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I feel compelled to look at pornography on the Internet - help me, I am losing my focus.

heart to heart The questioner's philosophy
My inclination is towards spiritual development - to awakening to self.
The questioner's hopes and aspirations
To make a contribution to life and live the purpose for which I have come to Earth.
I find I am very distracted on the Internet and can sometimes spend hours looking and searching for pornographic images and acts. I find that sometimes I get lost in it and when I eventually get a release, I don't have energy for much else.

The worst part of it is that all this happens during working hours and it is dissipating my focus, energy and motivation. Is there anyway I can overcome this? How come I am behaving in this way? Are there any resources that I can use, that will speed up my recovery?

Wallace's reply
I would like to congratulate you in writing so openly on this subject. The huge plethora of Internet pornography is a testament to the popularity of this activity - so you are definitely not alone. You are head and shoulders above many, because you are prepared to reach out and get assistance with this compulsion.

I know you are a young man and it is natural and healthy for young men to have strong sexual desire. However it is also necessary for these desires to be transcended, which they can be if you are prepared to:

  1. Direct these energies to a higher purpose
  2. Replace fantasies about women with a relationship with a real woman
  3. Lead a balanced life
  4. Manage your thoughts
Do not be afraid of your sexual energy, no matter how strong it is. Sexual energy is the life force running through you. A strong sex drive is pure gold. The secret is to direct it into the purpose for which it is intended.

Direct these energies to a higher purpose
A person's sex drive needs to be harnessed and used to serve a higher purpose - this means it needs to be put to work. Sex is energy - a creative energy. You say in your philosophy, "My inclination is towards spiritual development - to awakening to self." And you say your hopes and aspirations are, "To make a contribution to life and live the purpose for which I have come to Earth." Your sexual energy is the key that will enable you to live your philosophy and empower your hopes and aspirations. To achieve this you need to redirect it into creative, life affirming pursuits.

For example when at work use this creative energy to serve your colleagues. If you are not enlivened by your working life change your perception. Instead of seeing tasks as boring or dull, make them interesting by putting more love into them. See how each task serves a particular purpose for someone else and do the task with love for them. In your relationships at work cultivate good communication, joy and happiness. See your work as the place where love is created and spread and see yourself as the focal point for this to happen.

Through such means even dull tasks become interesting. Spreading love through your work will open your heart and help your sexual energy to flow upward from your base chakra to your heart chakra and then higher to illuminate your other spiritual chakras. This in turn will reduce feelings of sexual compulsion - although, I emphasize, not immediately. This transformation of the sex drive happens over years and decades and, in a man who is living this way, the sex drive will gradually be weaned away from attachment to lustful inclinations toward service to humanity and powerful Self expression.

Replace fantasies about women with a relationship with a real woman
Another way to redirect your wayward sexual energy is to date girls and choose one with whom you can have a romantic relationship. Dating, going steady, engagement and marriage are natural uses for sexual energy. I am not advocating sexual promiscuity (for this creates its own problems) but rather to direct your sexual energy into romantic relationships with real women. Real women are so much more interesting than fantasy women and establishing and maintaining a relationship with a real woman and all that means (fun, sharing, intimacy, romance and perhaps even marriage, buying a home together and children!) will also help direct your sexual energy in a healthy, life affirming direction.

Leading a balanced life
A well rounded and balanced life helps transform sexual energy into creative expression. Such a life can include sport, hobbies, travel, voluntary charity work and family life. I suggest you get involved in some or all or these and find ways to express love through these activities.

Managing your thoughts
If lustful thoughts arise do not fight them - rather observe them happening, as if from a great distance. Create a distinction in your awareness between your lustful thoughts and your Self. Through this means, experience your lustful thoughts as something separate from your Self and then redirect your focus to creative pursuits of the kind outlined above. Managing this will take persistence and commitment. If you fall back, begin again. It is only through steady commitment and persistence that you will eventually transcend these lustful inclinations.

Through these means you will not lose your lustfulness and become neutered as it were, nor will you be suppressing it, rather you will be using this energy creatively and in so doing gradually become detached from your lustful thoughts. When you do eventually become completely detached you will experience total choice as to whether you follow your lustfulness or not. Through these means you will also be able to live the philosophy you espouse and come closer to attaining your hopes and aspirations.

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