, you will find it much easier to be in the here-and-now, and be pleasantly and joyfully aware in the present moment. There is a very simple and powerful way to break through this barrier of suppressed emotional charge between your conscious mind and your memories and accompanying feelings. You can regain your enthusiasm and wonder of life: you will discover it is still there, you just have to reclaim it.
Recall Exercise
You simply give yourself the direction: "Recall Something" and as quickly as you can, obtain a memory, then repeat the direction immediately. Any memory will do, whether it is from one minute ago or from years ago. But don't dwell on a period or experience; try to 'jump around', allowing whatever comes up to be OK before you quickly move on. Intend, each time, to recall something different.
After a while you will run out of 'stock memories'. You may dry up and find it hard to find a memory. You will then be aware of this barrier. You have billions if not trillions of memories. You should find memories with ease at first. When recalling becomes difficult you will know that something is going on! Your mind is being careful in case you recall something it doesn't want you to. Keep going! Give the direction "Recall something" and if no memory is found, simply repeat the direction again. Know your unconscious mind is actually answering the question and finding a memory. You just aren't aware of it.
Soon the memories will start to flow again - this is the breakthrough you're expecting. Keep giving the direction and keep the memories coming as quickly as possible. Do not dwell on any of them. The purpose of this exercise is to be able to freely recall the past, not to relive the memories in depth. This seemingly simple procedure will take you a long way in your development. When the going gets difficult, or if nothing seems to be happening, persist with the exercise until the breakthrough occurs and you feel more whole, at one with your mind, body and feelings.
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