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I am always tired and lethargic. I am just frustrated with my life and I just wish I wasn't born.

heart to heart I am going to answer two questions from two men from Australia. Often men do not admit to being depressed so thank you for admitting the truth of your life experience. You both reveal the pain of being depressed and feeling helplessness.

Questioner 1

Philosophy: I have researched all religions and New Age Groups for the past 40 years and I have ended up not knowing who or what to believe any more, so I don't believe in anything at present.
Hopes and aspirations: Self-Realisation and to Know The Truth.

Question: My question is, is it possible to know the Truth of who we are and are we conscious after death? I have also been suffering from Depression and Anxiety for years, I suffer from low testosterone, I am changing my depression medication and with the process I am going thru emotional upheavals and extreme desire for sex. I am just frustrated with my life and I just wish I wasn't born.
Questioner 2
Philosophy: I honestly believe that I can do anything that I set my mind to. (Just have a problem doing it.)
Hopes and aspirations: I just want to be a motivated person.

Question: I feel like I'm in a shell sort of. I just sit there and think about things I want to do but I am unable to get moving. My mind is very active and I take Prozac daily. I am diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I just can't seem to make the initial move towards productivity. I need to (I think) make even the smallest move to get started, but I can't seem to lift a finger. I am always tired and lethargic. I hate this about myself. My wife deserves better than that. I have read countless motivational sites and nothing seems to work. Can you help me to even make the smallest moves towards something (anything) productive? Thank you for your reply!
Reply by Coach Doris Jeanette Doris Jeanette
Damned if you do. Damned if you don't. This is the curse of the human condition when you are trapped in your past learning history and do not know how to get out of it. You are in a lose-lose situation called learned helplessness.

The famous psychologist, Harry Harlow called it the "pit of despair." Few know that he suffered from severe depression and received shock treatments. After his hospitalization, he conducted research where he created the "pit of despair," in his famous rhesus monkeys.

In this state, no matter what you do, your ego, your brain, your thoughts attack you. Mean. Nasty. Hateful thoughts and damaging mental judgments constantly come at you.

As a result, unhealthy, mental energy is created.

The nasty thoughts are composed of unpleasant energy, which often settle around your head. Of course, these thought forms can take hold anywhere in your body and energy field. They are perceptible; they can be seen and felt by people who are sensitive and intuitive.

These thought forms are real; they have substance, weight and density. Even color, smell and form. Well-trained and skilled Chinese acupuncturists have smelled this energy for centuries. You too, can develop your ability to sense and smell nasty thought energy.

Your thought forms are constantly hurting you and attacking you. So of course, this dense energy weights you down. How could you move when this nasty energy is between you and the real world? As long as this gray energy has the upper hand you are truly stuck in learned helplessness.

Currently, your thought forms do have the upper hand because you are weaker than they are. This is a fact. A physical fact. It is also a fact that this nasty energy breaks the heart and paralyzes all forward movements of life until you unlearn your helplessness.

Traditional psychologists and psychiatrists call this state depression. However depression is not anything strange or bizarre. Mental illness is a myth. Read Thomas Szasz's book, which was first published in 1961, "The Myth of Mental Illness." I like his quote, "If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia."

The physical reality that you are experiencing is not a disease or illness. You think you cannot move. Therefore, you do not move. You think you are worthless and helpless. As a result you are stuck in sticky, dark, molasses energy.

As a holistic psychologist, with 35 years of clinical experience, I also know you feel safer when you do not move. Please read the column about OCD, anxiety and depression. It explains that once you move out of the depressed state, you are then face to face with your nasty thoughts forms. This of course, makes you highly anxious.

Since you do not have the skills to deal with anxiety, you go back into a depressed state. This means you must first learn how to reduce your anxiety if you want to overcome depression.

"I am changing my depression medication and in the process I am going thru emotional upheavals and extreme desire for sex. I am just frustrated with my life and I just wish I wasn't born."

To add more obstacles to your ability to move out from under these heavy thought forms, you add medication. Depression medication is notorious for shutting off your sexual energy. I know from successfully teaching others how to get out of the depressed state, that your strong, potent sexual energy is part of the cure.

Your physical, sexual energy is essential. It provides the voltage needed so you can become stronger than your nasty thought forms. Therefore, when you take medication you put yourself in a double lose-lose. You are already depressing your sexual and emotional energy in the first place. Now the drug is helping you depress your juicy energy. Is this the help you need?

Why not enjoy your sexual feelings and encourage this energy? Solo sex is healthy and good for you. What about your lovely wife? You could learn to become a better lover so you can enjoy sex with her. The research on depression consistently finds that physical activities are the only thing that helps. Sex is an excellent choice.

I also know that feeling your real emotions will give you the extra energy you need to become stronger than your nasty thought forms. I cannot help but comment about a Japanese movie I saw, "I'd Rather Be a Shellfish." I love Japanese movies because they are so full of emotion.

This is a very sad movie. From what I understand, it is based on a common theme and popular story in Japan. Watching it can help you cry from your guts, solar plexus and heart. Crying from authentic, emotional hurt is very different from crying due to thought based self-pity.

To learn the difference between your nasty thoughts that depress you and your authentic feelings with create vital energy study and work with the "Opening the Heart" audio.

You need to use the current Japanese disaster, as well as sad movies, to help you feel your authentic feelings and emotions. When you feel your authentic emotions, you will notice a shift out of your thought forms into reality. Feelings quickly move you out of depressed energy into a healthier, flowing energy.

With your goal of "Self-Realization and to Know The Truth" in mind, let us continue.

All power is within. This is the truth. It is universal law.

However, when you are depressed, you do not have access to your power. It is not available to you. And I assure you there are no quick, spiritual, angels, therapists, psychologists or gurus who can give you power. They do not have your power. You have your power.

The wise holistic psychologist will teach you how to find, recognize, access and use your power.

Look for teachers who are wise. Do not seek treatments, gurus, herbs or drugs. Seek someone to teach you how to find and access your own power. Going to an acupuncturist is great because he or her can get your energy moving. I use this method as needed. I bless all acupuncturists who help people.

However, if you do not also learn how to move your own energy, treatments are limited. You must learn to manage your own energy if you want to be whole and healthy. Wise teachers show you how to hook up with your power source. They also teach you how to use your power wisely and responsibly.

Think of a volcano. It has plenty of power inside. You have the same huge amount of power inside of you. However, it is worthless until you find it, access it and learn how to use it. Currently, you are conditioned into a place where you do not even see your power. As a matter of fact, you do not believe you have any power.

"Can you help me to even make the smallest moves towards something (anything) productive?"

A skillful teacher will show how to become stronger than your thoughts forms. I have offered you several effective ways to become stronger. You can feel your body feelings and your emotional feelings. You can learn the skills needed to deal with your anxiety so you can stay out of the depressed state once you climb out of the pit of despair.

Here is one more suggestion taken from my educational audio, "Depression: How to Unlearn Learned Helplessness and Break Free." It is the ACE. ACE stands for Active Conscious Effort.

At any point in time you can make an ACE to do something physical. Do anything that feels physically safe for you to do. Wash the dishes, wash your clothes, make love with yourself, your wife, just move.

This is the small movement of energy that will begin to move you out of the pit of despair.

Action Steps:
  1. Get to Know Your Depressed State. Feel it, sense it, understand it, take responsibility for it, own it and vow to move out of it. For a complete understanding of how depression is created and how it can be unlearned, study the educational audio, "Depression: How to Unlearn Learned Helplessness and Break Free."
  2. Learn the skills needed to deal with anxiety and fear. You will not be successful getting rid of depression until you know how to reduce your anxiety and face your nasty thought forms. You need to have a relaxation response that you can use when you need it to decondition your past learning history of learned helplessness. A good place to start is the educational audio, "Anxiety: How to Relax and Calm Your Nerves."

    Readers of Cultivate Life! can get both "Depression: How to Unlearn Learned Helplessness and Break Free," and "Anxiety: How to Relax and Calm Your Nerves" audio for the price of one. When you place your order mention you read Cultivate Life! and I will send you both.
  3. Form a healthy relationship with a wise teacher. Find someone you can trust and learn how to tap into your inner power. Learn to use your natural talents to access your energy, which is stronger than thought forms.
  4. Use the ACE. Be physically active everyday. Get up and move. Engage in physical work, get a physical job, and keep active until you are bone tired. Then let go and relax.
If you live in a country where the currency is especially low, please email me through the contact information at my site. Let me know you live in India or African and I will give you a deeper discount.

Coaching copyright © 2010 Dr. Doris Jeanette
Doris Jeanette is a licensed psychologist in PA, USA. She is director of the Center for New Psychology where she mentors and trains professionals who are interested in learning how to help people shift out of depression and deal with anxiety by learning how to master their own energy. Sign up for her free newsletter, "The Vibrant Moment" to learn more about holistic psychology and how it can empower you and your clients.

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