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Cultivate Life! SPECIAL EDITION February 26th, 2008 Quotes of the Week What About Relationships? Begin Here The Inner Guidance Training Inspiration for Your Soul
Why Romance Stops and How to Keep it Alive How True Love Can Last a Lifetime Where to Find Your Beloved Cultivate a Spiritual Relationship SUBSCRIBE
Special Edition: Romantic Relationships?This week's Special Edition follows closely on the heels of Valentine's Day and focuses on having a successful romantic relationship. The vast majority of single people dream of finding and marrying their soul mate. This topic is often bandied about in the popular media and many people think they will someday marry this special person. However few realize that it takes a special level of awareness and self knowledge to recognize and marry your soul mate. This issue is devoted to assisting you in having that self-knowledge.Today's Cultivate Life! contains a feature article by Henk Schram about the learning we can obtain from our relationships, followed by the launch of a new raft of services at trans4mind.com focused on 'Having a successful romantic relationship.' The Begin Here facility links you to a range of 9 different services on Trans4mind, including a brand new Inner Guidance Training program for people who are in romantic relationships, and a new meditative poem by Wallace, in the Inspiration for Your Soul series. Taken together these services empower you to be successful in recognizing and marrying your soul mate. There then follows the regular Heart to Heart Coaching slot which features a reader's question on having a successful romantic relationship. The second half of the magazine has several further articles with the focus on relationships. Peter and Wallace are both experiencing the joy that being married to their soul mates brings - now they want to help each of the singletons among you find your own soul mate.
Quotes of the Week"The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring." --Oscar Wilde "Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction." --Antoine de Saint-ExuperyClick here to email these quotes to a friend | More Inspirational Quotes
What About Relationships?By Henk SchramIn our books we pose a perspective that the whole of reality that we experience stems from an all-including 'ocean of consciousness,' of which each and every one of us is a unique representation. Each one of us is a representation of the same 'overarching umbrella whole.' So are you. Your representation and experience is made unique by the sum of experiences you have gone through. Your life has been different than ours, and all your past lives (if you believe in that) have been different too. The result is a unique 'composition' of unique experiences made manifest in the form of 'you', and you are now playing your part in the human game as a character made manifest 'physically' in our collective reality that we are creating together. From all the unique experiences taken together, the 'collective consciousness' from which all originates experiences itself from countless different subjective perspectives, evolves and grows into something more than it was before. We seem separated, but we're not. It's just like when you step out of the water you can see separate droplets on your body. This leads you to think that the water of the ocean is made up of a whole lot of 'separate' droplets. However, when you go looking for them in the ocean you'll see that they're not separate. Instead, they're indivisibly part of the whole. They blend together. They're still there as individual droplets of water, with their own unique perspective. But they're blended in the whole ocean where they stem from. And so are we... We are all droplets of consciousness stemming from the same source. We all have our unique perspectives and thus our unique experiences. But we're still part of the same 'whole'. Imagine all the experiences by the 'whole' from all the different perspectives! Anyway, we hear the questions already: "Yeah, yeah. That all sounds very cheesy, vague and 'new age,' but what the deuce does that have to do with relationships?" Well, everything actually! Because one of the most profound ways in which experiences and perspectives and thus 'opportunities for growth and evolution' are put right smack in our faces, is through the people we meet and the relationships that we engage in. This is how it works... Life is a mirror. What happens to you on the 'outside' is a reflection of what is going on on the 'inside.' The storyline of your experience in the human game involves your direct experiences with all the events you're participating in and the other people who are involved. Day by day, you'll see all kinds of other people passing by. To most of them you don't even talk. Also, you see events going on that you're not taking part in. Those are all different storylines playing out outside of your current range of experience. Sometimes storylines cross and other events and people become part of your direct experience. And usually, there is a reason for that. You see, any person that comes into your life is a mirror reflection of an aspect of yourself. Such aspects can range from being related to the love that you express for yourself, to being related to feelings and beliefs of fear, guilt and resentment that you carry with you. So both persons that you like and persons you don't like are mirror reflections of what goes on inside. And without exception, they're showing you something that you need to be aware of at that point in your life, for whatever reason that may be. The mirror merely acknowledges what's going on inside of you. The mirror doesn't lie. It doesn't show you what you want to see. It shows you what you need to face. The problem is that these acknowledgements of what's going on inside of you actually reinforce your belief systems (see our book on 'The Nature of Your Own Power' which is available for free from our website). That's what makes it so tricky. In fact, because the things that you experience may seem to be so at odds with what you are actually trying to achieve, you may even think that all these principles of what has been come to be called 'attraction' or 'deliberate creation' and all that really don't work. But consider this: How can you evolve if you don't face the consequences of what you are creating? How can you learn if you're not shown what you have done? How can you grow if you're not faced with the results of applying your own power (that you may not be aware of)? How can you be made aware of your own power, if what happens to you is just random and has nothing to do with what you are doing? Life (or the 'universe', or 'the ocean of consciousness', or all the religious qualifications for it, whatever you want to call it), is doing everything to make you aware. It's putting the mirror right in front of your face. It's trying to shake you awake, while saying: "Hello! You're all powerful, can't you see? Look in the mirror, for crying out loud! Look at you! You are creating this! If you don't like what you see, then why are you creating this?" Probably because you are not aware that life is trying to make you aware of the fact that you are creating it. The key to 'freedom' in terms of making relationships 'work' is to recognize your interactions with people as such. Read more about how this perspective can be applied to transform your relationships in the free PDF download "General Perspective on Relationships". Nicholas P. Kidd and Henk J.M. Schram are the instigators of the alleged 'Great Revolution', which provides the members with truthful instructions regarding the universal principles of life.See the following related pages at Trans4mind: Print-friendly version + Recommend this article | More at Counterpoint Article Library
Begin Here: Having a successful romantic relationshipAnnouncing the launch of a sophisticated new service at trans4mind.comDo you want to learn how to have successful romantic relationships, one that leads to the recognition of a soul mate match? Wallace Huey, the magazine's Heart to Heart Coach, has devised an upgraded service on Trans4mind, designed to meet the particular needs of people who wish to have successful romantic relationships. This new service has many innovative features to assist the reader to recognize and marry their soul mate - these include:
To learn more about these services: Begin Here
Introduction to the Inner Guidance TrainingBy Wallace Huey
Be empowered to find love with the partner of your dreams, This is a training program to discover the power of inner guidance. The program will empower you to find love and romance with the person who is right for you, and through following that inner sense of rightness, enter into engagement and then marriage with your soul mate. The program is simple to do and takes place during your courtship. It is designed to be part of your courtship experience, rather than separate from it. It covers 7 stages, each stage designed to take you closer to marriage. The training can be done on your own or with your partner. The lessons learned from the program will last a lifetime. Very possibly it will change the way you think about and experience relationships and the means used to attract and keep a partner for life. Expected benefits include:
R = REFUSE all othersWhat this acronym means is explained in the following 7 lessons. You can learn to apply these lessons in your relationship yourself (and see your partner transformed by them) or you can study these lessons with your partner and apply them together. Your task, should you choose to accept it, is to carry out the ROMANCE program and apply it to your relationship, allowing yourself to be transformed by it - let these 7 lessons be your steps to a happily married life. Wallace Huey and Peter Shepherd wish you every success as you embark on this program of personal transformation. To read the program and have access to it in a choice of two print-out formats, please visit:
Inspiration for Your Soul...Having a Successful Romantic RelationshipMy partner saunters with me through the city
A mirror framed in a suit, Reflecting my every mood, thought, word and feeling.
When anger begets anger, grief results,
Seeing my own reactions reflected, I call out,
Feeling my heart open to the light,
Then... anger begets tenderness,
Prompted by this example,
With this harmony, engagement becomes possible,
Two remain two, but unite as One, By Wallace Huey Print-friendly version online | More Inspiration for Your Soul
Heart to Heart CoachingHelp with your personal problems from Wallace Huey
Do you ever wish you could have access to your own private coach free of charge, to get help with the challenging situations you face ... whenever you need inspiration, insight or advice? The Heart to Heart Coaching service empowers YOU to coach yourself on the issues that matter most. Each week a new life challenge, Wallace's advice, and the opportunity to discuss in depth at the Heart to Heart Forum...
Send Your Own Question Up to your eyes in one of life's challenges? If you can't find the help you need in the existing Heart to Heart Coaching and Forum, there are two methods of one-to-one coaching available from Wallace Huey, the Heart to Heart Coach:
Just Be Nice!By Gary Ryan BlairWe are living links in a chain of wisdom, handed down through history. One axiom developed in that chain is the Golden Rule: "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you" When we show kindness to another a bridge is built, and by following the Golden Rule to its logical conclusion you will have formed relations with the many people for whom you harbor good feelings. If more of us consciously tried to build bridges, there's no telling where such kindness might take us. It's important to connect one's life with the larger whole. Without integration there is no meaning, and life without meaning yields despair. Connections between people grow very quickly. When you give, you have made an investment in another human being. As with any other investment, you will naturally wish to protect it. By following the Golden Rule we give each other a support system, a network, and the comfort of believing that, even when one falls, there is something or someone to fall back on. Our sense of worth is tied to our self-esteem. To esteem something means to elevate it. So how do we elevate our own worth? How do we esteem ourselves? Think of the items you value either for their aesthetic or functional quality. A nonfunctioning grandfather clock is still valued because it is a beautiful piece of furniture. A nonfunctioning can opener is discarded because it is worthless. Our value in life depends on our function. But just what is that function? The answer is quite simple. When one begins to purposefully perform acts of kindness, the spirit changes and soon doing good deeds becomes a focal point for our life; doing good begins to be the same as feeling good. The periods of emptiness when we search for the "meaning of it all" begin to fill with acts of kindness. Most of us ask ourselves questions of purpose that go beyond the routines of our daily lives. The obvious answer is to be kind to one another, to help someone in need, to perform good deeds. Neither wealth, fame, prestige, nor anything external can give us more than a fleeting sense of satisfaction. The only true lasting happiness is within ourselves. Unfortunately, this is too often the last place any of us look. The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and hands and then work outward from there. If we improve ourselves by doing good for others, we enter each day in the best way possible. Good deeds really do have the power to change us. We should never consider any act that changes us as futile. No good deed we have done can be taken from us. Good deeds have the magic to turn sadness to singing and despair to joy. Just one small selfless act benefits both the giver and the receiver. In this high-tech, fast changing world what is needed and what is lasting is high-touch people and relationships. There are indeed many obstacles along the various paths in life, but some are those that we thoughtlessly put there ourselves. We may later stub our toes on the rocks that we threw out to improve our own well being. Everything Counts! Gary Ryan Blair is President of The GoalsGuy. He helps business owners, corporate executives and sales professionals manage their time, set their priorities, and stay focused so they can achieve their goals, grow their business, and be more successful. Gary can be reached for speaking, coaching and media requests at 877-462-5748 or by sending an email to Gary@GoalsGuy.comSee the following related pages at Trans4mind: Print-friendly version + Recommend this article | More at Counterpoint Article Library
Why Romance Stops and How to Keep it AliveBy Helene RothschildAre you frustrated with the lack of romance in your relationship? Have you been puzzled why it disappeared? Do you feel more like roommates? You are not alone. As a Marriage & Family Therapist, I had many clients who experienced the same problem. Through the process I developed, HART (Holistic And Rapid Transformation), I was able to assist them to successfully rekindle their romantic love by helping them to understand the causes and solutions. To begin with, love is not enough. It takes two people who have high self-esteem and good communication skills to maintain a long standing, healthy relationship. Unfortunately, we do not teach these vital things in school. In this article, I will deal with the communication patterns. Some of the major causes of this problem are how people deal with their negative feelings of fear, hurt, anger, resentment, etc. There are four basic patterns couples have. Three out of the four are dysfunctional and likely to affect what happens in the bedroom. I always ask the couple to stand-up and face each other up so that they can experience their negative reactions and then change them to positive ones. The first stance is two active aggressors. You know when they are angry because they are being critical and likely raising their voices. This is a noisy household with many heated arguments. I ask the couple to face each other, shake their pointed fingers, and pretend they are having an argument. The second pattern is two passive aggressors. This household is quiet but there is a cold war in the mist. Both people turn their backs from each other. They deal with their negative feelings by shutting down. However they are often expressed covertly with sarcasm, being absent or late, forgetting important dates, etc. If they have the courage, one day, they ask for a divorce, or ease their pain with an affair. The combination of the active and passive aggressor is the third dysfunctional pattern. To picture this, imagine one person shaking his angry finger while the other turns his back. These patterns feed each other. The more one expresses anger to their partner, the more they move away. The active aggressor then feels angrier and escalates the attacks. As you can see, everyone loses in these three dysfunctional patterns. What then to do? The only functional way is the active aggressor puts his accusing finger down and the passive aggressor faces his partner. With constructive communication skills, they can resolve their issues and feel even closer. Once they come to win-win solutions and make agreements, they can maintain a romantic, loving relationship. By the way, this model can be applied to all relationships including business partners, friends, children, siblings, and co-workers. Being caring and loving will bring people closer. Passive or active aggression will push people away. For couples, I also recommend that they take care of their appearances to maintain their attraction. It is very helpful to schedule weekly date nights and monthly weekends away to keep their relationship intimate. This is also a gift to the children as they can do well with happy parents. The couples are also then modeling a healthy relationship. In summary, romantic intimacy is often affected by what happens outside of the bedroom. If you are having romantic problems, look inside yourself to see what you can do different. Pointing your finger at your partner or ignoring them will only escalate the problem. With awareness and communication tools you can enjoy the loving, romantic relationship you desire and deserve. Copyright © 2008 by Helene Rothschild, MS, MA, MFT, Marriage & Family Therapist, intuitive counselor, speaker, and author of the Amazon best selling book, "All You Need Is HART!" She offers transformational, international phone sessions, teleclasses, books, e-books, MP3 audios, tapes, and a free newsletter, MP3 audio and e-book from her site: Love Yourself to Peace.See the following related pages at Trans4mind: Print-friendly version + Recommend this article | More at Counterpoint Article Library
Relationship Advice: How True Love Can Last a LifetimeBy Brenda NovakWhile doing a signing for my latest romance novel, a woman passed by, picked up my book, and immediately wrinkled her nose. "I don't read these kinds of books," she said. "What do you read?" I asked. She slapped it down on the table as if it was so far beneath her she couldn't bare to touch it any longer. "Something with at least a hint of realism." "I'm sorry for you," I said. And I meant it. Why? Because, good romance novels aren't fairy tales. They are snapshots of love at its finest. I should know. I've written 28 of them, and read hundreds of others. The complaint shouldn't be that these romance novels are not realistic. Many of us just don't know how to make this kind of love last, but that doesn't mean we can't learn. It's basically a matter of behaving as we behaved when we were courting the love of our lives. And, then taking it a few steps further to establish deeper ties that make "true love" every bit a reality. How to Make Your True Love Last a Lifetime:
See the following related pages at Trans4mind:
Where to Find Your BelovedBy Alan CohenFebruary is one of my favorite months, since this month includes Valentine's Day, which I consider to be one of the holiest holidays. In a world that is aching, even starving for love, any opportunity we take to find more love has to bless our life in a huge way. Perhaps you have a lover or perhaps you do not, but I invite you to consider to take life as your lover. This month let it matter less whether or not you have a real person to hold in your arms, and let it matter more that life is holding you in its arms. One of the first questions I ask participants in my Mastery Training to consider is: Are you letting life love you? It's a very profound question if you think about it. While many people feel unloved and believe they have to go out and find someone to prove they are loveable, they rarely succeed because they do not recognize that the love they seek is already given, and available to them right where they stand. If you do not recognize your lovability, no action you take will gain it for you. Yet fall in love with yourself, and you will suddenly have lots of competition for the slot. D.H. Lawrence nobly noted, "Those who go searching for love only find their own lovelessness. But the loveless never find love; only the loving find love, and they never have to search for it." Are you a love seeker or a love finder? The funny thing about seeking is that it sometimes leads to finding, but often leads to more seeking. The funny thing about finding is that it usually leads to more finding. Find love within you, and you will find it around you. Some of the great spiritual masters were love-ecstatics. The immortal poets Rumi, Hafiz, and Kabir related to God as the great Beloved, and walked the world practically drunk with the experience of finding the Beloved in everyone and everything they met. Can you imagine being head-over-heels in love throughout every day? St. John of the Cross saw it thus: "Take God for your spouse and friend and walk with Him continually, and... you will learn to love, and the things you must do will work out prosperously for you." We are all learning to love. Love may be the only lesson we were born to master and savor. This month, following Valentine's Day, would be fabulous opportunity to practice it. The wonderful thing about true love is that it does not require anyone else's presence or permission to give it and enjoy it. Then, holding yourself in your arms, you become -- and have -- the world's greatest lover. From Alan Cohen's monthly newsletter, Insights for Richer Living. Alan is the author of 22 popular inspirational books and CDs, including the best-selling "The Dragon Doesn't Live Here Anymore," the award-winning "A Deep Breath of Life," and the classic "Are You as Happy as Your Dog?" He conducts the Life Mastery Training in Hawaii, as well as a Personal Mentorship Program - see Alan Cohen.com.See the following related pages at Trans4mind: Print-friendly version + Recommend this article | More at Counterpoint Article Library
Cultivate a Spiritual RelationshipBy Dr. Tim OngWhat is a spiritual relationship? A relationship is how we relate to other. A spiritual relationship is a relationship that aims for the highest good for those in the relationship. It is one that facilitates our spiritual growth. Here are some tips on how to cultivate a spiritual relationship with another.
Dr. Tim Ong is a medical doctor and hospice volunteer. He is also the author of "From Fear to Love: A Spiritual Journey" - a book that explores our hidden fears and how we can overcome them. Dr. Ong shares his personal experience as well as relates stories and lessons from his patients. You can get a copy of his ebook here: From Fear to Love.
See the following related pages at Trans4mind:
The New Life Course & The Insight Project ...
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