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The Three Master Keys To Wealth

For the last five years, since New Year's Eve 2000 to be precise, I've been involved in a project entitled MindMillion. At the core of the project was the question, "How do we get to be wealthy - real millionaires?" We, in this instance, is essentially anyone who wants this.

There were three major research phases which involved a cast of thousands eventually, from all over the world, from all kinds of backgrounds, all kinds of ethnicity, all kinds of age, education, and with wildly different ideas as to how they were going to achieve their wealth. Many people started out not from a zero point of nothing, but from a long way back - burdened down with debt, long history of business failures and no "family money" to fall back on.

I am a systems researcher, first and foremostly; and for the last 35 years I have done little else but to study complex systems, such as humans with their motivations, thoughts, emotions and behaviors, to find out how such things work in real life, outside of a reality reduced laboratory, outside of make belief, illusion.

People are blessed with so many amazing gifts from the Creative Order by right of birth, and I made it my business to firstly, try and find out what the problem with "wealth and success" is, and then to come up with some workable solutions so that wealth can be achieved, just as health can be achieved with good nutrition and a few core basics, such as a friendly environment, a good night's sleep, fresh air and some light exercise now and then.

Although the story of these three research programs is a long and complex one, in the end there are three core aspects that have everything to do with how successful any individual will be to get what they want out of life - symbolised by the idea of achieving millionaire status, more in terms of an "exercise in reality creation" and a badge of successful completion of a course on "how to make it in the real world" than anything else. These three core aspect, the 3 master keys to wealth, are as follows:

1. The very first is perhaps the most important of them all - in order to succeed in reality creation, no matter what kind it might be but definitely including business success, a person needs to be FEARLESS. They need to have found ways of overcoming their own fears, reservations, stress, doubts, or in whatever way they think of their fears.

   Fear manifests in many different ways that don't look like fear but are exactly that, and including procrastination, inability to make up one's mind, changing tack randomly, inability to "stay with the programme", lack of will power, focus and vision, self doubt, self sabotage and so on and so forth.

   From leadership to decision making, from goal setting to overcoming obstacles and from future planning to conducting the necessary day-to-day activities, being able to deal with one's own fear responses, to know them and to have a way to resolve these is the master key to success in everything - including business, dating and politics. The second master key to wealth flows directly from the first and that is:
   
   

2. Being able to think straight - to make use of the marvellous facilities of logic, analysis and learning the Creative Order imbued every person with by right of birth. This is not and was never about "school learning" or an accumulation of facts, but instead, being able to observe the environment, to find patterns and to LEARN what works, and what doesn't.

   It is this ability to think clearly which allows people who have never even attended school to not only build great business empires, but also to change the world in many other ways, through inventions, inspiration, contributions of all kinds. Being able to think clearly, logically and to HOLD THE FOCUS is an absolute pre-requisite for goal setting, long term planning and to keep the overview on how one's plans are working when they are tested by reality, and then to go on and make the requisite changes to make them work even better still. The third master key to wealth is:
   
   

3. The sixth sense abilities - call it intuition, inspiration, a "gut instinct" for the good deal; luck, good fortune or simply to be in the right place at the right time and to know exactly where these times and places can be found.

   No number-cruncher has ever struck it super-rich - for that, you need that extra "SPECIAL SOMETHING." Now this "special something" is neither mysterious nor esoteric; it is simply the ability to interface with the energy mind or unconscious mind. Every person "owns" an unconscious mind, and they all function much as they should - but very few people have learned to listen to the messages, and even fewer still have learned to decode them, trust them, and follow them.

   This is not at all hard or requires years of study; it just needs to be realized that the energy mind is the secret weapon of success in all things, and some WILL needs to be there to start getting familiar with this secret weapon, so we can use it and get real life benefits from doing so. When we do that, we enter into a natural loop where we get better and more precise in the usage of our sixth sense abilities - and that includes the knowledge when NOT to use them, and to put in some hard work instead to get exactly what you want.

I have created a special course which is available free of all charges in order to help facilitate progress in this direction; it is free so that anyone at all can start the process, and "not having any money" should not be a stumbling block to changing that!

The course consists of one exercise a day, so quick and simple that it can be done in 60 seconds or less, because it is much more beneficial to do something every day and consistently, rather than making big efforts every so often or when the stress is high. The exercises are all geared to improving and furthering aspects of the "3 Master Keys To Wealth" and are carefully designed to build upon each other day by day.

I invite you wholeheartedly to take part; even if you have no interest in wealth creation, you might well enjoy the challenge to stretch your mind, enhance your existing abilites of logic, visualization and concentration, as well as the stress relief and steady motivation.

I absolutely believe that people have simply amazing potential, and that it is not as difficult as was previously thought to tap into this potential and to create incremental changes that will bring more fun, more joy, more lightness and more satisfaction to our incarnations. Come along, sign up and, as we say ...

Get cool. Get smart. Get RICH!

Silvia Hartmann is the author and creator of MindMillion.com and offers you freely the course: "The Sixty Second Wealth Boosters."

Empowerment By Design

Of the many questions you ask yourself every day, one question is by far more important than all of the rest put together. It is a powerful question that will bring clarity, motivation and purpose to your whole existence. The question is simply this: "What do I want from life?" Providing a clear, precise answer brings total focus to our lives. But very few people can. Why?

OK, I meet many people through my professional and social lives and what amazes me is that very few of them can answer this question. Most of them answer in abstract terms, such as:

"I want money. Lots of money."
"I want to be happy."
"I want a beautiful house."
"I want a sports car."
"I want to meet someone, fall in love and settle down."
"I DON'T REALLY KNOW."

Number one on our list is FEAR. To know precisely what you want out of life means you have to go and get it. You have to take action, make changes and work hard to manifest your desires into reality. You can't hide behind abstracts any longer. This stark truth and the changes needed can be frightening. But you must see the whole process of getting what you want as enjoyable and rewarding and not as a threat.

Next on our list is HARD WORK. Identifying exactly what you want from life requires quite a bit of effort. And of course, if you want to achieve your goals, you have to work hard by investing time and toil every day. Many people simply aren't prepared to put in a significant effort to get what they want. Are you?

The last reason I'll cover here is MINDSET. The vast majority of people have the mindset that life is something that happens to them. I call this "bumbling", and it is why people cannot provide a precise answer to our question and answer with abstracts instead. Fate, kismet, "If it's meant to be it'll be" are the core beliefs here. But to get what you want, you have to make things happen in your life. This is living by design and it is important to have this core belief if you are to achieve your objectives.

So schedule at least half an hour each day to think about what, exactly, you want from life. Don't let fear be your guide in this. Take the time and write down exact objectives. For example:

• If you want a house, specify the type, the location, the price, features, number of rooms - as much detail as you can.
• If you want a car, what make, what model? What color? Specification?
• If you want to meet someone to start a relationship, how will they look? Blond? Dark? Tall? Personality type? Shy, extrovert, strong?
• When it comes to money, how much do you want? How much will you need to help you get what you want?

Time for me to sign off, but before I go, I'll leave you with this: "Most people are on a journey to nowhere in particular and are shocked when they eventually realize they've arrived there." It's your life. Think about it!

Chris Green is the author of a new book, "Conquering Fear," which provides a powerful program showing you how to conquer fear and attract greater happiness, success and prosperity into your life. You can learn more about this new book here.

Free Will

Do you choose freely? One could say that freewill is an illusion. The point of saying freewill is an illusion is not to annoy you, the reader, but to bring to your attention a very simple notion: that one chooses freely, yes, but from choices predetermined by others.

The human central nervous system (CNS) is a supercomputer, receiving billion of bits of data per second (inputs) and generating a multitude of decisions (outputs) on both the conscious and subconscious levels, e.g. subconscious - heart beat regulation, food digestion, most decisions and conscious - some decisions, actions and words. When someone asserts that freewill is an illusion, they're bringing to the fore the following notions...

Garbage In, Garbage Out.
Our CNS's make decisions based on inputs. These inputs are information provided to us by our environment. These days, our environment (information) is primarily the outputs of other CNS's. That is to say that our lives are highly mediated. And I'm not just talking about watching TV. We humans are rarely in touch with natural environs. We wake in a bed, walk on floors and streets to elevators in offices, use computers, telephones and newspapers to interact with the world. Our CNS's eat the garbage of other CNS's, all the while we're led to believe we generate our own original and proprietary garbage.

So what? Big deal, right? Is there any harm in taking the conveniences of modern life for granted? Is there any harm in not knowing what goes into your body? Let's look at Coca-Cola for example, since it is the most widely consumed consumer beverage on the planet. Is it OK to drink a Coca-Cola even though we do not know its ingredients or how it was made? Our ignorance surely saves us time. However, even in a simple, common and seemingly harmless situation like this, consuming the garbage (info) of others deludes us into choosing sub-optimally. We know or we think we know Coke is water, sugar, caffeine, gas and flavoring, but do we know where these ingredients came from or how they got here? Do we know that the phosphouric acid was mined in South Dakota, and processed at great cost to the environment, such as toxic waste, air pollution and fossil fuel consumption? That the syrup was made in Atlanta from sugar cane, transported from Central America, and water, pumped out of wells it took centuries to fill? That the aluminum was mined in Australia, refined, processed (heated, rolled and cooled) at up to 5 different plants on as many as 3 different continents? That each step in the process of producing, delivering, marketing and selling consumes vast amounts of energy and produces vast amounts of waste which pollutes our skies, rivers, oceans, top soil and bodies such that only a fraction (less than1%) of the energy expended to create the product actually ends up in our bodies? Or that the health effects of regular cola consumption includes diabetes, obesity, osteoporosis, impaired calcification of growing bones in children, immune system impairment, tooth decay, gingivitis, hypertension, mood swings, colon-rectal cancer, uterine, brain and bladder cancer (only for diet drinks containing Aspartame and Saccharin), liver disease, reduced fertility, impairment of fetal brain development (only for Aspartame), severe PMS, etc.? By drinking Coke you are unknowingly killing yourself and the people, animals and plants of this great earth (as a result of all the fossil fuels burned for you to consume this luxury). Thus, although you freely choose to drink Coke, your freewill is an illusion, as no one would consciously kill themselves or another. But YOU do. Every day.

Thus, Garbage In, Garbage Out, refers to the unevaluated information you consume to make your choices. Since most only consciously process a few factors like cost, thirst, effect of sugar/caffeine on energy, the decision on the surface appears as freewill, but in reality is a grand delusion put forth by the few who gain from this farce. P&G, Unilever, Coke, etc. are not your friends. In fact, with the information being withheld from you by them, they are indeed your master.

Those who believe in freewill build their belief on the notion that the conscious mind is involved in every part of a long, complicated and nuanced decision-making process. This is like being a car washer at a Ford factory and claiming, as you were the last person from Ford to touch the car, that you made the car yourself. Are we really that naïve? The reality is that the conscious mind is only involved at the end of this process. Because one chooses to buy Coke instead of Pepsi, means little in the grand scheme of the entire decision making process. Most likely, your consumer choices today were determined months ago by a group of advertising executives at Ogilvy Mather.

One could argue that consumer products companies are filling people's needs. Are they really? Or are they manufacturing not only cheap toxic products, but the demand to consume them? We all have organic needs such as food, shelter, safety, belongingness, love, etc., i.e. we don't have to be told to fill these needs; this code is written into the processor chip, your brain. The desire to consume Coca-Cola however, is an application downloaded to your subconscious in your youth with software upgrades which are delivered with frightening frequency. All other desires, in excess of the ones just mentioned are artificial, put in your head by someone else. Why else would one choose to act against his own health and well-being by eating animal carcasses, smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol, driving lethal, expensive and polluting automobiles? Sure we choose from the options available, but who chooses the options available?

The decision-making process involved in consuming Coke involves the subconscious consideration of several factors. Consciously we know that the best way to alieviate thirst is to drink mineral water. However water represents only a fraction of beverage consumption. Soft-drinks, juices and alcoholic beverages comprise the vast majority. Why? It's more expensive and worse for you. One can argue that taste is an important consideration, but does taste alone account for the multi-billion dollar beverage industry? No. One only look at the paltry sales of powdered Gatorade in comparison to the exact same thing mixed with water. So convenience also plays a role (bottled water is also readily available). Why then do imitation soft drinks, which have similar taste and convenience, not to mention a price which is much less than the name brand, not dominate the market? The answer is branding - Britney Spears and LeBron James to be exact. The subconscious association of certain brands with desirous qualities such as fun, thin, active, exciting, sexy, etc. is what makes the bulk of your decisions for you.

This is the result of a perpetual assault on your subconscious mind by the triumvirate, the consumer products, advertising and media industries. This tight-knit bunch has been profitably at work on your subconscious since the 1940's. Let's take television for example, as it is the most prevalent and effective advertising medium. Humans can only process about 1/3- 2/3 of the information beamed into their brains (the rate of delivery greatly exceeds the human brain's rate of processing, thinking and categorization). The rest of this data doesn't hit your forehead and fall to the floor, it sticks in your brain without you first being able to consciously process it and most importantly, without your permission. You are a mule for the CP/Adv/Media cartel. Your brain is the proverbial bottomless anal cavity for any huckster with a marketing degree to use at his whim. Judging by the amount of name brands in and on the body of the average American at this very moment, one could drive a truck through their poop shoot.

This is not to say the conscious mind is totally disengaged. Your conscious mind must be engaged in the process, as you have to drive to the store, negotiate traffic, choose between various brands and count money, but your definitions of sexy, thin, active, exciting, etc. are formed in your subconscious via the none-too-subtle efforts of a bunch of cynical manipulators on Madison Avenue. Yes, you choose, but you choose from only what they provide you with and towards ends that only they define for you. How's your ass feel?

If there are indeed more choices than those predetermined for us by Madison Avenue, then what are they? What's missing? What are the hidden options? The most obvious option that is always left off the table is the option not to choose. Don't consume. When and how often is that option presented to you?

Who's the Boss?
What was Tony Danza really trying to tell us? Who is the boss of you? Who makes the decisions? Each person possesses two entities within them and each of these entities advocates choices that ensure its survival. The question is, what are these entities and what is their definition of survival? For most, the brain is the henchman of the ego, i.e. the ego calls the shots and employs the brain to do its bidding. The ego is that which gives us identity and separates us from others. The ego, when in charge, runs the brain in very much an autopilot fashion, making unconscious decisions which ensure that the ego survives. The other entity that lives within us is the God-self, that which dissolves distinction amongst us and promotes unity. The God-self however is helpless when the ego has enabled the brain to function on autopilot, which manifests itself in the work-consume-sleep / stimulus-response sequence. In order for the God-self to gain hearing rights, the autopilot must be switched off, proffering an interruption in the stimulus-response sequence by inserting observation, a brief moment to consider the validity of said response such that the sequence now reads Stimulus-Observation-Response, or S-O-R. Observation gives the God-self the opportunity to utilize the brain towards its own ends.

The ends of the ego are to perpetuate the myth that we are all separate organisms with independent and uncorrelated destinies. The ends of the God-self are to dissolve this myth and assert an alternative hypothesis that we are all one. The God-self anchors decisions on love, i.e. which decision most expresses love for all. The ego anchors decisions on fear, i.e. which decision benefits my personal well-being and/or those in my close personal network most and allays my fear that my perceived enemies can harm me.

"Who's the Boss?" refers to which force within you is dominating your decision-making process? Is the ego dominating by enacting autopilot, removing observation from your S-O-R sequence and robbing you of your freewill? Or is the God-self prevailing and allowing you to observe, thereby exercising freewill? When the ego is in charge, the individual receives identity from the decision-making process - "I think therefore I am" or "I am my past, my decisions" or "My autopilot is good." Identity of this sort yields a reactive state, where the true self or God-self is silent and the brain's reactions to its environment (autopilot) becomes the reality or identity. This is like thinking that a telephone is good because you just heard good news from it. The conduit or medium for action, the brain, is not the message, it is the messenger. The question is then, if the brain is only the messenger, who sent the message and what is the identity of this entity? With no O in the S-O-R model, the ego is the messenger. When the O (Observation) exists in the S-O-R model, the God-self is the messenger. It's easy to tell which is sending the message by (1) the conscious realization of a pause or O and (2) the intent of the message to either maximize personal well-being or that of the whole - the whole body, society, country, planet, universe.

If one begins to make decisions from the God-self and truly assert his/her freewill, he/she identifies not with their body, history or decisions, but with everything. Why would one identify with anything less than the fullest expression of his/her being, everything? That would be like asserting that since only the tires of a bicycle meet the road that tires are the single defining characteristic of bicycle travel. Unfortunately, most of the time our consciousness or self-awareness in engaged only when our physical bodies interact with our environment. However, because a set of laws governs the interaction between bodies, does not necessitate that the bodies are entirely separate, as laws govern people with families, govern families within society, govern states within countries, countries amongst the planet, planets amongst a solar system and so forth. Each entity is a truth, but part of a more-whole superceding truth. The same laws which govern tiny spaces, such as those between strings in string theory, govern those between stars. This is not coincidence - our identities, reality and purpose is one. The God-self knows this and seeks to maximize the well-being of one. Interject the O into the S-O-R model and the oneness becomes manifest.

In conclusion, for most, free will is an illusion, as the inputs provided by our environment are the result of filtering and mediation by others, e.g. do you choose to kill yourself by smoking, car travel or stress? How about not choosing to kill yourself? Moreover, reactions to one's environment is not free will. Free will is inputting data from the environment, pausing, asking what's missing and then optimally choosing. Freewill is pure action, from the God-self, not from the ego. Free will exists when the God-self gains the opportunity to optimize the greater good and only when the autopilot has been disengaged such the O exists in the S-O-R model. When was the last time you exercised true free will?

Brandon Peele

"I refuse to accept the idea that the 'isness' of man's present nature makes him morally incapable of reaching up for the eternal 'oughtness' that forever confronts him." —MLK 12/10/64

Three Basics of Manifesting Your Desires

At one point in time, I was posting back and forth with someone from an e-group I was a part of. The lady said that we don't create our own realities ... that negative things happen to positive people, and that we can't possibly create those negative things. She asserted that, if we were not in our "right minds," we might, but we wouldn't do that on a regular basis on purpose (such as a loved one's car accident or heart problems). While she has a point, she is somewhat mistaken.

Why is she mistaken? Because we do indeed create everything ... yes, even the negative. You may be saying right now, "I wouldn't purposefully create my loved one's car accident," or, "I wouldn't purposefully create my loved one's heart problems." And this may be true. But this is the difference: you purposefully create ... but you don't create on purpose all the time. In other words, everything in your world is created by you and has a purpose. But, you don't create everything on purpose. If we all created everything on purpose (or consciously, while being aware of our creation's purpose), then no one would be into the study of manifestation (simply because there would be no need for it). With that said ...

1. Know what you want.
   The sad reality is that most folks DON'T know what they want. If you're not pursuing your dreams, the fact is (not chances are) that you will become one of the statistics adding to the ever-innumberable measure of folks who have lived unfulfilled lives. One point I want to make about this: remember that your peer-groups, friends, family, churches, employers, creditors, et cetera, will always want you to formulate your life according to THEIR wants, not yours. Not everyone has your best interest at heart. And what's more: only YOU can prevent forest fires. (I had to throw that in there ... sorry. But seriously ...) only YOU can fulfill your dreams. No one else is going to. In fact, no one else even has to BELIEVE in your dreams in order for you to fulfill them. First, take a sheet of paper and split it in half lengthwise with a pencil line. In the left-hand column, list everything you DON'T want. In the right-hand column, reinterpret that to what you DO want. (Only focus VERY BRIEFLY on what you DON'T want, as it causes you to emit negative vibes.)
   
   
2. Ask for what you want.
   Once you're clear about your desires, ask for it! Can you imagine sitting in a restaraunt, reading the menu, making your selection, but not telling the waiter what your order is? It's the same way with the Universe. The chances of getting what you want are just about ZIP as long as you don't ask. It's okay to let other folks know ... but only those you trust ... for those you DON'T trust will all-too-often down-play what your desire is. They might say something like, "Oh, that might not be a good thing," or, "Don't you think that's kind of selfish?" I've often heard the phrase, "You're not asking for much, are you!?" And it's usually a very sarcastic tone. So be careful about the people you tell, but always always always ask the Universe.
   
   
3. Expect to receive it.
   It's very important to develop the mindset that you always get what you want, that you always receive that for which you asked. If you embed within your brain a favorable expectation, it will reciprocate your desire. One age-old principle within Wicca, for example, is "Like attracts like." And the fact is: your subconscious mind knows no difference between reality and fantasy. If you tell it that you have "a," then it believes you have, "a," and consequently, IF YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT "A," your subconscious mind will always go to work attracting MORE of "a." Going back to the restaraunt, once you've placed your order, you have created the expectation within your mind that you'll get what you want. If the waiter doesn't bring that meal, you might send it back (as I often do). Why not put it into practice in all areas of your life?

After all of this, if your life isn't serving you the banquet you want and love, just keep sending it back to the kitchen until it does!

Dr. Alan E. Fuller, also known as "Mr. Manifestation," has Coached hundreds one-on-one and in group settings to use universal truths to manifest the lives of their dreams, including reclaiming their radiance and boosting their business income.

Intelligent Optimism Wins In Today's World

The reality of today's world seems to leave little room for optimism. Almost every news story can lead because it does bleed. We hear of critical food shortages in Africa, daily gang deaths on city streets, the profiteering from child pornography, and the climatic disasters prompted by global warming. Health care costs move up faster than a hummingbird in flight and more children now spout profanities as a regular part of speech. With such negativity, no wonder a 2004 U.S. government survey found that depression afflicts one in 10 adults 14 days a month or more.

You probably get depressed just reading the opening paragraph. But wait! There is hope. Not the cock-eyed optimism that became fodder for a song from the musical South Pacific, but rather what psychologists in France are calling "intelligent optimism." Such optimism does not deny the reality of today's world, but rather seeks to LEARN how to fashion a life amid such difficulties. Martin Seligman, the psychologist who had made optimism and happiness his life's work, would agree with the French: optimism can be taught.

Consider these basic steps:

1. Focus on what you can control. Don't get carried away by circumstances you cannot change. You might not change global warming but you can control your energy consumption. You can't stop the downsizing in your company but you can arm yourself with marketable skills.
   
   
2. Reframe the event so that you are not a victim. There is always another way to view a situation. The flight cancellation that caused me to miss (and forfeit) a major engagement was not "planned" to "get" me. It just was. My choice is to figure out what I can do to help the current client and what I will put in the place of the cancelled work.
   
   
3. Think "enough". When we concentrate on what we don't have, we miss all the many things we do have. The truth of the matter is that if you are reading this article, you do have enough computer power. You do have enough intelligence. You do have enough time.
   
   
4. Cultivate optimistic responses. Like a farmer tending a field, optimism will never grow unless it is watered, fed, weeded and nourished. We all have days in which negativity can take over. And, sometimes, that is a WISE response because it keeps us grounded in reality. Just make sure it is reality and not the imagination making extraordinary leaps into conjecture. Weed out that conjecture. Ask what you can DO to see a result that gives you a sense of power. If we don't cultivate such intelligent optimism, be aware of reality and willing to find options, then we might do what Alexander Graham Bell warned. "Stare so long at the closed door we fail to see the one that is opening."
   
   
5. Remember the power of generations. Children of depressed parents are more prone to depression. Children of optimists are more prone to be optimists. What do you choose to pass along? Even if your parents were negative, you can break the cycle with stopping, freeze-framing a situation, listening to the negative self talk, and then literally giving yourself a different message. Yes, this takes practice but you can make it a habit if you work it over time.

Copyright © 2005, McDargh Communications.
Named by Executive Excellence Magazine as one of the top 100 thought leaders in business, Eileen McDargh, CSP, CPAE authored one of the first books on work/life balance. You can find helpful products and services offered by Eileen at Eileen McDargh.com.

Balance Work and Life Like a Pro

"Circumstances are the rulers of the weak; they are but the instruments of the wise." --Samuel Lover

Is your development in career, relationships, or other life categories suffering because you take on too much? See if this sounds like something you might be saying to yourself. "Life just seems to be whizzing by me, and I don't really feel as though I'm spending enough quality time on the things that matter most to me. I worry a lot that I'm going to somehow miss my life and then it will be over."

Life's demands may not slow up any time soon, and learning life balance is an ongoing art. If you think one day you will get it all done, and then you can relax, you are bound to be disappointed. So then how can we create an alternative to the demands of this fast-paced, over-busy society? Women and men alike want to insure that those things of greatest importance to them get the amount of attention they deserve.

While there aren't always simple answers to a quality lifestyle in which balance reigns, here are some basic life management skills that our life balance coaching clients have found extremely helpful:

1. Identify the top four priority categories in your life that you want to balance (i.e., spirituality/personal development, family/relationship, career, personal care/health) and honestly assess how much time you give to each category.

   Often, people have expectations of themselves that are unreasonable given the amount of time they actually have to devote to something. If, for example, you are giving only 50% of your time to a career, it is truly unreasonable to expect yourself to be a superstar in that category. But if kids and family are a top priority to you, giving only 50% to career is probably the most you could give and still have enough time and energy left over.
   
   

2. Write things down! Don't use your brain as your day planner. Doing so increases stress. Consider making five separate life balance "to do" lists. The first four lists correlate with your four top priority life categories (from our example above, one for spirituality/personal development, one for family/relationships, one for career/work and one for personal care/health). Then the fifth list would be for general "to do's" that don't fit into those top four categories.

   From these lists make sure you schedule the important items in your priority categories first, before anything else makes it onto your calendar. As a result you won't have to worry whether you're making time for priorities. Then you can pick and choose from your general to do list which additional activities you may need to, have to or (actually want to), fit in. By the way, don't be afraid to use that good word "no" to any time-robbers you identify!
   
   

3. Practice being in the present moment only. Let's say you're always thinking about your endless pile of work at the office when you're home with the family. Fact is there is absolutely nothing you can do about those things on your desk. Worrying about it takes precious time and attention away from your priorities and increases your feelings of dissatisfaction about life.

   It takes practice and some mental self-control to keep your attention on what's happening in the present moment, but this tip alone will bring huge rewards. When you savor the series of life moments one by one, you will find you don't feel as though you're missing out.

Be patient and loving with yourself, whether you apply the above tips yourself or integrate them into your life through Life Balance Coaching. Always remember, life balance is an ongoing process and it will throw you curve balls from time to time. The key to growth and personal fulfillment is to remember it is a process rather than an event. But with practice, you will find coming back to equilibrium gets quicker & easier. As a result, you will enjoy life more and have a more consistent experience of happiness.

Copyright 2005 Christina Winsey-Rudd
Through testing and intuition, Dr. Christina Winsey-Rudd (The "I Can" Doctor) helps clients make leaps in achievement, health, satisfaction and productivity when they make positive shifts in 3 life areas. Learn more: Feroce Coaching.com. Email.

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Make Peace With The Past And Create A New Future

Suzanne Gold

Everyone comes into life with a purpose. You are a unique expression of the universal life force at the foundation of your being. Spirit guides you from the moment your life begins, and the people and events of your life reflect your soul's journey. No one else ever has or will affect the world as you do. With every act, word or thought, you are adding to All-That-Is.

Your family is your first and most influential bond. What you learn from them colors the the way you see yourself and the world. As a child, your physical helplessness makes you dependent on the people closest to you for survival. Too often those relationships are destructive instead of supportive. The family you join already has tendencies: patterns, beliefs, and attitudes which they expect you to share. Going along gets you what you need, so you adapt to fit in. But when you ignore your instincts, you don't feel right. You create the opposite of what you intend.

The good news is you don't have to be a victim of your upbringing. Although people or events in your past can crush your self-esteem, confuse you, and wreck your relationships, the distortion of your natural instincts can be reversed. Your problems can show you what you don't want and inspire you to go after what you'd rather have, so you can set yourself free to become the person you want to be and building a life you love.

This doesn't necessarily mean getting along better with your relatives. You make peace with the past by treating difficult situations, thoughts, and feelings as opportunities to unravel the knots in your heart and mind that keep you from realizing your dreams. You create a new future by drawing on your innate wisdom to help you overcome obstacles and achieve your goals. When you do your best, you tap into a power that's been within you all along, in even the worst circumstances, even when you weren't aware of it.

No matter what happens, trust that what you go through will enlighten you. Don't be discouraged. The most important thing is dedication to trying new things and learning from your experience. Change doesn't happen overnight it comes little by little, more and more, deepening your ability to love, create, and make a difference personally and in society.

So how do you go about doing this? Here are ten ways to spark change in your life and relationships:

1. SET A NEW COURSE - Find your own preferences
   Your new course is first an internal one, which paves the way for external changes. If you're not satisfied with your life as it is, start by imagining that it can get better. What happens in your life is largely up to you, so take time every day to think about what you want. Be willing to try new things. Pay close attention to ideas and feelings that light you up.Allow yourself to feel excited about your possibilities. Courage is accepting reality as it is and working with it to create what you want. Do what uplifts you. What you dedicate yourself to, you can create.
   
   
2. TRUST YOUR INTUITION - Tap into your inner wisdom
   When you hear the "little voice of wisdom" inside, listen. Within you is a guidance system that makes itself known through your ideas and emotions. Trust it. If something doesn't feel right, it may mean that it's not for you. Wonder about why not, and what you'd like instead. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt. Your instincts lead you to where you need to go at the perfect moment for the best results.

   Life can be confusing, and some people do try to manipulate you in devious ways. Stand your ground. Believe in yourself in the face of criticism. No one else can tell you what you need or want. Don't second-guess yourself. Do what you think is best at the moment.
   
   

3. LOOK FOR A SILVER LINING - Develop a positive attitude
   Spirit underlies everything. You didn't come here to prove your worth or to find a problem and fix it. You came to express your talents and abilities, to realize your dreams. What you experience depends on how you look at it. How you interpret things plays a large part in shaping your behavior and how others treat you. Search for the positive. Focusing on the negative dulls your energy and ability to cope.

   No matter how bad a situation seems, find something in it to appreciate. Ask yourself, what good could come from this? What can I learn here? The answers you get show you what to do next. You already have inside you the resources to make peace with the past and create a new future. You just have to learn how to use them.
   
   

4. TAKE A STEP BACK - Get a bigger picture
   Be on the lookout for destructive habitual patterns. Noticing is the first step to breaking them. Don't fight them, just observe your thoughts and feelings. The deeper you can go, the more you unravel the stuck places in your heart and mind. Bring spirit into the process by inviting metaphysical help in any form that works for you. You don't have to convince anyone of your right to have your life as you want it. Criticism may be only an automatic response based in the critic's own fears. Be influenced by others' opinions only if they inspire you.
   
   
5. WATCH WHAT YOU SAY - Communicate effectively
   Be kind. Tell the truth. Speak carefully. Emphasize the positive. Say good things. Be aware of your effect on others. Don't assume you're being understood-- check it out. Make things right. Know when to shut up or decline to answer. Don't interrupt. Don't give unsolicited advice. Don't gossip.

   When you realize you've made a mistake, apologize. Choose your battles. Why make yourself a target? Watch what you listen to. Allow different points of view. Pay attention not only to what someone says-- try to understand why they're saying it. Don't brag, one-up, pretend you're something you're not, or congratulate yourself too much. Don't think of yourself as better than most. Don't put up with disrespect, manipulation or negative thinking from anyone, including yourself.
   
   

6. DON'T KEEP SCORE - Set your own standards
   Life isn't about success or failure. Although both teach valuable lessons, fulfilling your potential is the essential goal. Adversity can develop strength. If a dream sours, let it go without judgment or remorse. Assume it's no longer relevant, and look for new options. Even a losing battle can be a stepping-stone to a better situation. Accepting change brings peace of mind.
   
   
7. NO VICTIMS, NO VILLAINS - You get exactly what you need to wake up You are not responsible for anyone else, nor are they for you. Relationships are like jigsaw puzzles. All the pieces fit together to create the whole. That means there's no reason for guilt, blame, or shame. Allow things to be as they are. Accept each moment as if you'd chosen it.

   If someone hurts you, look for what you can learn from it. Holding a grudge only drains your energy. Forgiveness doesn't mean that what happened was okay with you; it means releasing the person's power to upset you. You may never forget, but letting go of resentment is more productive. This goes double for forgiving yourself.
   
   

8. MEDITATE AND TREAT YOURSELF WELL - Nurture yourself
   Make time to have fun and enjoy yourself. Take walks in nature. Spend time alone. Exercise, rest and eat when you need to, and drink lots of water. Something as simple as a warm bath or good stretch can do wonders in improving your perspective. Laugh. Let yourself dream your fondest dreams. Celebrate your successes, big and small.

   Meditation calms your conscious thinking mind, and helps you access your inner wisdom. Counting your breaths is the basic form, or you can silently repeat a soothing word or phrase like "peace" or "well-being." When your mind wanders, and it will, just bring your focus back and start over. Even ten minutes a day can make a difference.
   
   

9. GET OUTSIDE HELP - See beyond your blind spots
   Get counseling, either by yourself or with family members. It helps to talk about your feelings, no matter how embarrassing, strange or awful they seem to you. Find someone you trust and feel compatible with, and be willing to pour your heart out. An objective outsider can help you clear up confusion and set your creative energy free.

   Examine both sides of any issue. Don't follow advice blindly, but do explore ideas that make sense to you to see what happens. Join a group of people with similar interests or circumstances to yours to reassure yourself that you're not alone. Try art, sports, music, or dance for fun and/or therapy. Don't expect The Answer, but serve yourself a variety of ideas to take or leave as you like.
   
   

10. MOVE ON - Graduate to living fully
    Respect your own boundaries. Your first commitment should be to yourself and to learning as much as possible from what happens to you. Do what you can, and do your best, but not at your own expense. Only when you're at peace with yourself can you make a real contribution to anyone. Live your own truth, be honorable, and intend the best for everyone, including yourself.

Trying to change someone is futile, no matter how much you care, or how badly you think they need it. You have no control over what anyone else feels or thinks. Working things through can be healing when there's mutual respect, but if you feel hopeless, scapegoated, threatened or frantic, retreat may be the only appropriate choice, at least for the moment. You may need to leave the room briefly, or something as extreme as ending the relationship or moving away. But your changes alter the context of the relationship, so be open to the possibility that the "problem" person may come to treat you differently. If so, you may want to renew the relationship, but don't rush into it until you're confident that things have changed. To leave your mark on future generations, pass along what you learn.

I wish you healing, faith and the courage to make your dreams come true.

Copyright © 2005 Suzanne Gold
Suzanne Gold (BA, MA, Psychology) is a life counselor, spiritual coach, teacher, and co-author of 'Being Yourself: Twenty-Four Ways to See the Light.' She has worked in private practice, residential psychiatric and drug treatment centers, and teaches college seminars as well as meditation and personal growth workshops for individuals, families and small groups. She co-founded a self-help group for women in public housing, and an environmental grantmaking fund. Herself a survivor of a dysfunctional family, Suzanne works with individuals, couples, families, and small groups in person or by telephone. For more information, email, go to Suzanne Gold.com, or call 415-924-0850.

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Parents Provide the Biggest Role in Their Child's Success

Jeannine Virtue

In a world where we, as adults, are stressed to the maximum, it makes sense that our children are also living very demanding lives. With most jobs requiring a college degree, the pressure to succeed is more prominent than ever. Children with such disabilities as ADD or ADHD may feel particularly bombarded by stress and anxiety.

Even children who do not suffer from neurological challenges feel the everyday pressure from parents, teachers and peers. Combine these pressures with any disadvantage and you may end up with a child who is in complete distress. Anxious children are often overly tense or uptight. Some may seek a lot of reassurance, and their worries may interfere with activities. Because anxious children may also be quiet, compliant and eager to please, their difficulties may be missed. Parents should be alert to the signs of severe anxiety, such as change in appetite, sleep pattern or overall disposition, so they can intervene early to prevent complications. It is important not to discount a child's fears.

Studies suggest that you may notice more anxiety when a child must make transitions, such as a new teacher or a new school. To avoid adding extra stress during these trying times, you may consider introducing the child to his/her new surroundings, slowly (i.e., meeting the teacher/seeing the school before the year begins). Ask your child if he/she has any concerns or questions and address each one appropriately.

Other major causes of stress are tests and exams. Research has shown that providing students with tools and strategies that build both emotional skills and healthy physical habits when preparing for a test can help them overcome test anxiety and the associated symptoms, while improving their ability to prepare for and perform on critical testing. It s important to help students identify what they are feeling and give them tools that will help them learn to manage emotions such as anxiety, self-doubt, anger or frustration. The proper physical habits enable students to have enough energy and stamina for their brain to do its job of thinking and analyzing for a sustained period of time. A lot of times before we have to do something like take a test, much of the anxiety we feel is a build-up from negative what-if thoughts. What if I fail, what if I can t remember anything, or what if I run out of time. Try writing a what-if question that is positive and can help you take the big deal out of the situation and begin to see things in a different way. Examples of these kinds of questions are, What if I can remember more than I think I can? What if I can feel calmer than I think I can?

If you feel that your child may be experiencing a higher stress level than expected, you may want to try a few simple suggestions. First, school counselors can be very helpful in a student s ability to adjust. They can relieve some of the anxiety by helping the student choose classes that he/she is prepared for. Counselors can also answer any questions the child may have. Ask your child if he/she is experiencing any problem at school that they need help with (for example, if a child is being bullied he be extremely anxious about going to school at all). If your child is still having trouble adjusting, you may want to seek medical assistance from a psychologist or psychiatrist.

All-in-all, the process of adjusting begins at home. Parents need to ensure that their children are eating a well-balanced diet, getting plenty of sleep and that there is an open line of communication. Make sure that your child can come to you at the onset of a problem, before it escalates. Most importantly, do not expect more than your child is capable of. Each student learns at different pace and it can be very detrimental to expect your child to keep up with someone else (like a sibling, for example).

We can all work together to provide our children with the proper resources to become happy, well-rounded adults.

Jeannine Virtue is a freelance journalist who specializes in health topics. Visit the Attention Deficit Disorder Help Center for information about treating Attention Deficit Disorder without the use of Ritalin or other ADHD medications.

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