Your friend is locked into a belief system that reinforces a sense of unworthiness. At some level she believes she deserves this abuse. At another level she knows this to be wrong. The fact that children are involved makes it doubly important that she seek help.
Your concerns are warranted and understandable. However, you cannot fix her life for her. She msut want help. She must reach for help. And she must accept this help. Right now she is leaning on you and immersed in a sea of "isn't it awful."
You want to be a good nurse. You will likely succeed. One of your earliest lessons will be to recognize when some individuals are so attached to their victimhood they dont want to let go. Those children are watching their mother be abused and they will grow up to be either victims or abusers themselves. Because that's the modeling they are receiving. Right now the whole family is being abused by the family tyrant.
Here at Trans4Mind there are many good resources for persons dealing with various life challenges. There are likely many community resources available where you live. Most cities have shelters for battered women and children. These are emergency services. For the long term an abuse victim as to COMMIT to getting help and getting stronger. Once the commitment is made those resources will almost magically show up.
As long as one stays trapped in their state of victimhood then they will only see negatives. Hard to believe, but some individuals like the attention that comes with being a victim.
By the way, batterers rarely ever change and more often than not, escalate their abuse. Your friend is in real danger and so are the children.
In Christian terms, "God helps those who help themselves."
In psychological terms, once an individual commits to their health and well-being the Universe will deliver. Between the Internet and your local book store there is a plethora of quality resources available. There is no need to continue suffering unless you want to.
As an aspiring nurse you need to know your limitations. You cannot save another person unless they really want to be helped. Your desire to help will take you a long way and you will be of great service to individuals who are suffering. Learn this now. You can only help those who wish to help themselves.
Professional victims will drain you of your energy. People who truly want help will respond to your offerings and run with them.
I hope this helps. Good Luck with your friend and your future career.
Read more questions relevant to Lightworkers with Maurice's advice
To the reader:
We welcome your perspective on this important question. Email us your personal experiences, views and advice—your comments will then be added below...
Note from Maurice: This lady's question brings up a common issue with aspiring helpers - they will drain themselves in an attempt to help somebody who then does nothing for themselves. My answer was two-fold 1) Here's what you can do, and what you can't. 2) Here's what you need to know as an aspiring helper. So I think the question belongs in this Lightworker section, since you are all aspiring helpers...
