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Clearing the Way

"My boyfriend is afraid of falling in love because he doesn't want any commitment"

Dear Ayal,

Am a lady of 23 years old from Lebanon, a business lady, an ex-model, pretty, beautiful, sexy, dynamic & all what men desire from me. But i've a little problem here my boyfriend 30 years old don't want to fall in love with me, he's afraid from falling in love cause he doesn't want any commitment. I love him & want badly to marry him & have kids. What can i do to make him forget his ex, while she doesn't have the prestige of our both families? Help me pls. To make him mine. We're living together most of the time.

Well, dear one, all you can do is be yourself, and trust that. Trust is such a crucial part of living, whether it be in yourself, in your work, or in your relationships. We can't "make" someone else love us - we can't "change" another. We can't "make" another forget what has been a part of their lives. But, we can trust that all is happening as it is meant to - that there is a Divine Order and timing to everything. We can BE loving, instead of needing someone else to prove their love us. And we can BE compassionate, and supportive of another's healing process. We can also speak our truth. That is one of the most wonderful and powerful gifts we can offer ourselves and any other human being. What we have to give is our own truth. When we tune into that, and calmly express that, then we stand strong, like a tree with deep roots, and nothing can blow us over. If you desire these things with him, you can share that with him. That is being true to yourself and your life goals and your needs. If he is frightened about making a commitment to another person because he feels wounded from his marriage dissolving, then you have a number of options...

  1. You can be patient with his process and with him, and decide that you are willing to wait for him to be ready to make a commitment, and accept how things are presently.

  2. You can set a time limit with him, telling him how long you will be willing to wait, and after that time is up, you leave the relationship - but if you do that, then you must be willing to back yourself up and do what you say you will do, or else you lose credibility with him as well as with yourself.

  3. You can decide that he really will not make a commitment to you, and if that is too painful for you, then you can choose to find another relationship that will give you what you need.
Blessings, Ayal

355. "I have absorbed a bunch of other people's energy and can't rid my body of it"


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