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Twelve years ago I was dumped by a woman and I still dream of her – how do I let go?

heart to heart
I fell in love with a girl 12 years ago and she dumped me. She still lives in my mind and I could not forget her and therefore it is painful. I need guidance to overcome this.
Wallace's reply
In living it is always best to create your life out of the possibilities of the future rather than the disappointments of the past. You have idealized that relationship that finished 12 years ago. In your mind it has grown into a fantasy - an illusion of romantic bliss. Relationships are not things we engage in as fantasy. They are entered into with real people in the real world, with all the challenges that brings.

You need to see fantasy as fantasy and admit it is not a real thing, every time it arises in your mind. Then take the energy you were using to maintain that fantasy and use it to find a real relationship in the real world by taking action straight away to create fresh opportunities to meet and date new women.

Would you not rather have a real woman instead of an illusion?

Further Help and Resources
See the article by Linda Reeves, Is Your Baggage Holding You Back?.

Read more questions on this topic

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