I abuse alcohol. Not every day, but when socially involved. I want to drink socially, like 1 or 2 drinks per social evening. But every time I find myself to have had far more drinks than I planned. Having 5 glasses of red wine is far too much for me. How could I stick to the planned 1 or 2 drinks?

You don't sound like someone with an alcohol problem to me - you sound like someone who lacks confidence in her own judgment. I am wondering if you drink too much socially because you feel the peer pressure to "go along with the crowd" rather than trust your own sense of what is right. If this is the case it points to a deeper problem than having a few too many drinks - it suggests that you can easily be manipulated by others into doing whatever they want. All these "others" have to do to have you jumping around like one of their puppets is give out slight hints of disapproval and you are under their control.

Am I right? And if I am, does this tendency to allow yourself to be controlled by others extend to every area of your life? If so you need to practice becoming visible and powerful. By that I mean a person with your own ideas, thoughts and preferences. A person who doesn't go along with the crowd but instead stands out from the crowd.

Every day when you get up and before you go to bed look in the mirror and repeat three times - "I am a strong, powerful, independent woman." Then at challenging times during the day say those 7 words inwardly to yourself. Picture yourself acting in this way. Hold a vision of yourself as this kind of person in your heart and have the courage to follow this vision through by acting in a strong and independent manner. As you change your beliefs about yourself so you will change the way you behave.

Why not try Peter Shepherd's course The Positive Approach, which is a 30-lesson self-help course - for free! It will help you become clearer about your own identity, what you want in life - your life vision - and how to consciously transform your life for the better. You will learn how your beliefs shape your life experience and become aware of exactly how you are creating your reality. In particular I suggest you read and implement Lesson 14 - Changing Your Mind About Yourself and Lesson 22 - 'False Beliefs.'

Read more questions on this topic with Wallace's advice

To the reader:
We welcome and need your perspective on this vital question. Email us your personal experiences, views and advice—your comments will then be added below...

YOUR COMMENTS:

---

Go to BEGIN HERE - the Resources page for this life challenge

---