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I am calling this Over-Achievement Stress. Because that's what it is, whether it resides in me or you or anyone like us who is trying to prove him or herself all the time. I know I'm not alone here. Over-Achievement Stress comes from one source mainly - "feeling that you are not good enough" which includes feelings of low self-esteem and low self-worth.

The insidiousness of this stress works like this. You feel inadequate! You feel "less than!" So, you feel that you must compensate for those inadequacies! You unconsciously drive yourself to achieve more than others, to reach for greater heights, to keep striving, and therefore, to never rest. What results from this approach is a constant and steady state of stress accompanied by feeling overwhelmed.

You are no longer a human being at this point; you are now a human doing. All the reasons driving this attitude are buried in your unconscious. This human doing activity has been well documented by other experts in the field of psychology and personal development, namely John Bradshaw in his book "Bradshaw on the Family."

What is a 'human doing'? This is a person who is running away from the judgment that "they are less than" anyone else. Believing they are inadequate, no matter what the source of this judgment, drives them to produce, to strive, to achieve. Only by producing and / or achieving can they ever feel good about themselves. By keeping busy they keep that negative voice at bay.

I came into this world through a family where praise never existed. Criticism and judgment were there everyday, but little else. "Never good enough" became ingrained in me and I unconsciously adopted it as a working mantra. I believed this because they, by whom I mean parents, church and school, constantly drilled it into me, along with the rest of my peer group. These authority figures had already been taught that they weren't good enough and this became their legacy to me.

This indoctrination sets the stage for addictive behavior patterns that always result in burnout. Feeling stressed and overwhelmed has its roots in these negative early experiences, which then drive us to try and "prove" that we are not inadequate. That's when we become a frantic human doing. We play to the audience, outside forces, trying to win them over, so one of them might say "you were pretty good today." And that feeds our addictive drive to do more.

Achieve! Accomplish! Produce! My list includes 3 degrees, numerous well paying jobs that ended in burnout, learning to play music, writing books, giving lectures and, oh yes, saving the world (in my spare time of course). Feeding this insatiable monster leads to increased stress while we try to keep one foot ahead of our self-judgment ego that is ready to pounce whenever we try and rest. One important point, the activities we engage in are not bad in themselves, it's our over-achieving attitude that turns them into self-defeating courses of action.

I have abandoned that addictive and self-aggrandizing path at this time. I am no longer playing to the audience hoping for applause and recognition - well, not as much as I used to, and less and less everyday. One at a time I am disconnecting those buttons that lead to frantic activity. My first priority now is to please myself, because that pleases the inner me, which is the God in me. That part of me gets all of my attention at this point in my life. Less and less do I care about what others think, including my negative ego.

My physiology is changing also as a result of this new approach. I am getting better rest at night. My blood pressure has dropped and continues to do so, bringing me down to the normal range. And, despite my ego's vain attempts to guilt me back into action I consciously continue my slowing down plan of inaction. I may still be speed walking on some days, but no longer am I running. I listen to my ego's negative judgments but they no longer persuade me "to do." If I need to rest, I just do so.

My ego is taking a beating over this approach. That part of me is not happy. But he was born in a time of ignorance when the only voices surrounding me were rife with negativity and judgment. My fledgling ego found a way to shut them up by engaging in frantic activity and the pursuit of greater achievement. Egos are always afraid that the judgments will come back to try and shame us into action. My ego simply does not know any better. He came into being long before I could make conscious, informed choices. His was a reactive strategy, which is the case for most of us. When we finally understand the roots of our stress, we can let go of its frantic nature. We can make informed and healthy choices. From the position of loving and accepting ourselves we can then engage our multitude of talents into a glorified expression of the Divine within.

So what am I discovering now? That I am good enough just as I am, and so are you. Remember, if you are defective, at least in your own beliefs, then you have to conclude that God made a mistake with you. So, you be sure and tell God, when you get to the other side, that He/She screwed up. On the other hand, if you are willing to consider that underneath all your early negative shaping there is a positive core, a uniquely beautiful human being, who is perfection as only God could create, then you may consider letting this Real You out of that self-imposed cage. How does that sound?

Do you want to get over feeling stressed and overwhelmed? Then stop belittling yourself and applying external judgments that leave you feeling inadequate. Start by accepting that You are doing this to You. Once that is settled be prepared to meet the Real You underneath that barrage of activity you no longer need to engage in. Time to get your self unwound, slowed down and into a state of blissful cruising where your creativity shines every day. That will take care of the stress and associated disorders, and allow you to begin seeing what God saw all along, inner beauty and perfection that needs no proof beyond what it already is. This will take us all back to our true nature which is a Human Being!

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