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Cultivate Life!

July 4th, 2006

Awakening to Values, Intentions, and Destiny

Conditioned values are sufficient for a successful material life; however, they cannot guide your intention to be free. Often we declare a desire to change with great gusto and conviction, but may find that within a few days or weeks that enthusiasm (root: God within) to change has almost completely dissipated. Why is this so? How can we make great choices and sustain permanent change?

The core of the issue is that, although our intentions are good, the way in which we use our values to direct those intentions is subject to both individual and collective conditioning; hence, the purest objectives can be misdirected by ego, and we end up essentially back at the beginning where we started.

Intention is classically defined as the aim or anticipated outcome of an action. Your intention to awaken to authentic joy, however, will be completely ineffective without a supportive decision-making process. Though you mean well, your values and the way in which they are arranged can't support or manifest your best intentions. To sustain the conditions for awakening to authentic joy, your decision-making structures–your values–must be capable of influencing and guiding a pure intention to awaken.

When our values and the way in which we use them are the domain of ego, lasting transformation is difficult, if not impossible. Values are core psychological structures by which all major decisions are made and, as such, they greatly influence your world. Values that are selected and organized by the ego are sufficient for a successful material life, but completely inadequate to support an awakening to authentic joy. By looking at your current life situations you can uncover proof of what you value and of what is important to you–you can determine what your current values and intentions are by simply looking at the tangible evidence for them in your life.

Many who consider themselves genuine seekers on the path spend significantly more time engaged in activities that support the ego than they do in support of their awakening to authentic joy. What the ego calls "a balanced life" is often one of mediocrity and compromise when viewed from an awakened perspective; you may realize that your values are arranged by the ego to suit its ends.

Conditioned values cannot direct pure intentions, because ego-values and awakened intentions are drawn to parallel outcomes. For example, if your values are focused on a productive career path, and you also have an intention to awaken to authentic joy–it will be impossible for you to manifest the latter without first being clear that your values are capable of directing that intention.

The most humble of wishes would be to awaken to authentic joy, also known as freedom. In my book, "Power and Grace - The Four Insights of Authentic Joy" (details below) we will look at how this potential exists within your free will and how, when you are clear about your values and their arrangement, you can create a direct link between your intentions and a destiny of authentic joy. This method of consciously aligning your values can only deliver you to a destiny of authentic joy. All other outcomes you wish to manifest with the power of intention may occur, but their rewards will only be temporary and they will not free you from unnecessary suffering.

To stabilize the conditions for your pure intentions and to yield changes that "stick," you must reclaim consciousness that will otherwise be consumed in a continuous struggle with ego-based outcomes. Liberation from the effects of hand-me-down values is the outcome when those values are rearranged into one conscious group. When the primary value of this single hierarchy supports and guides your intention to awaken to authentic joy, that will be the outcome. This sustains the conditions for awakening by reclaiming your awareness that would ordinarily be lost in on-going attempts to resolve the outcomes of ego-based choices. These consequences always appear in the form of good or bad karma.

The primary value you select for this single hierarchy always represents your interest in awakening to authentic joy marginally more important than other interests in your life. Making a decision-an awakened choice-based on such a conscious primary principle will produce an awakened effect. This new arrangement also supports all other necessary aspects of living because your subsequent values can include money, security, family, love, creativity, learning, etc.

An awakened person's life is centered on a clear, single hierarchy of values, and when asked, she could instantly identify her primary value. She may, however, have some difficulty determining what her second and third values are, as these will vary from one major decision to the next. Her primary value however, will be consistent with awakening to authentic joy, and significant choices made in her day-to-day life will give consistent and tangible proof of this arrangement.

To create the conditions for awakening to authentic joy, you can align the outcome with that intention by placing a primary value, such as freedom (from suffering), fulfillment, or potential, over and above all other values on a single hierarchy.

By making all major life decisions according to a primary value, such as freedom, the intended outcome will be realized regardless of the circumstances surrounding the decision. You will discover that awakening to authentic joy is not dependent on options or outcomes, but on how consistently your intentions to live such a life are directed by a conscious primary value.

Eventually, it becomes clear that you are "choiceless", and you will approach change, transformation, and the evolution of your own consciousness with unbending confidence, because you now know that your intention to awaken to joy is always going to be your outcome.

Conditioning, on the other hand, segregates values into distinct and concurrent groups - related to career, home, family, friends, hobbies, etc. The ego does this in a futile attempt to manipulate reality. For example: A working mother would have different groups of values for decisions about her job than she would for decisions about the welfare of her children. The struggle you experience with major life decisions and their subsequent outcomes is the result of the conflict between all of these groups of ego-guiding principles. It is also important to understand that not only does each group have its own divergent agenda, but, at the time of deciding, each group will also have its own presiding primary value.

This arrangement ensures that the ego remains in firm control of your life experience. You regularly "put off" big decisions, vacillate between your options, "run scenarios," or seek the opinions of others. Then, having made a decision, you often "change your mind." Frequently you will "shop around" for opinions until you hear one that you think is the "right" one. At other times you are unable, or unwilling to follow through on the choices you made because you realize they were not "the best ones" you could have made.

Because most of us are not aware of the existence of these multiple groups of values, we experience great anguish and confusion in times of making important choices. "Not knowing what to do" is a clear manifestation that the ego is entrenched in values. An awakened person can make major life decisions in a matter of seconds with no worries or regrets and without fear that a decision may need to be "revised."

Stressing over choices is a reflection of conditioning as it drains your attention with compelling and conflicting alternatives. The ego controls your decision-making process by offering you the most important conditioned values from these multiple and conflicting groups, and then it lets you "duke" it out! The point of this internal struggle is to deplete your energy so that the ego can continue to manipulate you with "short-term solutions and quick fixes." In this way, the ego easily orchestrates your actions-and your fate-as you try in vain to "weigh all the options," "consider all the alternatives," or look to the past for patterns or to the future with tarot cards!

Whatever the original intention may have been, it is now lost, the outcome is conditioned, and because of this, lasting changes never seem to "stick." Your future looks just like your past, filled with conditioned outcomes you have to "overcome." The continued existence of these multiple groups of values precludes you from discovering and expressing your full potential by following through on any wholesome resolutions you may have.

As you awaken to authentic joy, it will become apparent how the first big decision you ever made independently of your parents was based on the existence of multiple groups of values; the result of a conditioned intention; and a product of the ego. You may also realize that you have essentially been doing this ever since.

Real-life example: After a carefully planned career path, Josh received an incredible offer for his dream job. He had also recently gotten engaged. He and his fiancée, Diane, loved their first apartment together, the city they lived in, and being close to her family. However, they were both torn about what was best for their relationship, and his career goals. Josh decided to accept the offer because he arranged to spend four days per week at his work location and three-day weekends at home. He sincerely thought his first value was love, but by the evidence of this choice it was actually career.

After about six months of flying back and forth between Seattle and New York City, both his work and love life were beginning to suffer. When four more months passed they both acknowledged that things were just not working out and decided to separate. One year later, Josh realized he was lonely in Seattle and that maybe his primary value was indeed love. Now he was considering returning to New York. When he mentioned this to Diane, she admitted that she not longer trusted him, because it was obvious that he could not trust himself to make sound decisions.

'Awakening to Values, Intentions, and Destiny' was adapted from the soon-to-be-published book 'Power and Grace - An Adventure in Awakened Living' by Irish author Mick Quinn. A native of Ireland, Mick has lectured to thousands nationwide and has received press attention from The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal. He studied Buddhism, Christianity and the evolution of consciousness since 1991. Please visit Mick Quinn.com for his teaching schedule, details of the Four Insights Seminars, a synopsis of the book and ordering details.

A Life Discovered

Wallace invites you to email him with questions about your personal life and the challenges you face. If your question is selected Wallace will reply by publishing his advice in a future edition of this ezine. Coach Yourself to Success from past replies when you Read Wallace Huey's Answers to Life's Problems.

Receive Free Confidential Life Coaching: If you would like email support for your personal problems from Wallace and do not want them published in this ezine, you can order Unfold Your Wings and Watch Life Take Off - the self-help book that supports his life coaching. It will give you access to confidential life coaching by email.

How Can I Help My Son Who I Believe Has Given Up On Life?

My son has really given up on life. I am so worried about him. He is 24 and has a lot of issues about his past, for example he was bullied all through his school life. I took him out of school a couple of times to teach him myself, as he was so miserable. Now he can't hold onto a job for more than five minutes, he thinks he's totally useless, has one friend who's a bit younger than him, who puts up with his constant anger at life and can't make friends or talk to people.

I just don't know what to do. The only reason he says he doesn't kill himself is because it would hurt us, his family, otherwise he can't think of anything he'd like to do better. I love my son. He's one of five children, the second youngest, and I and all the rest of the family, i.e. his siblings and father, really don't know what to do.

I encourage you to refrain from feeling or visualizing that your son has given up on life. What we visualize tends to happen - so visualize your son as happy and fulfilled. If you and your family all constantly visualize your son as strong and healthy in body, mind and spirit, this will give him the best chance of recovery. It is vital that you continue to believe in your son even if he does not believe in himself.

It seems to me that your son has problems that go deeper than bullying at school. It may be that these are problems of low self-esteem, self-hatred and an inability to be creative and communicate constructively. I suspect that it was these difficulties that attracted the bullying rather than were the result of the bullying.

I strongly recommend that you suggest your son has a visit to a psychotherapist. If you can, make the first visit a casual affair. Ask if your son would like you to accompany him. Make the first visit more a chat and a shared cup of tea than a formal therapeutic session. Your son may feel very threatened by the prospect of such a visit, so he needs gentle guidance.

If he is unwilling to go then I suggest you work at establishing a stronger bond of trust with your son. This bond of trust will have been eroded by the high level of anger in the relationship - anger that he is directing at everything and everyone. To nurture this trust you need to get beyond this anger. To do this I suggest that your husband takes your son on an adventure holiday - two weeks minimum if you can manage it. Choose a holiday that your son would like and that has a high level of physical exercise. This will help dissipate the anger while on the holiday and allow his father an opportunity to establish a closer relationship - a relationship not with the anger but with the person behind the anger. With a sensitive approach from his father, your son may decide to open up and a degree of trust may form. But don't force anything, if it is going to happen let it happen naturally.

If you are unable to afford such a holiday then I suggest inviting your son on a series of adventure weekends, perhaps walking and camping in the mountains. The principle here is to give your son something physically challenging that he would like to do into which he can pitch his unresolved anger. Then, as his anger dissipates, you need to be ready to be by his side to listen to him, if he wants to open up and talk.

If your son doesn't like physical challenges, see if he will take an interest in self expression through art. I'd love to see him paint, or produce in clay, images of what he is feeling inside. If he prefers this to the adventure holiday then go with art - but always be ready to listen to your son. There are art therapists who may be willing to work with your son in this way, or if you prefer set a place where he can paint or work with clay at home.

If you can deepen the trust in your relationship, then your son may be more willing to listen to you when you suggest seeking professional help from a psychotherapist. You may feel this difficult relationship with your son is tearing your family apart. This is the time the family needs to pull together. As a family you need to visualize the best for your son, and support him with unconditional love, in the way I suggest. In time, as the relationship with your son improves, your whole family will grow together and find a shared sense unity, love and understanding inclusive of your son.

I feel your family need an anchor or reference point to guide your actions. You may find it helpful to order my book Unfold Your Wings and Watch Life Take Off and have its presence in your home. If different family members pick it up and read it they will find in its pages the healing path that leads from anger and despair to joy and happiness. In my past I too was like your son and the book charts my journey from angry and distressed young man, who like your son was suicidal, to peaceful and serene adult, with guidelines that empower others to make the same journey.

I am holding you all in my thoughts and prayers.

How Can I Go Beyond Destructive Repeat Behavior in My Relationships?

When I get emotionally hurt and feel betrayed, I numb myself out from feeling and go into survivor mode. I lost my parents as a teenager, my mother to suicide and my father due to a heart attack, I have 3 divorces with men who have all betrayed me and I forgave them all - my son recently committed suicide at 31 on February 28, 2006.

I am still grieving and now in a new relationship and concerned that I am not good in relationships, I worked on myself for the last three years to heal and accept my sorrows. I realized I was a rescuer and changed my ways of thinking. I find that recently after a disagreement and possible betrayal of my current relationship, I just numbed myself out and it took about a day and a half to care again. I resorted to my survivor mode of not caring and thinking I could just make it okay alone. I have unfolded my wings to fly so-to-speak in what my calling is in music and teaching and my faith in God is huge. I am never alone for he is within me and my savior is Jesus Christ.

Here are my questions to you: Are my reactions abnormal? And what can I do to deal with the issues and not go into this mode?

Your email very clearly demonstrates the power of hidden patterns and beliefs carried over into adulthood from early childhood experiences. I wouldn't use the word abnormal to describe your behavior, because many of us unwittingly repeat old outmoded patterns from childhood, but I would certainly call it unhealthy.

I encourage you to write about your memories of what happened and what it felt like, when your mother committed suicide and then do the same for the time when your father died of a heart attack. Try and really unearth the hidden feelings and experiences. If doing this brings up painful emotions, so much the better. Then travel back in time to each of your failed relationships and the suicide of your son and do the same exercise.

See if you can discover repeating patterns in these experiences that date from the time your mother and father died. Unearth buried beliefs that have formed as a result of these early experiences with your parents and through your writing see if you can discover how these hidden beliefs from childhood have been shaping your adult experiences and relationships. For example you may uncover the belief that when you enter into a relationship it is not secure because the person will only leave. (This is how a child might rationalize the loss of a parent). If you have this belief and other related beliefs become aware of them by writing them down and perhaps sharing them with a friend.

Once you become conscious of your hidden beliefs and how they are determining the course of your relationships in adult life, you need to create a space between who you really are (a strong and powerful adult) and these childhood beliefs. A child has no way of rationalizing or understanding loss, and so creates simple beliefs that she can use to explain what is happening. You need no longer be that hurt and wounded child with these wayward beliefs. You can choose to have mature adult beliefs about relationships, death and loss. You need to create these new more mature beliefs and write them down after a period of reflection. Then if you are in a relationship and you find these old patterns and emotions arising, you need to catch that these are old outmoded reactions, identify the childhood beliefs that underlie them, and switch to your new adult beliefs.

Once you can successfully create a space between you and your old childhood beliefs and instead adopt new adult beliefs about relationships, you will have more mature relationships in all areas of your life. If you want further help with this I suggest doing Peter Shepherd's Communication and Relationships Course to give you an adults understanding and belief system about relationships. If you would like to do a workshop with other people to address these issues I suggest www.landmarkeducation.com. This is a worldwide organization that runs weekend courses to help people discover and go beyond destructive patterns they are repeating in their lives.

By committing yourself to working through the buried emotional pain and trauma, discovering your hidden childhood beliefs about relationships, and replacing them with new adult beliefs, you will be laying the seeds for a new joyful beginning, with successful relationships in all areas of your life.

Get Your Priorities Straight

So you say you want your life to be different, better, more fulfilling? Who doesn't? How many times have you heard yourself say, "I wish I had more time for myself?" "This stress is killing me." "I have to start to exercise and get in better shape." "I feel like my kids are getting the short end of the stick." "My husband/boyfriend says that my side of the bed looks more like a command center than a place to relax." "I feel like I'm moving at warp speed and I still can't get through my to do list." "I want my life to be more fun." "I need to be more playful." Sound familiar?

But as a career woman who is balancing work and family, a single mom who is trying to fill in all the gaps or a woman who's simply tired of feeling like she's living a treadmill existence, you have a choice–you can reduce your stress, regain your sanity and create a life you love. However, this means slowing down to reevaluate your values and priorities and making considered choices about how you're going to invest your time and energy.

The French philosopher Rene Descartes said, "I think therefore I am." Our modern day version of this has become "I do therefore I am." So many of us live by the mantras "I have to keep up," "I am what I do," "I have to push myself," "I have to prove my worth," "I have to keep going." While many of you thought that you left peer pressure back in the halls of high school, I have a surprise for you... It's still very much in operation in our adult lives.

Most of us have one clear priority: get through the day. Sure, no one's going to deny the importance of that, but it's simply not enough. Most of us sleep walk through our lives. We rarely stop long enough to consider how we spend our time and energy. Yet, without determining whether your priorities match your picture of yourself and your values, you will continually be out of synch with yourself.

No matter how frantic life gets, no matter how much frenzy seems to be present, the truly successful people are able to rise above the pandemonium and maintain their perspective. They can do this because they know what's important. Their values are their compass–they keep them on course, regardless of the chaos and confusion of life. These people maintain a vision of what truly matters, what their life is about and what they want it to be.

Think of a typical day and a typical week. As you reflect on an average day, make a list of how you spend your time. Ask yourself, how much time do you devote to career, family, health, yourself, spiritual life, home, social life, finances, friendships, etc? Make a list in order of what gets the most to the least amount of your time. How you spend your time will make known your priorities.

Now ask yourself the question, what matters? What have you found yourself saying to the world over and over throughout your life? Now please write in order of importance what you value, what you consider most important in your life. Is it your family, your children, your health, your religious or spiritual practices? Your friendships, your social life?

Now compare your lists. If you're like most people you may be surprised to discover that there's a discrepancy between what you consider most important in your life and how you spend your time. As you read over your list, how do you feel? What did you learn about yourself? Were you surprised by anything? Now ask yourself, how are these values reflected in your current life? Which values are you neglecting? In what ways would your life be different if you honored these values? Are there any adjustments you need to make so that your life more closely reflects your values? If your outer life doesn't match what you cherish, it's great that you now know that. Awareness is the first step in making changes in your life.

Now that you have a clearer picture of what you consider important, there's a good probability that you'll begin to think about what you need to change, in order to have your values expressed more visibly in your everyday life. Is there anything you need to add to your life? Are there activities or commitments you need to eliminate? These kinds of questions will not only help you to understand yourself on a deeper level, but ultimately to refocus your life around what's truly meaningful. As strange as this may seem, it's actually less important to understand the meaning of life itself than it is to understand the meaning of your life.

Stephanie is an acclaimed speaker and author. She speaks from experience. Stephanie is the go to expert for those who seek to create quality driven lives. Stephanie is America's foremost life balance expert. Her new CD program, 30 Days to Sanity contains powerful, innovative, practical tools to reduce stress, balance work and family and make time for what truly matters. Stephanie is the author of 'Chicken Soup for the Soul's Life Lessons for Women: 7 Essential Ingredients for a Balanced Life,' 'If Not Now, When? Reclaiming Ourselves at Midlife' and 'Life Coaching for Parents: Six Weeks to Sanity.' For more information and a free Sanity Saving Solution visit 30 Days to Sanity.com.

How to Develop Creative Thinking

In my opinion, creativity is the real genius. Intelligent children learn fast, and apply their knowledge in everyday life situations. But - inventing something new, creating something original, that is real genius. I always admire originality, whether it is original artwork, an original story, or an invention that can make life easier for many people.

How can we teach our children creative thinking? How can we teach them the habit of thinking "outside the box"? Here are a few easy and fun suggestions for activities that will go a long way toward developing this very valuable skill of creative thinking in your child. Slight adjustments may be needed for your child's age and skill.

• Play the following game: one person starts telling a story. He stops after a few sentences, and the next player continues his story. There is no limit to the number of players. It is a great idea to record the story, so that it can be distributed to the participants later, for the enjoyment of everyone. This is a very fun activity that trains your child (and you too, if you are participating) to think creatively.

• Prepare a series of pictures. The pictures can be taken from a book, from several books, from newspapers - or even downloaded from the Internet and printed on a home printer. Put the pictures next to each other, and let your child tell a story, using those pictures. You can take turns, your child and you, developing the story based on the pictures. This game can have several variations: put the pictures face down on the table, then turn them over one by one, to continue the story. Gradually increase the speed of turning the pictures over, so that the story teller has to come up with the story continuation faster and faster. When you are done with a set of pictures, just change the order, and see if your child can come up with a different story, based on the new order.

• Prepare a series of words written on cards. Play the same game - tell a story using these words. You can use the same variations as above.

• Play a piece of classical music, and let your child tell you what kind of mood does this music create, what kind of story does this music tell?

• Play a piece of music, and have your child paint a picture that shows the mood this music creates, or tells the story this music is telling.

• When your child comes up with a story in one of the previous activities, ask your child to change the story in order to change the mood. For example, if the story is sad - can he change the story to be happy? Can he change it to be a mystery? Can he change it to be a comedy, or a funny story?

• When reading a book with your child, always ask open ended and thought provoking questions like: How would you handle this situation? What could the character do differently? How do you think did the character feel?

• Print several pictures on paper. (You can use cardboard if you'd like to make the pieces more durable). Cut each picture into 9 parts (or more, if you want to make this game more complex). Now let your child put the pictures back together. After putting all pieces back together into the original pictures, you can mix the pieces, so that your child can create new pictures, combining pieces from different pictures. Start with two pictures mixed together, and advance to more and more pictures. Start with bigger pieces, cutting the picture into 4 parts only, and advance to smaller and smaller pieces, cutting the picture into more and more pieces. Also, use more and more complicated pictures, that include more details.

• Play "pretend" games with your child often, or use "role playing" with your child. When you read a story, ask your child to play the role of his favorite character.

• When your child has friends visiting, have them come up with a short play and perform it for the parents. This is always a fun activity for the children, and it also keeps them very busy.

• Encourage your child to paint a picture of an object. Then have him paint it in different colors. For example, ask your child to paint or draw a bunch of fruit. Then have him change the colors of all the fruit. Have a red banana, yellow apple and so forth.

• Choose a day a week, and have all family members do their routine activities in a different way. For example, brush their teeth in a different way than usual. Take a different way to school. Sing instead of talking. Get up earlier, and and play a new game. Walk backwards... Be creative, and encourage your child to be creative too.

• Don't ever discourage your child from using his imagination. If your child tells an imaginary story, always praise him and acknowledge the creativity. If your child comes up with an original answer to a question, even if the answer is incorrect, acknowledge creative thinking.

• Keep your eyes open for any signs of creativity and originality. Always praise and encourage these traits.

Imagine how successful your child can be with a brilliant mind,Êlightning-fast learning skills, an accurate, lasting memory, creativity and problem solving skills of a genius. Learn how to "Develop Your Child's Genius" right now!

Dreams and Dream Interpretation

The stuff that dreams are made of is called etheric energy. It has often been called the astral light because this energy can be seen glowing with radiance in the air.

In your spirit body, which you inhabit at night during your out-of-body travels, your subconscious mind can create "thought forms" quickly and easily. A thought form is a projection of etheric energy into the seemingly solid form of etheric matter.

Thought forms can be furniture, rooms, scenery, even people or animals as long as your consciousness maintains enough attention to animate them. When you move on to other scenes or awaken, these quickly-created thought forms will dissipate back into etheric energy over a period of hours or days.

Lucid dreaming occurs when you become aware, in your physical consciousness, that you are dreaming. This means that the conscious, physical mind has become engaged in the dream state. These vivid dreams are therefore easily recalled when you awaken in your physical body. A lucid dream is then recalled, from the physical mind's point of view, as being more vivid than a regular dream. It actually isn't more vivid than other dreams are, it's just that the physical mind's recollection of the dream is more vivid.

The deepest levels of sleep typically occur in the first two or three hours of the night. During deep sleep your spirit body can travel to higher states of consciousness, sometimes merging with your soul family as a nighttime reunion of like-minds. You are also able to meet the spirits of friends and family who have passed on from physical life. The spirit realms are their home and you locate them simply by focusing upon their personality, then projecting your consciousness to that location. This thought-powered form of travel has been traditionally called astral projection.

In the lighter states of sleep, emotional issues are often worked through and resolved in the dream state. The key to understanding dreams is that they are composed of symbols, rather than actual people, places and objects. When you focus on the emotion that the dream evoked, then you can unravel how the symbols in the dream played out the emotional tension that you were working through.

For example, when frightening things happen in a dream, they are not literally happening. Instead, they are a playing-out of the fear issue that the dream represents and an opportunity to examine such a fear.

You can develop dream recall by keeping a dream diary beside your bed. When you awaken each morning, before you do anything else at all, write your dreams down in as much detail as you can. With practice, you will bring the lessons of your dreams closer into your daily waking awareness.

The night is a time for your spirit to travel to other realms of consciousness and for self-healing to occur. While your physical body sleeps and recharges for another day of waking consciousness, your spirit body soars through other realms within your complete range of consciousness.

You can gain great insights into the events of your physical life when you tell yourself, each night before bed, that you will remember what you learned while you were out of your body and cruising the other realms of consciousness. Happy travels!

Owen Waters is editor and cofounder of Infinite Being LLC. He promotes a philosophy of spiritual empowerment through inner connection to the source of your ultimate potential. For more Spiritual Words of Empowerment subscribe to his free weekly newsletter. For the full picture, read Owen's book, The Shift: The Revolution in Human Consciousness.

Emotional Healing Through Your Dreams

Everyone dreams and those dreams range from happy, storybook romances to our upmost fears and anxieties. If it's important to take responsibility for our actions in our "awake" life, then we also have to accept responsibility for our dreams, for they represent our inner thoughts and programming.

This article is about emotional resolution through dreams. It will not cover prophetic or animal totem dreams. These deserve articles of their own.

In our dreams, our actions/reactions are the vehicle our emotions use to convey a message, so it's important we listen to them. Allow yourself to feel the emotions coming through, for they are raw expressions of your inner being and this is where you'll find your answers.

Emotional resolution dreams reflect a past or present situation that you hold an emotional attachment to. Your mind is simply trying to process the information and your emotions play a vital role in resolving the conflict. If there's one phrase to remember in dream work, it's, your emotions drive the message. Remember that and your dreams will start to make more sense. Coming to terms with the emotional attachment will bring healing.

You dream in symbols that will best express your emotional attachment to a situation. These symbols are different for everyone. What one person views as relaxing and comforting, another may find stressful and harmful. You have to ask yourself what emotion you personally attach to each symbol, because that's where the key is. The symbol is merely a tool you've been given to work with.

Dreams are personal information sent by the subconscious mind. We live in the world we create for ourselves, so this holds true for our dream world as well. But in the dream state, we are open to receive insight we usually miss during the day, because we're too busy to stop and listen. Ironically, our dream time is our wake up call. We can either roll over and hit snooze or wake up to the message(s) coming through.

The most difficult dreams to deal with are what we consider nightmares. If you start to see your night terrors for what they are, unexpressed or unresolved emotions, they can be seen in a new light. Instead of blaming some outside force, take responsiblity and heal the parts of yourself that are demanding attention. Do some shadow work and figure it out. Once you resolve the issue (emotional attachment) the nightmares will stop.

Individuals that come into your dreams are sometimes aspects of yourself trying to get your attention. Look to the emotion you carry toward that person. Treat locations the same way. What is the emotional reaction to the location of your dream? This could also reflect a certain time period in your life. Look at these things for clues.

Dreams that come to you for emotional resolution take place in the 4th & 5th dimensions. Since these are so closely related to the 3rd dimension, they give us an opportunity to "play out" our unresolved issues in an environment we are comfortable with. But with our emotions coming along for the ride, it could make that environment suddenly uncomfortable.

In dreams, the message stems from "your" issues, even if other individuals are involved in the dream sequence. Every aspect of your dream is "you," trying to work out "your" issues.

With dream work, it's all about emotional responses. What you don't resolve during your awake hours, your mind will process and relive during dream time. This is another way to release and heal situations you are currently holding on to. By paying attention to the message trying to come through, you will be able to quickly work through any unresolved issues and take another step forward in life.

Emotional resolution dreams are a personal, for your eyes only moment in time. Think of it as a time where you can work with your guides one on one, without your ego. Raw emotional release and healing will be the result. Use that to your advantage.

Sweet dreams.......

Copyright © 2006 Angel Shadow
My ancestry is Irish and Cherokee Indian and I have a gypsy spirit that refuses to be fenced in. I am definitely not a conformist. Much of my life was spent under the control of others. My childhood was full of abuse and neglect, which lead me to my volunteer abuse work. It also lead to anxiety and panic attacks, which I suffered from for years, so I'm dedicated to helping others in that area as well. I have now found my own personal freedom, based on my own personal truth and nothing could be more liberating. Find out more at Writing.com and MySpace.com.

Shamanic Healing

Shamanism is humanity's oldest and most enduring spiritual practice. There is evidence of the relationship with Spirit from the very origins of the human race, expressed through ceremony as a way of maintaining a union with Creation. Placing the flowers on the graves of our Neanderthal ancestors or paintings upon cave walls to totem animal's knowledge, all this is a reflection of our own desire for personal and conscious union with the All-That-Is and of our spiritual quest as being an innate human drive.

Inherent with the Shamanic worldview is the understanding of each person's own unique and autonomous path to reach their own purpose and truth. Being free of dogma and doctrine and organized spiritual institutions, shamanism enable and supports us to find and walk upon our own destiny. This recognition of the individual's right and responsibility of ones own awakening and fulfillment is but one of the very specific elements of Shamanism which establishes it as a viable means of meeting today's desire of an honest and authentic approach to self realization and ones integration in society.

Shamanism as a whole is humanity's spiritual inheritance and contribution to the collective unconscious of our species and therefore it provides a firm and proven system of knowledge regarding the relationship between Nature, Cosmos and Humanity.

Shamanism worldwide gives us a compendium of ceremonies, dances, songs, approaches to spirit, meditations and rituals not only to keep the connection between our soul and All-That-Is open but to develop and grow.

Shamanic healing is a multiple connection between ourselves, the shaman, nature, cosmos and spirit. It always aims to integrate our whole being within our universe. Many diseases and an feeling of being unwell are due to an separated connection between the soul of the individum and it’s spiritual home, a disconnection between ones inner and outer worlds.

Shamanism does not dwell on past events: there is only a vast, awesome, ever-moving, great moment of now, where there is no separate past, present or future. It is the aim of the shaman to help a person to connect to this inner integration.

Methods, tools, medicines and symbology will vary from culture to culture but all forms of shamanism intend to connect people to their own spiritual path. Most cultures use the following shamanic techniques:

Finding power animal(s): Getting in touch with our animal connections and finding the power of the animal kingdom which support us in our lives struggle.

Soul retrieval: We are often alienated from our spiritual source and have a strong feeling of a loss of soul, which is often linked to traumatic events in our life. Through a soul retrieval ceremony we can re-unite with our soul and feel a very strong unification with our Spirit and Being.

Shamanic extraction: The old cultures believed in malevolent spirits who were out to harm us and found their way into our body. Through Shamanic extraction we can change malevolent images and concepts we harbour and we are able to leave our being and consciousness and we feel lighter and united with our total being.

Shamanic divination: Learning to look into the past, present and future from different dimension, a way to become a seer.

Shamanic healing journey: We will go on a shamanic journey to find all the healing power within us to overcome obstacles and clear our own pathway.

Shamanic drumming: Scientific research has proven that shamanic drumming relaxes the cardio vascular and activates the lymph system. Sound and rhythm also connect with our Soul and Spirit. The drumming is also a way to help us to find clarity and an inner strength in our path.

Parable

The abbot of a once famous Buddhist monastery that had fallen into decline was deeply troubled. Monks were lax in their practice, novices were leaving and lay supporters deserting to other centers. He traveled far to a sage and recounted his tale of woe, of how much he desired to transform his monastery to the flourishing haven it had been in days of yore. The sage looked him in the eye and said, "The reason your monastery has languished is that the Buddha is living among you in disguise, and you have not honored Him."

The abbot hurried back, his mind in turmoil. The Selfless One was at his monastery! Who could He be? Brother Hua?...No, he was full of sloth. Brother Po?...No, he was too dull. But then the Tathagata was in disguise. What better disguise than sloth or dull- wittedness? He called his monks to him and revealed the sage's words. They, too, were taken aback and looked at each other with suspicion and awe. Which one of them was the Chosen One? The disguise was perfect. Not knowing who He was they took to treating everyone with the respect due to a Buddha. Their faces started shining with an inner radiance that attracted novices and then lay supporters. In no time at all the monastery far surpassed its previous glory.

On Work

Then a ploughman said, "Speak to us of Work." And the Master answered, saying:

You work that you may keep pace with the earth and the soul of the earth. For to be idle is to become a stranger unto the seasons, and to step out of life's procession, that marches in majesty and proud submission towards the infinite. When you work, you are a flute through whose heart the whispering of the hours turns to music.

Which of you would be a reed, dumb and silent, when all else sings together in unison? Always you have been told that work is a curse and labor a misfortune. But I say to you that when you work you fulfill a part of earth's furthest dream, assigned to you when that dream was born. And in keeping yourself with labor you are in truth loving life, and to love life through labor is to be intimate with life's inmost secret. But if you in your pain call birth an affliction and the support of the flesh a curse written upon your brow, then I answer that naught but the sweat of your brow shall wash away that which is written.

You have been told also life is darkness, and in your weariness you echo what was said by the weary. And I say that life is indeed darkness save when there is urge, and all urge is blind save when there is knowledge, and all knowledge is vain save when there is work, and all work is empty save when there is love; and when you work with love you bind yourself to yourself, and to one another, and to God.

And what is it to work with love? It is to weave the cloth with threads drawn from your heart, even as if your beloved were to wear that cloth. It is to build a house with affection, even as if your beloved were to dwell in that house. It is to sow seeds with tenderness and reap the harvest with joy, even as if your beloved were to eat the fruit. It is to charge all things you fashion with a breath of your own spirit, and to know that all the blessed dead are standing about you and watching.

Often have I heard you say, as if speaking in sleep, "he who works in marble, and finds the shape of his own soul in the stone, is a nobler than he who ploughs the soil. And he who seizes the rainbow to lay it on a cloth in the likeness of man, is more than he who makes the sandals for our feet."

But I say, not in sleep but in the over-wakefulness of noontide, that the wind speaks not more sweetly to the giant oaks than to the least of all the blades of grass; and he alone is great who turns the voice of the wind into a song made sweeter by his own loving.

Work is love made visible. And if you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work and sit at the gate of the temple and take alms of those who work with joy. For if you bake bread with indifference, you bake a bitter bread that feeds but half man's hunger. And if you grudge the crushing of the grapes, your grudge distils a poison in the wine. And if you sing though as angels, and love not the singing, you muffle man's ears to the voices of the day and the voices of the night.

Life Was Created Against Impossible Odds

Let us start our search for happiness from the very beginning. That is from the beginning of the universe. The most plausible and widely accepted theory of the creation of the universe is the 'Big Bang' theory of creation. According to it, the universe is created from an explosion in the super condensed material and consequent expansion of material. However, even if all the conditions for the creation of the universe were right at the beginning, many factors had to be right for the consequent formation of the universe. For example:

Our universe is expanding like a polka dotted balloon which is being blown out. Each dot (representing a star or a galaxy) on it is distancing itself from each other. Now, if the rate of expansion of the newly created universe had differed even very minutely from what it were actually, there would have been no universe. A little slower and the cosmos would have collapsed back, a little faster and the cosmic material would have long ago completely dispersed.

If the density of the universe were a little more, the universe would not be expanding but, due to the force of attraction of atomic particles, contracting, ultimately collapsing. If the initial density were a little bit less, then the universe would be expanding far rapidly than now and no stars and no galaxies would ever have formed.

Both the mass and the volume of a proton are incomparably larger than those of an electron; but strangely enough, these two particles have equal (though opposite) electrical charges. Because of this fact atoms are electrically neutral. If the atom was not neutral electrically, each atom would repel the other and the entire universe would explode.

The four fundamental forces in the nature, in decreasing order of intensity, are Strong nuclear force, Weak nuclear force, Electromagnetic force, and Gravitational force. The difference between the strongest and the weakest is about 25 followed by 38 zeroes. Still within that great range the individual and the comparative magnitudes of the forces are delicately balanced otherwise the universe would not have existed.

If the creation of the sustained universe was a miracle, the evolution of life on it was also the same... Had our sun been 30% larger it would have been burnt out in four billion years, too short a time for intelligent life to evolve. Had it been smaller 95% of stars are smaller than the sun other difficulties would have followed. Similarly, had the sun not been a source of steady energy for billions of years, had the orbit of earth around sun been a bit narrower or wider, had planet Jupiter been too close or too far to save earth from the rain of steroids, had moon not been so improbably large to stabilize the tilt of the Earth's axis to around 23 degrees, had the solar system's position in the galaxy been too near the edge or too close to the middle, advanced form of life would have been impossible.

Carbon based molecules can only survive between the limits of 120° and -20° C and earth is the only planet whose average temperatures fall within those limits. When one considers the universe as a whole, coming across a range of temperatures as narrow as this is quite a difficult task because temperatures in the universe vary from the millions of degrees of the hottest stars to absolute zero (-273° C).

Nearly all of the radiation emitted by the sun falls into a single band that is 10-25 of the whole spectrum. Radiations which are necessary and conducive for life fall in this narrow band. This is also the only radiation under which photosynthesis works and our eye is able to see.

Water also has extraordinary properties conducive for life below 4° C it expands (so that even if ponds etc. are frozen at surface underneath water is not), highest latent heat, high thermal capacity, high thermal conductivity while that of ice and snow is low, high surface tension, and viscosity, etc.

The first step to happiness is to realize this happy but impossible oddity of creation and life. We are extremely lucky to have a universe, and even more so to have a universe full of life. Since life is so improbable, Earth may be the only planet on which there is life. To be born as a human being is the happiest thing which could ever happen to anybody!

The author Pradeep Gusain and his wife work in the field of Happiness, Health, and Success, including Yoga and Naturopathy. They have visited various countries of the world and hence in their writings there is a good synergy of East and West. Read all about their methods at The Life Beautiful.com.

Stress: Control It, Change It or Let It Go!

Have you ever tried to control other people? Who gets stressed out? Have you ever tried to control things or events over which you had no control? Do you find that stressful?

There are different typed of stressful situations. Some, like people interrupting you all the time, you can control. You can let the interrupters know you are busy and don't have time to talk.

Other stresses, like rush hour traffic, are usually beyond your control. But there are some things about rush hour traffic that you can personally change which may help; taking a different route, for example, or traveling at a different time. Of course, these changes are not always possible. In that case, you have to change your attitude about the situation, in order to lessen the stress. You can listen to music or educational tapes or books-on-tape. Rush hour traffic won't seem as frustrating because you'll be doing something to help keep your mind off the traffic and other drivers.

In order to let go of commute stress, you have to accept the situation. You must accept that you cannot control the traffic, no matter how much you yell and gesture at other drivers to speed up. A stressful commute can ruin your whole day, don't let it! Accept that, if you are unable to change your route, or your time of travel, you are powerless over everything on the road, with the exception of your car and your attitude. Control your attitude, let go of the traffic, and you can control your stress!

You can learn to manage a great deal of your stress by asking looking at each stressor and asking yourself, "Can I control it, can I change it, or do I need to learn to let it go?"

The "control, change, or let go" concept is an important key to stress management. We spend too much time worrying about things over which we have no control that we have no energy left to control the things we can. We become so overwhelmed, that we feel like our whole life is out of control and we'll never catch up. Once you understand the "control, change, or let go" concept and start putting it into practice you will be able to deal much better with stressful situations.

So much of our stress comes from trying to control other people, places and things when we simply cannot. We are the ones who end up with the stress and resulting headaches! The people we try to control go home, or simply ignore us, barely giving us a thought. That's why it is so easy to build up resentments against other people in situations or jobs when we don't think we have much control. On the job, it impedes productivity and healthy teamwork. People tend to blame other people. If you are stressed out because of others, it's important to go through the steps of control, change and letting go. Unless you are ready to leave your job, family, or the planet earth, chances are you will continue working or being around the "stressful people." Ask yourself if the other person is actually a "stress carrier," or simply has a different style.

Letting go is a process. It takes time, and doesn't always happen at once just because we will it. We have to use our thoughts to control our emotions and our actions. Remind yourself that there are people and events you cannot control. All you can control is your attitude and your reactions. Its possible to change yourself-talk about the situation. Identify which stresses you can control, take appropriate action, and learn to let go of the things you can't.

Pick something in your life that stresses you out. Can you control it? If so, what can you do? Can you change it? If so, how? Perhaps you can only change or control a part of it. Do you need to let it go? If so, what can you do in order to let go?

You can view life as unexpected and exciting or your can view it as scary because you don't know what the future holds. Take charge; take control or let it go. The choice is yours!

Simma Lieberman is a consultant, speaker and author. She works with organizations to create environments where people can do their best work. Contact Simma at (510)-527-0700 to discuss how she can help you and the people in your organization break the stress cycle and develop a more balanced life. Visit her website and subscribe for free monthly newsletter.

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