Print this issue of Cultivate Life!             Editor: Peter Shepherd

Cultivate Life!

June 29th, 2009

Quotes of the Week

"Whether you be man or woman, you will never do anything in this world without courage. It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor." --James Lane Allen

"There are only four great questions in life: What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for? What is worth dying for? The answer to all of them is the same: Only Love." --Johnny Depp, as Don Juan de Marco

"A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is ultimately to be at peace with himself." --Abraham Maslow (mistakenly attributed last week to Glenn Close... beg pardon!)

Freedom of the Mind

"Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms, to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." --Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

As our nation moves into its 233rd year of independence from Great Britain, we find ourselves, in many ways, more enslaved than ever before. Exterior forces such as more government regulation and requirements, an adherence to a world standard which, by its own accord negates our Declaration of Independence, and most importantly the abdication of our own inner personal freedoms carve a path of confinement rather than liberty.

More and more, we self-impose limitations on our worth, our value, our integrity. We believe what we see around us and assume the illusion is real. We do daily battle with the very spirit inside us and shackle our potential in chains of obligation and expectations. Worst of all, we imprison our creativity by denying ourselves freedom of possibility and fantastic possibility. As we notice these precious freedoms falling prey to our thoughts and fears, we understand the importance of the freedom of our minds.

Freedom of Attitude
As Frankl pointed out in his masterpiece, Man's Search for Meaning, the one true freedom remains the ability to choose one's attitude in any given situation. Many present-day spiritual leaders remind us of our choice of perspective and stress the importance our outlook holds over the outcome of many day-to-day decisions and behaviors. Mother Theresa taught us to "see God" in every person we meet. When we shift our attitudes, and hence our automatic observations, from seeing problems to finding the good and God in everyone and everything we encounter, we reach levels of happiness and positive energy which bring us peace of mind.

Freedom of Potential
As a young girl, my parents blessed me with their encouragement and matter-of-fact approach to my achievements. Never doubtful of my capabilities, they sought out new things for me to try, new books to read and new ideas to consider. While taking Cello lessons didn't result in anything more than an exploration in string instruments, my parents allowed me to express my potential. As we grow older we rely on ourselves to break free from the limitations of self-doubt and entertain the full symphony of our own potential. No one can express your potential but you! Your vision, your drive, your confidence work in concert with your spirit to express the crescendo of your abilities in harmonious orchestration by living a life worthy of all your talents. You are the conductor holding the baton of purpose and directing your life.

Freedom to grow
An adolescent told me once that his pet alligator would never outgrow the fish tank he called home. He said that alligators only grow to the size of their container. While I don't know if this holds true or not, it presents an interesting spiritual consideration. When you examine the expanse of the container of your spirit, you gauge your ability to change and grow from the allowance of space permitted yourself. If you limit your spiritual environment to a small community of like minded individuals, this may feed your soul, but leave you hungry for the nutrients only bountiful gardens can provide. When you sow the seeds of possibility and hunger for more knowledge, information and wisdom, you expand the harvest of your life to include a wide variety of endeavors and experiences.

Freedom to love
So often, we consider ourselves unworthy of love. In humble self-deprecation, we hear ourselves deny our lovability, or become embarrassed when someone acknowledges how much we mean to them. As Gerald Jampolsky pointed out, "Love is the total absence of fear." When we live in fear, we live not only outside of love, but inside the confines of stagnation. In giving ourselves the freedom to love - to give, to receive, and truly accept love - we fill our lives with the warmth that only sincere expressions of emotion bring.

Louise Hay teaches us that we are the only thinker in our minds. You alone are responsible for your thoughts - whether they empower you or destroy your spirit. The freedom of your mind knows no boundary but what you draw around you. When we use the power of attitude to view life in a more positive way, we find we free ourselves from the doubt of our potential; we allow ourselves to continue to learn and grown in magnificent ways and to experience love to our fullest and best imagination!

Taking a quiet sideways glance at life, Marlene Buffa offers insight through her words from experiences. A student of new-thought teachings, Marlene finds practical spirituality around every corner and seeks wisdom through observation of life's inter-relationships. Sometimes playful, sometimes poignant, always thought-provoking, her writing inspires readers in meaningful ways. You can visit her website at WordsofMind.com and write to her by email.

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June 29th issue of "No Limits" Magazine Online

• Feature: Michael Michalko, 100 Monkeys
• Vince Chiles, Crisis Resolution
• Guy Finley, Develop the Power of Patience
• Phoebe Chongchau, Are You Buried Beneath Rubbish?
• Dr Michael G. Holt, Things to Know About Meditation
• Sharon Elaine, Affirmations for a New Day
• Joe Love, You Are What You Believe
• Wider Screenings, When Harry Divorced Sally

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Remembering Past Lifetimes - Part Two

By Carolyn Evers

When one remembers their past lifetimes, they remember unconditional love. This is because the soul can reconnect those spaces between lifetimes where they were given the opportunity to review the previous life. It is in that space that one is given unconditional love and it is subconsciously remembered.

The soul decides when the individual is ready to remember the past, however the soul can script the adventure and sometimes we do not pay attention to the clues that it sends. One can also trace this journey through the higher mind as it reconnects to the monad, but many have not connected to their higher mind in this manner and must rely upon being prompted. Therefore it becomes important to recognize the promptings.

Déjà vu
Déjà vu seems to be a common experience among people, even though it is not completely understood. We can be introduced to a new individual, travel to a place where we haven't been before, or see or touch an object and we feel as if we have done this before. There is something familiar about it.

Pay attention to these experiences as I believe these are important clues. Past life memories, especially when they start, are not experienced like your current memories. If you think about yesterday, you can usually trace your actions through a string of events, but here memories of past lifetimes come in fragments at first and you have to assemble them and piece them together. It might take several times visiting a new location that holds some fascination for you before you get the message that your soul wants you to remember.

In these cases, follow the emotions that you are feeling. Question yourself as to how you are feeling about the stimuli that come to your senses. These emotions will be very subtle and it takes time to ferret out the attitudes and belief systems and experiences behind this moment.

To me, these moments of déjà vu are like traffic lights. You can blithely go through a red light and not notice the intersection, or you can stop at the light and check out the details. Dig deeper in your mind. Try and understand how you feel when you see these signs. Revisit the moment. It is a trigger, or message sent to you. If you are not ready, it will be gone and perhaps never to come back again in that form.

Challenging Your Belief System
It is imperative that you be open to the possibility that the skill of remembering your past is available to you. You must be willing to explore the possibility that you have lived before and that a part of you is eternal. I am not saying that you must believe in reincarnation, but you must be open to the possibility that the process of reincarnation might exist.

Dreams
The source and reasons for dreams can be complex. They can be the result of eating something that has disagreed with you or images that are dredged up during the sleep state because you have burdened yourself with anxieties that you suppressed during the day.

But dreaming can also be an interdimensional doorway to a vast source of knowledge that is fed to you through your subconscious or the higher mind or soul entity. As you are falling asleep, you can direct your mind to go to a source to answer your questions. As you approach the sleep state, you move into theta. This is the state of your creativity where your brain slows down.

We can also approach the theta state, or certainly the alpha state while doing jobs that are repetitious or when you are daydreaming and your mind disengages from your activity. As an example of what I mean, you have probably driven to a repeated destination and you sort of daydream and find yourself there without consciously remembering getting there. There was a part of you driving the car, but there was another part of you that was engaged in some creative thought. There are tapes available to train yourself to use this state for creativity in a more conscious manner.

Our Elder Brothers are a group who help in guiding humanity. They are also known as the Elohim. They are able to influence you during the dream state with spiritual knowledge important to your evolution. Dreams can also be a form of prophesy for the future, or a state where you are given suggestions to help solve your daily problems.

I have experienced dreams in all of these situations. I have also relived events from past lifetimes by simply asking questions of the universe as I was drifting off to sleep. Of course it is important to write down the impressions and messages as soon as you wake up as the impressions and answers are soon lost upon awakening because you move to the beta state or lower alpha state quickly.

Know that you are having a dream of a past lifetime when you see the characters dressed in clothing from the past. When you see an individual dressed thusly without a defined face, know that this represents yourself in that lifetime.

I was involved in a situation that was perplexing to me. I asked the reasons behind the events as I was drifting off to sleep and then I had my dream explaining the present situation. The setting was in France and the events concerned a well known historical event. How exciting it was when I made a trip to France and found the veracity of the events documented in several places.

But the real gift was to understand how we come together with others to work on our soul objectives even though they might be difficult. I also learned how to heal some real sorrow I was carrying at the time and to understand compassion and that we are all playing a magnificent part in our dance of life.

Visiting Places of Former Lifetimes
Perhaps the most interesting situation is to visit a place where you know you have not been in this lifetime but it has a real attraction for you. There might be a pull inside of you to go to Italy for instance, or France or The Island of Maui. If you go there, you find a familiarity about the place. One of two things might happen. If you meditate you could start to remember some threads of past lifetimes there. Seeing some of the buildings if they are still there is a real trigger to the past.

Or, if you have moved along the spiritual path far enough and if you trust enough, the individual of that former lifetime might even come and speak to you and communicate the events of that lifetime with you. Be patient as all the information might not come at one time so it might take several visits to get a more complete picture.

This happened to me. When I visited the place of a former lifetime, the entity that I was in the past communicated with me in the present. As we travelled together she allowed me to see visions of that past lifetime. As you can imagine, this was a pivotal lifetime for my current understanding of who I am and was very valuable to me.

What I might suggest is that if there is a very strong pull to go somewhere, then sit with this and meditate. Find some pictures of places there and try and see yourself in those places. If you feel you are on a path of some past experiences, it might be best to go with someone who is willing to experience with you and not go with a group where this is simply a sightseeing venture. You need to have the time to examine your feelings and coax the pictures of the past to come to you. Finding the past takes introspection and time. This can't always be rushed. Yet I have also found that the past can be triggered and come full blown in a vision where you are guided through sight and sound as you go through a doorway to the past.

Emotion
I can't emphasize strongly enough the power of emotion. There is a place in your body that holds feelings from the past such as sensations of excitement, disgust, fear, or love. This is one of the subtle bodies which resides right next to the physical body and is the emotional body. The negative emotions are stuck energy from the past and are waiting for you to explore and heal and release.

Sometimes you may not recognize the emotion, just that a moment in the present, or a memory of a past event or individual holds a fascination for you that you cannot explain. Sometimes it could even be a smell. I remember one time I met someone and I picked up the scent of medicine that reminded me of the Victorian Period. It was a fleeting sensation of him being a physician and me being a part of his life. I knew this man on a very deep personal level, but did not feel the necessity to explore this lifetime as I felt it didn't hold an attraction for me. But as I reflect upon this, it probably would have been advisable to explore something there as it could have held a gift for me. Perhaps the gift would have been an understanding of some secret part of me that might still be hidden from me even now.

The Familiar
Clothes from past history, customs, and stories of the people, the land, anything that holds fascination for you should be reviewed and explored in your quiet moments. You might consider the process of meditating on them.

Instant Dislike
Many triggers present themselves in the instant dislike of people, places or things. They can also be a doorway to past life memories. Include in that the sense of smell as a trigger also. The scent of flowers, foods, and medicine are just some of the many things that can be a reminder of other times. I believe that these can ignite a part of the brain that is connected to past life recall.

Sending Out a Request to the Universe
Edgar Cayce said that thoughts are things. He also said that mind is the builder. What we focus our interest and intent upon will be attracted into our lives because those statements describe very real principles. If you send out a request that is true to your heart and you hold all others harmless, then the request becomes irresistible to the universe because we are creators.

This is a soul quality that we inherited from our Father in Heaven. God gave us a command at our creation to go forth and experience and to help those along the way and then come back to the creative forces with our knowledge and growth.

Connecting With Your Higher Mind
There is a part of us that is directing our present experiences. The best way I could describe this would be to compare this part of us to a data bank. All the good experiences that we have explored in past lifetimes have accumulated in the reservoir of our higher mind.

This intelligence is very mindful of our mission and remembers the promises we made before entering this lifetime because it was a part of the planning. When we came into our present body we forgot this decision-making process because of this dimension, as time is linear here and where we came from this is not the case. We also forget because it was the design of this dimension. If we forgot our heritage and who we are, would we come to love our God unconditionally? Our higher mind will work very closely with us if we accept its guidance and work closely with it.

Our higher mind has no need to sleep since it does not have a body to protect and nurture and can work to set up events in our lives. It can influence people and events to come to our attention if we need a spiritual nudge.

If you work with some of these suggestions, you will probably start to remember and explore some of your past lifetimes. This is important work because you will start to see an overview of who you are and the missions you came to Earth to complete.

This is helpful also from the standpoint that you can then start to clear stuck energy from your emotional subtle body. As I said earlier, this comes from the trauma accumulated from past lifetimes.

This stuck energy must be cleared before the physical body can move to the next higher dimension as the energetic structure of the cells change and it is necessary that this work be completed first, but more of this later.

Next Month:
What is your mission? What did you come to complete this time?

This article is the second of a 40-part series, ending in Autumn 2012. The series will then be widely released in Dec 2012 as a freely available ebook, so as many people as possible will understand how they can participate in the Ascension - the transformation of the human race to become guided by and one with Unconditional Love in nature and being.

Carolyn Evers is a messenger for the spiritual hierarchy. She has written six books and a course, Journey To The Other Side. Carolyn believes that there is a connection between spirituality and science, and she endeavors to incorporate scientific research along with what she receives from spirit. For an introduction to Carolyn and her journey to becoming an extraordinary voice for the Masters on the other side of the veil that isolates humanity, download her free eBook "For the Sake of Love." Her work can be found at CarolynEvers.com and you can email Carolyn here. She has two radio shows with BBS Radio, The Message and The Messenger. Call in for healings and readings from the Akashic Records USA Toll Free 1-877-876-5227, Canada Toll Free 1-888-815-9756. Dr. Richard Presser works closely with Carolyn and is the author of The Coming Golden Age and How to Prepare for it.

Download the latest information from Carolyn:
Messages from Jeshua and Mother Mary for the June 2009 solstice PDF.

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The Power of Our Thoughts

It has been estimated that the human mind processes 60,000 thoughts a day. Although this is an amazing statistic, I would love to know how many of those 60,000 thoughts actually move us forward in our lives and how many hold us back. I would venture to say that a majority of them do much more to hinder us than to help us.

I coach people who are going through life and career transitions. My clients are the courageous people who have intentionally decided to step outside their comfort zone and change something in their life that is not working as well as they would like. It can be daunting work because they are letting go of the familiar to grab on to something new, which is yet unknown to them.

There can be many obstacles along the path of making a life change. Some are relatively easy to navigate such as clarifying your specific goals and putting action steps into place to make sure you achieve what you want. Others can be more difficult.

One of the biggest obstacles my clients face during a transition is self-defeating thoughts. You know the ones I mean - the thoughts that remind us that we are not smart enough, we don't work hard enough, we should be more successful, and that we're being irresponsible, thoughtless, and/or selfish. These are the thoughts that are so often preceded by a "should", and keep us focused on what we think is the acceptable and right thing to be doing, versus what it is that we truly want to be doing.

These thoughts can be incredibly powerful and you may have noticed that the closer you move towards making a change in your life, the louder they get. If you give up, or back down, the voices appear to lessen in intensity. That is why many people throw in the towel before reaching their goal. They can't tolerate the fear, discomfort, and anxiety that these thoughts produce. Unfortunately, that leaves them living a life that is less than ideal and always wondering what would have happened if....

So, what can we do to lessen the hold these thoughts have on our lives? The first step is to become aware of just how prevalent these kinds of thoughts are in our minds. We have all been very conditioned to negative self-talk. It has become second nature to us, so it will take some time for us to actually recognize how often we do judge and criticize ourselves.

A good place to start is to notice the language you use when you talk about yourself or to yourself. How often do you use negative or judgmental words or how often is there harshness to your tone? Is this really truly how you feel about yourself? See how it feels to introduce kinder words and a softer tone into your language.

Be gentle with yourself as you do this exercise. Try not to fall into the easy trap of becoming more critical of yourself for being judgmental.

The next thing to pay attention to is how much validity you give your thoughts. In reality, thoughts are just thoughts. It is only when we start to believe them and attach meaning to them that we get into trouble. So, when you notice yourself having a self-critical thought, challenge its validity. How do we know that it is the honest truth? Just because we have been conditioned to believe it does not make it true.

Susan is a very talented artist. She always dreamed about making her art her life work, but she was raised with the beliefs that art was a hobby and to be a responsible person, one had to have a "real" job. Susan worked in the "real" world for years, doing her art on the side. Although she was good at her job, she never stopped thinking about being a full time artist. Yet, her beliefs about what it meant to be responsible kept holding her back from going for her dream.

After battling her thoughts about what she thought she "should" do and what she knew she wanted to do, Susan finally took a leap of faith to follow her heart. She quit her job, moved her family to a quiet place in the country and began painting full time. She and her family love the slower paced life style of the country, and Susan has been very successful in selling her paintings in art shows throughout the area. She now describes herself as a happy, productive, and responsible member of her community.

What are some of your tightly held beliefs that you might want to challenge? Whose voice is telling you that you are not okay? If you can identify the source, give the statement back to that person and replace it with a statement of your own that speaks from your heart and that validates who you know yourself to be.

Lastly, I have found it sometimes helpful to use a little trick to help lessen the intensity of your thoughts when you find them just too overwhelming. What I do is visualize a radio. When the voices get too loud, I visualize myself turning down the volume dial. A friend of mine visualizes her thoughts as balloons; and depending on her mood, she will either pop the balloons or just let them fly away.

It doesn't really matter what your gimmick is. The point is to do something that reminds you that you are separate from your thoughts. Remember, thoughts only have the power we give them. We can't control what thoughts enter our minds, but we can control whether we let them dictate our life, or whether we just let them go. We only have one go at this life. Wouldn't it be more fun to live it the way we know in our hearts feels right for us, instead of how everyone else thinks we should?

Copyright © 2009 Mary Ann Bailey. All rights reserved.
Mary Ann Bailey, MC, is a life coach who specializes in helping professional women successfully navigate the challenges of midlife career transitions. Visit her website at to read more of her articles and to receive a free copy of "How to Make the Changes that Will Move Your Life Forward."

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Under Stress? Express Yourself!

Have you ever noticed that under stress, we often communicate less effectively? The "under stress, we regress" syndrome kicks in and sometimes we might as well be speaking a foreign language. When our stress levels are heightened, even normally clear communication can get short circuited.

Stressful times are usually the most important times to communicate with clarity, consciousness and intention. Whether you're at work or at home, focusing on how, when and where you communicate can make a noticeable difference in the reactions, connections and cooperation you get from others. Here are four tips for staying on the path to glitch-free communication:

1. Agree on your communication ground rules. Who do you communicate with frequently in your professional or personal lives? Identify these people and consider designing your communication with them. In other words, how do you want to handle conflict or tension between you? What's the atmosphere you want to create in the relationship? What are other "rules" that you want to consciously agree on? This strategy can be used effectively in one on one relationships and with teams or groups.

2. Stay off the horsemen. Dr. John Gottman, author and researcher, describes the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" in communication: defensiveness, blame/criticism, stonewalling and contempt. Whenever we mount one of these "horses", we've ceased to listen or truly communicate. I encourage you to notice the role these four horses play in your life. When confronted with a sensitive issue, do you tend to get defensive? When you're upset or angry, do you stonewall? How effective is your and others' communication at that point?

3. If the answer doesn't have energy, it's the wrong answer. Whether you're communicating with yourself, one other person or a whole group, if the answer you come up with doesn't heighten the energy, make people feel better or open a new host of possibilities, there's a good chance it' s the wrong answer. A right answer - even if it might require tough actions-has energy, hope and a sense of potential.

4. If you're confused, so is everyone else. Whether you're in a business relationship or a personal one, if you're feeling unclear about what you're communicating or the best way to communicate it, the recipients of your communication will feel as confused as you do. It's important to get clear about the message you intend to convey. Be a transparent communicator. People can't discern the intentions, the goal or even the history behind your communication unless you tell them. Consider erring on the side of "over- communicating" and observe the results.

Copyright © 2009 Claudette Rowley
Claudette Rowley, coach and author, helps professionals identify and pursue their true purpose and calling in life. Contact her today for a complimentary consultation at 781-316-1923 or by email. Sign up for her free newsletter "Insights for the Savvy" at www.metavoice.org.

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A Time for Everything

There is a time for everything and everything has its time...

Recently, while thinking about all things which occur in our lives, I realized many are considered "good" or "bad," "right" or "wrong." As I analyzed the meanings of each, I readily understood there is neither good nor bad; right nor wrong. Instead, there are so many different shades of grey.

Depending on the circumstances "good" can be "bad," and "bad" can be "good." At other times "right" can be "wrong" and "wrong" can be "right.

Frequently we say, "Why do I have to go through this difficult time?" Nevertheless, there is a time for everything and everything has its time. Based on this idea, I began a word play and the following phrases flowed through my fingers...

I shared part of this idea on my blog and a friend told me, "Rob, this is just like what it says in The Bible!"

"A time to live, a time to die..." seemed to ring a bell and quick search on the internet led me to Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8

A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate;
A time for war, and a time for peace...

What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.

As I read, I was faced with a truth so old, so tested and so evident. Knowledge is universal. The knowledge which comes from others and from me is simply the knowledge of the universe which flows through us. What, you may ask, is the relevance of all of this and why should it matter?

As I wrote the lines for "Time for Everything," I realized the same train of thought could go on forever. We can take any emotion, thought or event and by phrasing it together with its opposite, we find there is, in fact, a time for everything.

The next time you wonder why you are going through a difficult time; remember this is the time for that particular thought, emotion or event. More importantly, it is happening at precisely the right time. The question we should ask is: "What can I learn from this situation?" rather than "Why do I have to go through this situation?" Be it "good" or "bad," "right" or "wrong," there is a time for everything and everything has its time.

Copyright © 2009 Rob McBride. All Rights Reserved
Rob McBride is an author and speaker who motivates, inspires and trains people. His keynotes, seminars and workshops enhance effectiveness and increase corporate productivity with concrete, dynamic tools which enable people to take control of their professional direction and destiny. He writes the Lunar Letter monthly with each full moon. His books include: A Special Gift and Little by Little We Go Far.

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The Seven Myths About Manifesting Abundance

We've heard it all a million times: the various secrets of how to manifest lives of abundance. Every "Guru" has their own angle; a singular approach to manifesting that we've all tried. And yet, in spite of the countless Gurus offering books, programs, products, etc that espouse the "secret to manifesting" we are in the biggest Global economic and well-being crisis since the Great Depression. What does that say? That somehow we, as brilliant and intelligent human beings have failed the "secrets" that have been taught to us? I know this is not true.

And yet, as a Sustainable Success Coach, I have countless talented individuals come to me saying that there must be something seriously wrong with them because they have diligently applied the principles of affirmations, positive thinking, visualization and The Law of Attraction and yet they just can't get the "truth in manifesting" to work for them. They come to me believing that they haven't found a way to fix their character flaws or their lower selves in order to "allow" in abundance.

The truth is that everyone already has within them the ability to manifest lives of Sustainable Success. Sustainable Success is lasting and fulfilling abundance. "Sustainable Success" is created through applying an equation and not any one singular thing. There are three key factors that form the basis of the equation:

1. Defining what Abundance and Success is for you. Not adopting some outside opinion or value that isn't consistent with the core of who you are, but identifying the definition that is representative of your own values.

2. Applying ALL aspects of yourself in the manifestation process - that means accepting the TOTALITY of who you inherently are as a human being. Each of us is a perfect blend of ingredients that when used together create the perfect recipe for success. If we only use one or a few of the ingredients in the recipe, the dish doesn't turn out successfully.

3. Understanding that you cannot have wealth without well-being and well-being without wealth. One without the other will serve to prevent sustainability of any success that you may initially create for yourself.

Question: "How do you define success?"

Some people's answers:

• "Earning a living doing what I love doing, whether it be making a film, writing a script or riding a skateboard."

• "Doing what you love and doing it well."

• "I define a successful man as a happy man. A happy man has a family that he loves and work that he enjoys."

• "Happiness! If you are happy, then you must be a success!"

• "Being happy in every area of life: business, family, and philanthropy."

The following seven mistruths will keep you from being able to accomplish the second key to achieving Sustainable Success:

1. Do what you love and the money will follow.
2. Follow your heart and not your head.
3. Lead with your head and not your heart.
4. There is only now, don't think about the past because it is already gone or about the future because it hasn't arrived yet.
5. One must transcend the lower self in order to achieve happiness and success.
6. Letting go of ego is key to manifesting success.
7. "Negative" thoughts are our enemy.

It is in the acceptance of ourselves as inherently whole and managing a balanced interplay between all components of ourselves that successfully achieves sustainable abundance. Balancing inspiration with perspiration; emotion with reason; being in the now while keeping an eye to the future and having the wisdom to reflect on the past; dreaming up a dream and developing and implementing a plan to make that dream a reality; deciding what wealth and well-being is to you and knowing that wealth is not sustainable or fulfilling without well-being and well-being isn't possible without wealth; all equals utilizing the sum of all parts of yourself for the achievement of long-term successful and fulfilling outcomes.

In the end, YOU, as you are right now, are the Success equation. It is ready to be unleashed and directed for the Sustainable Success that is yours to have.

Copyright © 2009, Linda Zander. All rights reserved.
Linda Zander is an accomplished entrepreneur, sustainable success coach and professional speaker. She is a natural visionary and intuitive who is dedicated to bringing her personal and business wisdom to the lives of others. Her Quantum Shift Process (QSP) provides guaranteed results in the midst of any and every life circumstance. To learn more about working with Linda visit her website Linda Zander.com.

Perfection in the Imperfect

What a wake up call nature provided for my heart today. After several days of my children bickering, acting out, pushing my buttons, triggering my inner child and other assorted adolescent antics I was deep in crazed parent mode. I completely stepped out of every positive parenting practice that I have not only embraced but taught.

I was analyzing, correcting, disciplining, attempting to fix, blaming, getting overwhelmed and feeling rather inadequate as a parent. Our family meetings that worked so well when our children were younger have been far more challenging now that they are 16 and 11. After three of them in one week, things were a bit calmer but still very tense.

With the kids off to school I sat in meditation. I was able to gain a great deal of clarity and released my emotions. Still feeling in a bit of a funk I decided what I needed was a walk in nature, some exercise and a good sweat in the steam room at our gym. Our gym is on an amazing piece of property, rolling hills, rows of Banyan Trees, and a beautiful beachfront lake.

As soon as I stepped foot on the beach the wind began to caress my skin. This always feels like God's breath soothing my soul. Then, several dragonflies and butterflies danced around my feet. In a place of appreciation and surrender I prayed for guidance. A prayer that I say often, God show me how to be a better parent. As I said this prayer I was guided to stand beneath one of the tallest banyan trees.

The strength and the beauty of the tree permeated my being. Standing deeply rooted to the earth with my spine absorbing the energy of this magnificent tree I felt my life force renew. I was in total awe and reverence of this miraculous creation. I then gazed to the side and noticed several of the branches were broken, tattered and tangled. But instead of depleting the beauty of the tree these imperfections are what gave the tree character. I then realized the same was true of my children.

It is their "imperfections" that make them uniquely who they are. God would never change the imperfections of a tree so why as I parent would I try to "fix" what is just part of who my children are. I realized that if I did fix any of these unique characteristics I would be taking away a part of their journey in self discovery, interrupting their path in becoming who they are meant to be. This would be far more detrimental than any of the character traits they may have.

As this awareness awakened in my heart, I gazed at the ground. Shimmering in the morning light was a beautiful iridescent snail shell. The beauty of this shell was beyond any I had ever seen. When I picked it up I noticed it too was broken. The broken shell did not deter from the magnificence of the gift I had found. I realized too that my brokenness and the broken places in my children we were also so beautiful because they were part of who we are.

Tears of appreciation gently flowed from my eyes. For my eyes could now see myself and children in a whole new light. The light were there is perfection in the imperfect, a space where I honor all of our individual journeys, an understanding that there is nothing to fix only ways to gain awareness, a place allowing them to learn their lessons through the mistakes and successes they create and finally a knowing that nothing is more important than the love that we share as a family.

What a gift my children are in my life, for they are always showing me where I am still out of alignment and how I can continue to grow. I deeply appreciate sharing this lifetime with them. Today think about the gifts that are held in the imperfection.

Copyright © 2009 Debbie Milam
Debbie Milam is the author of Stop Fighting and Start Connecting. Visit her website for more books and resources to help you create a life of peace, joy, and success for you and your children. Sign-up for her newsletter at BestYouCanBe.org and receive your special report 'Creating Peace Within Yourself and Your Family.'

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