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I have great hopes and anticipation but it only ends in frustration - is it better to be in the now?

heart to heart The questioner's philosophy
I am of no denomination - I believe in karma and good will and being kind to my fellow beings. I live life by a moral compass that is set in the right direction.
The questioner's hopes and aspirations
I want to be the absolute best that I can be in my line of work, in my study and future work - and I hope to meet someone AMAZING and live life with them - no need to settle down, just some one to share experiences with.
I recently saw a psychic and I left with a bad taste in my mouth - she didn't say anything bad or that I didn't want to hear - in fact she didn't say anything at all. I am running on 20% of what I know I can do with my life and I really feel as though I am about to turn a corner - I constantly feel as though I am on the look out for something. There is so much anticipation that I can't quite believe it when... nothing happens.

I am talking about my personal life with regards to relationships and with regard to my working life. I am looking for a spark as well! I meet so many men - there is never a shortage - but unfortunately, no sparks. I would love to rekindle a very brief relationship I recently encountered, but my pride and fear of rejection stops me from doing this.

So with this in mind, I feel there is lack of direction. Am I searching for something that doesn't exist instead of focusing and making the very best of now?

Wallace's reply
The nature of the world is frustration, when force and effort are used to try and attain what is desired. However, God is beyond all frustration, beyond all desire. He is timeless, eternal, present everywhere, all powerful and all knowing and within You!

Life is like a bicycle wheel with God in the centre and the world on the circumference. When the mind travels outward along the spokes of the wheel it gets buffeted by all the rocks and ruts in the road it is travelling. But when the mind withdraws to the hub at the centre, there is no movement or disturbance. This hob is God!

So learn to accept your self and your life as it is without wishing it to be different. Withdraw to the center - to the hub - by letting go of these desires to have boyfriends and your need to be the best you can be. Instead be your Self - the Higher Self that is found at the hub of the wheel at one with God - the Self that is free of all desire, striving and the wishing for things to be different from what they are. This is true freedom - a life that is free of longing and searching for the things of the world. Desire only God! Eventually even that desire will pass and you will find yourself in the place of choiceless awareness - it is then that you will live permanently in the Now.

To attain this state, learn to be a witness of your mind and watch how it forms desires and wishes and observe then how anticipation flows from this activity of the mind. Watch as hopes form and then are dashed, followed by disappointment and frustration and your new desire to have a coach or counselor to help you sort it all out! Watch all of this and see it at work.

In the constant watching of it is your release and your victory. Then as you draw closer and closer to the hub in the wheel, through this self witnessing, all your needs will be supplied. Fear and resistance turn to acceptance and love; and with a sense of non-attachment you can then effortlessly create the reality you desire. The wise woman is completely still (within) and, from this place of inner stillness, watches as the world is drawn to her for its fulfillment.

Further Help and Resources
I suggest you read and absorb Chapter 1 of Tim Ong's book From Fear to Love called A Spiritual Adventure which you can read on Trans4mind. In it, Tim gives an introduction to the art of mindfulness, which I think you will find most helpful.

The following article by Karla Brandau is very relevant, as frustration is one of the main components of stress: Sure-Fire Mental Strategies to Fight Stress. In addition, there is a Quick Coach selection of articles from the Counterpoint library for this topic, Overcoming anger and frustration, that you will find helpful.

Read more questions on this topic

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