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By Gregory Mitchell - Copyright © 2003
9. Clarifying Problems
The mark of a successful individual is not whether or not they have problems, it is whether or not they have the same problems they had last year! In other words, do they understand problems? And are they solving them? Or are they just worrying and fretting and doing nothing?
Everybody has problems. Whenever we have a goal, there are barriers to achieving that goal - otherwise it would be too easy and no fun. The goal blocked by the barrier is a problem. Overcoming the barrier and attaining the goal is the game of life. This is also called problem solving. Without problems as challenges, life would be boring indeed! Problems are the essence of life. Difficulties arise when you are at the effect of a problem - when a problem has you, not when you have a problem. Then you experience stress and worry.
When a problem has you, you don't realize that you are creating it. You don't know that you, and only you, have to do something about the problem - that is, if you want to solve it. You are waiting for something to happen or someone else to solve the problem for you, or for it to fizzle out. You aren't looking clearly, facing up to the reality, seeing the truth and therefore being able to solve the problem. And it isn't fun. This is also called not taking responsibility and being at effect.
When you have a problem, you know that you made it because you wanted something - you have a goal - and there are always barriers to attaining every goal. So you have a goal opposed by a barrier - a problem! So you know you have to do something about the problem - to overcome the barriers and move forward toward the goal. And you have to do it (no one else can). And you are doing it! You are solving the problem. And it's fun! This is also called taking responsibility and being at cause.
There are always problems in life. The question is are you going to have problems or are problems going to have you? Better to let your problems become challenges, a game you can enjoy.
First you need to identify the problems in your life and there are inevitably lots of them! The following technique will help you identify some problems that you may not even be aware of, perhaps because you have just got so accustomed to them...
Step 1. Ask yourself the following questions:
a) "What are you doing in your life that you want to do?" The answer should be written in box number 1.
b) "What are you not doing in your life that you want to do?" In other words, what do you wish you were doing and you are not? Your answer should be written in box number 2.
c) "What are you doing in your life that you don't want to?" Your answer should be written in box number 3.
d) "What are you not doing in your life that you don't want to do?" Yes, this is a double negative, but it is an important question, because it identifies those things that a person really does not want to do and is not making a part of his life, e.g. he does not want to work for somebody else, and in this way he limits his options. Your answer should be written in box number 4. Step 2. These questions should be asked several times cyclically, until you have run out of answers. Each answer should be written down in the appropriate box.
Step 3. Circle the answers that you have written down in boxes 2 and 3. These are the problem areas of your life. Box 4 may also represent an unresolved problem. With this data - an increased clarity on your situation - you will be able to focus on the problem issues and take action on the real underlying source of the problems.
Step 4. If the problem is attention-destroying thoughts, you should assign these thoughts a worry time. If you are unfit, realize that you can promote mental fitness by becoming physically fit and exercise gives you more energy, not less. Also you should talk yourself into eagerness instead of exhaustion, since most people are about as tired, as they make up their minds to be.
If you have practical problems, take action to resolve the problem, rather than worry and complain about things. Most problems have simple solutions: you can lose weight by eating less, you can stop smoking by simply stopping. Simple enough but not easy to do, otherwise you would have done it already.
To resolve the impasse you need to look at the opposite intention that is holding you back. I like eating and I like smoking, yes, but why? Normally the why is unmet needs, that the compulsion has become a substitute for. What is not being faced up to here? Look for the real underlying problem and sort that out first. Try to gain more clarity about it, to identify your thought-distortions that have been making the problem seem more of a barrier than it actually is.
To gain further clarity, use the Five Roads of Thought with the problem as the subject. Shift your attention from one aspect of the problem to another with relaxed but controlled concentration. Form a circle of related ideas, much like a mandala, and note them down. The 'circle' stands for the area in which the mind moves freely among the intimately related aspects of the problem.
It is clear you cannot solve anything by fixing your attention on the problem itself, which is represented by 'A' in the diagram above - for example in this case the problem of how to go about building an extension onto your house. If you make the attempt you simply become more uncomfortably aware of the fact that there is a problem - no extension yet exists! Since every problem is made up of related aspects, each aspect must receive attention in turn. So the mind moves freely among the intimately related phases of the problem. In the diagram this is represented by moving from A to A1, which is an examination of the financial costs. This means that for the time being you put aside the overall problem of how to build the extension and first discover how much money you can spare.
When you have ascertained this, you move immediately back to A and almost instantaneously find yourself at A2, the issue of design: how many rooms, is an architect necessary and so on. Back again at A you have an improved picture of the problem but your attention switches to the next issue, planning permission, and so on through A3, A4, etc. These all amount to an answer to the question (Q).
With this kind of free ranging contemplation, aspects will become apparent that you earlier on had neglected to include in your 'knowledge map' of the issue. The eventual solution is simply a more accurate knowledge of the objective truth of the situation, without blind spots caused by prejudice, assumptions or fears. From that knowledge you can see clearly the way ahead.
Then what is then required is intentional daily effort, focused toward an objective that has been clarified in all respects and that you genuinely feel is both worthwhile and a resolution of the problem. Observe yourself in the process and when you become distracted bring yourself back on task. Refocus and begin again.
When you are working toward a goal, something that you want to achieve, it helps greatly to do two things. Firstly, to get a very clear picture in your mind of where you are going, and what it will be like when you get there. Feel it with all your senses, as if you have already achieved it.
Secondly, measure your progress, not by how far you still have to go to reach that target, but instead, how far you have already come. Realize how important your first steps are. Keep doing that and you will get there. There will be more advice about how best to attain your objectives later in this course.
CONTENTS:
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These pages provide the tools for a wide-ranging analysis of your personality, so you can know yourself better. Covering the areas of Introversion/Extraversion, Emotional Stability, Determinism, Sexuality and Social & Political Attitudes, it will help you see yourself - your mental, emotional and behavioral strengths and weaknesses - in a more objective light. It is an ideal starting point for personal development... the Know Your Own Mind Personality Questionnaire.
Copyright © 2004 Gregory Mitchell - Published by Trans4mind
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