One of the more important points I have made in writing about the "Nine Principles for Happiness and Healing" has been the idea that you really do create your own life and your own reality.
I know this idea has become a kind of personal growth cliche that many of us have heard over and over. Many people, after continuing to experience the same old ups and downs and personal dramas over many years, get to the point where they dismiss this idea as charming but useless - or just plain wrong. "If I'm creating this, then I'm certainly not doing it on purpose," they say. "It sure seems like this is HAPPENING to me, rather than that I'm creating it." They just assume that it's all BS because "this and this and this and this are going on for me, and I have no control over it, and anyone who thinks I'm creating this doesn't understand what I'm going through." Essentially, they are resigning themselves to be a victim of their circumstances.
We live in a universe of infinite complexity, and many forces - way too many to keep track of - operate on us. Yes, it is true that we are NOT in control of everything that happens, because we are not in control of most of those infinite other parts of the universe.
In fact, the only thing you have total and complete control over is...
....YOUR OWN MIND.
That is, if you learn how to exercise it.
Luckily, this one thing - your mind - that you do have control over gives you tremendous power. By exercising control over your mind, you can get the rest of those infinite other parts of the universe to begin to march in formation.
The person who says, "If I'm creating this, it certainly isn't on purpose," is right. They are not creating what is happening to them "on purpose." Who would purposely create failure, or bad relationships, or any other suffering? As I said in Principle #6, you can only do something that is not good for you, that is harmful to you, if you do it unconsciously. This means if you are creating something you don't want, you must be doing so unconsciously. Your mind is running on automatic pilot, based on "software" (unconscious programming) installed when you were too young to know any better, by parents, teachers, friends, the media, and other experiences and influences.
The key is to become more conscious, more aware... to get yourself off automatic pilot. Once you do this, you stop creating all the dramas and other garbage you don't want in your life.
How do you do this? One way, of course, is to use the Centerpointe program, because listening to Holosync increases your ability to be consciously aware. As you continue with the program, doing this becomes easier and more automatic. That "watcher" part of you becomes stronger and stronger, until it is watching over everything, and with that degree of conscious awareness, it is pretty difficult to create anything that is not beneficial for you.
You can help things along, however, by remembering and using a very important piece of wisdom. It's the fact that whatever you focus on manifests as reality in your life.
You are always focusing on something, whether you are aware of it or not. If I spent some time with you, and heard your history, I could tell you what you are focusing on. How? By looking at the results you are getting in your life. The results you get are always the result of your focus.
The problem is, this focus is usually not conscious focus, it's automatic focus. We unconsciously focus on something we don't want, and then when we get it we feel like a victim and don't even stop to think that we created it in the first place. And what is more, we don't realize we could choose to create something completely different if we could only get out of the cycle of unconsciously focusing on something other than what we want.
If you have a significant negative emotional experience (say, for instance, a relationship in which you are abused or mistreated in some way), a part of you is going to say: "Okay, I get it. There are people out there who can and will hurt me. Relationships can be dangerous and painful. I have to watch out for these people [or sometimes, relationships in general] and avoid them."
Unfortunately, to watch out for them and avoid them, you have to focus your mind on "people who could hurt me," or "bad relationships," and that focus draws more of what you don't want to you... AND... actually makes these things you don't want (at least initially) attractive to you, so when they appear in your life you are drawn to them. This is why many people keep having one relationship after another with the same person, but in different bodies.
This, of course, applies to everything, not just relationships. I'm just using relationships as an example.
Focusing on what you do not want, ironically, makes it happen. Focusing on not being poor makes you poor. Focusing on not making mistakes causes you to make mistakes. Focusing on not having a bad relationship creates bad relationships. Focusing on not being depressed makes you depressed. Focusing on not smoking makes you want to smoke. And so on. I think you get the idea.
The truth is, your mind cannot tell the difference between something you think about or focus on that you DO want, and something you think about or focus on but do NOT want. The mind is a goal-seeking mechanism, and an extremely effective one at that. Already, all the time, it is elegantly and precisely creating exactly what you focus on. You are already a World Champion Expert at creating whatever you focus on. You couldn't get any better at it, and you don't need to get any better at it.
When you focus on anything, your mind says: "Okay, we can do that," and starts figuring out how to do it. It doesn't ask whether you're focusing on it because you want it or because you do not want it. It ALWAYS assumes you want what you focus on and then it goes and makes it happen. The more frequent and the more intense the focus, the faster and more completely you will create what you have focused on, which is why intense negative experiences create intense focus on what you do not want, and tend to make you re-create what you don't want, over and over.
Most of the time, for most people, all the focusing and thinking is going by at warp speed, on automatic, without much, if any, conscious intention.
Your job is to learn how to direct this power by consciously directing your focus to the outcomes you want.
Once you do, everything changes. This does, however, take some work, because at first you have to swim upstream against the current of your old, unconscious habits, and the current can be swift and strong.
First, you have to discover all the things you focus on that you do not want, and I'm willing to bet there are quite a few - way more than you think. To the degree you're getting what you don't want, you are focusing, albeit unconsciously, on what you don't want. Spend some time over the next few weeks, then, making a list of all the things you do NOT want as you notice yourself thinking about them.
Second, you have to get very clear about what you DO want. Then, you have to examine each of the things you want and be sure they are not just something you do NOT want in disguise. For instance, saying "I want a relationship where I am treated well" would not even be an issue if you had not had relationships where you were not treated well, and even in making this seemingly positive statement you are focusing on not wanting to be mistreated. Saying "I want a reliable car" wouldn't even come up if you weren't focusing on the fact that you don't want a car that breaks down and needs a lot of repairs.
After you've sorted out the things you habitually focus on that you do not want, and know what you do want, you have to begin to notice each time you think about an outcome you do not want, and consciously change your thinking, right in that moment, so you are instead focusing on what you do want.
Remember, you do NOT have to avoid things to be happy and get what you want. The urge to avoid something is a result of having had a negative emotional experience regarding that thing, and trying to avoid things requires you to focus on them, which tells your brain to create them. Not good.
You will be surprised how often you are thinking about what you do not want, how difficult it is to catch yourself doing it every time, and -- most of all -- how difficult it is to switch your thinking to what you DO want. There is a strong momentum to keep thinking about that thing you want to avoid. As I said, the current is strong and swift, especially at first.
The solution? Practice, practice, practice. Persistence, persistence, persistence.
It's a very good idea to write down what you want, very specifically, so that your Fairy Godmother, were she to read it, would know exactly what to give you without any additional explanation. Then, read what you have written to yourself, preferably out loud, several times a day, while seeing yourself, in your mind, already having what you want. The more emotion you can bring to it, the better. Then, take whatever action is available to begin moving toward what you want. A good time to do this reading and visualizing is when you first wake up and right before you go to bed.
I know this is work. Do it anyway. There is a price for everything, and this is the price you must pay to get what you want. Be prepared to pay it. It will be worth it, I promise. And be prepared to pay for a while before you get results. Stick with it.
Another way to change your focus is to ask questions. As an example, I'll ask you one right now. What did you have for breakfast this morning? To answer this question (even to just internally process the question), you had to shift your focus from whatever your mind was focused on (hopefully, this article) to today's breakfast. This means that to change your focus, all you have to do is... ask yourself a question! It also means you better be careful what questions you ask yourself.
Good questions include: "How can I get X?" "How can I do X?" "How can I be X?" By asking these kinds of questions, you get your mind to focus on what you want to have, do, or be. Then, your mind takes over and answers the question... solves the problem... and creates what you want. You just have to provide the focus, take whatever action presents itself, and be persistent (some things take time).
I would do away with questions like: "What's wrong with me?" or "Why can't I find someone to love me?" and so on. Your mind will find an answer to any question you give it, including these dis-empowering questions.
Learn to say "How can I...?" when you don't know what to do, instead of "I can't," and (if you are persistent in asking) the universe will send you the answer, every time. Learn to be conscious in what you focus on and your whole life will change.
This all may seem very utopian to you, or overly simplistic, or like a lot of work. I assure you it is not utopian (it's the way all successful people think), it IS simple, but not simplistic, and yes, it is work, at first. The great Napoleon Hill, who spent over 60 years studying the most effective and most successful people of the 20th century, concluded that - without exception, mind you - "whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve." He at first suspected there had to be exceptions, but toward the end of his life he said he had to admit he had not found ANY.
Go over that again: "Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve."
It will take some time to learn how to consciously focus your mind. It will require some effort. You will fail many times, and it will seem difficult. But at a certain point you will "get it" and at that point it will become as automatic as the unconscious focusing you have been doing. When that happens, a whole new universe of power will open to you.
And keep listening to those Holosync soundtracks!
Director, Centerpointe Research Institute