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A person has come into my life that embodies many attributes I've asked for and some that bring about the healing and learning I require in my life. Our personalities although different compliment each other well. The problem is the conditions that surround this person's life. Recognizing that we're both on a path of healing and learning, we realize we're also performing at different levels.

Authenticity has always been important to me and fortunately I've been blessed with over a decade of reading and self-discovery. My partner has just begun. Due to the difference in time spent on personal growth, we can share the same dialogue but our maps don't always match the territory, and are often not congruent.

The love is constant and good. The question is: how do you have a successful or healthy relationship when the learning levels are so apart? Is it possible to have a good relationship when the two people are working on different levels?

There is a type of relationship which I know can create feelings of fundamental incompatibility and is often the cause of divorce. When two partners marry and one develops an interest in the spiritual life, which I would define as focusing on changing yourself to attain happiness, and the other partner is caught in worldly life, which I would define as focusing on fulfilling materialistic and other desires to attaining happiness.

If two partners are each focused on changing themselves, have similar values, are personally compatible and communicate well together then I see no barrier to their relationship flourishing.

I would add a word of caution. When two people marry they undertake to accept, learn from, love and appreciate each other. It is not appropriate for one person to assume the role of coach to the other because they consider themselves further along the spiritual journey.

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