The Sapiens Association

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Inner Guidance Training How to Use Inner Guidance to Have Your Needs Met Introduction Paradoxically we can become obsessed with ourselves by focusing on meeting others needs at the expense of our own. This happens because we are out of balance. We have a right to express our needs and to have them met by others. However when we do try and have our needs met we often express ourselves badly or awkwardly and do not achieve the result we desire. This happens because the way we are asking for our needs to be met conveys feelings of bitterness and resentment. For Example Susan wanted her husband to help more with the housework. She felt she was carrying an unfair share of the work involved in keeping house and minding children. She had been feeling this way for many months but had said nothing. As she became increasingly tired and worn out, feelings of bitterness and resentment grew. Then one day when the baby was crying and she had been alone all day, her husband came in from work and sat down in front of the television to watch the news as normal. When he asked her what was for tea that evening, she flew into a temper and accused her surprised husband of being lazy and uncaring. However her angry communication towards her husband did not have the desired effect and she was left to get the tea and look after their baby on her own. An Exercise in Using Inner Guidance to Have Your Needs Met Think of something you need and deserve - a need that is not being met by people close to you. Feel any bitterness and resentment you are holding around not having this need met. Express these feelings in doodles, or write them down. Burn your doodles and writings, taking care to feel any emotions that are surfacing as you do this. Feel a sense of relief at having freed yourself from these negative emotions. Notice how much calmer you feel about expressing your needs. Contemplate and reflect quietly on how you might best approach the person you want help from. At a suitable moment, for example by cooking the person an extra special meal, share your needs and tell your friend/relative/partner what it would mean to have them meet your needs. Also See: Your potential reveals genuine friends - Unfold Your Wings p.132-138 How to Use Inner Guidance to Meet Other People's Needs Back to Teach Yourself Inner Guidance   You can Print this page (this link opens a new window, with just the text you need) Inner Guidance Training - Home Page

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