Inner Guidance Training
How to Use Inner Guidance
to Have Your Needs Met
Introduction
Paradoxically we can become obsessed with ourselves by focusing
on meeting others needs at the expense of our own. This happens
because we are out of balance. We have a right to express our needs
and to have them met by others. However when we do try and have
our needs met we often express ourselves badly or awkwardly and
do not achieve the result we desire. This happens because the way
we are asking for our needs to be met conveys feelings of bitterness
and resentment.
For Example
Susan wanted her husband to help more with the housework. She felt
she was carrying an unfair share of the work involved in keeping
house and minding children. She had been feeling this way for many
months but had said nothing. As she became increasingly tired and
worn out, feelings of bitterness and resentment grew. Then one day
when the baby was crying and she had been alone all day, her husband
came in from work and sat down in front of the television to watch
the news as normal. When he asked her what was for tea that evening,
she flew into a temper and accused her surprised husband of being
lazy and uncaring. However her angry communication towards her husband
did not have the desired effect and she was left to get the tea
and look after their baby on her own.
An Exercise in Using Inner Guidance to Have Your Needs Met
Think of something you need and deserve - a need that is not being
met by people close to you. Feel any bitterness and resentment you
are holding around not having this need met. Express these feelings
in doodles, or write them down. Burn your doodles and writings,
taking care to feel any emotions that are surfacing as you do this.
Feel a sense of relief at having freed yourself from these negative
emotions. Notice how much calmer you feel about expressing your
needs. Contemplate and reflect quietly on how you might best approach
the person you want help from. At a suitable moment, for example
by cooking the person an extra special meal, share your needs and
tell your friend/relative/partner what it would mean to have them
meet your needs.
Also See:
Your potential reveals genuine friends - Unfold Your Wings p.132-138
How to Use Inner Guidance
to Meet Other People's Needs
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Teach Yourself Inner Guidance
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