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"I am trying to find emotional causes for the physical pain I am suffering"

Dear Ayal,

I have been suffering from backache for two years, I have looked for help from many doctors, physiotherapists, and other experts but to no avail. I am now being seen to by some doctors who specialize in the issue of pain itself. They say its probably fibromyalgia and the medicaments they have given me have notably relieved the pain. Apart from looking at the physical side of this, I have tried to find an answer in the emotional side of things and as can be expected, I can identify certain events in my life which have probably contributed to the continued pain. But I think I have reached my limit and I cannot go any further. I need a light to shine upon the road to reflection and as a consequence, to healing.

Hi - well, there are a lot of things going on here that you need to see and deal with. As you deal with them, your back situation will, in all likelihood, improve. One of the first things that showed up was an issue with your Inner masculine energy. You need to start taking responsibility for making decisions and you need to develop your own vigorous life forces of will. You have, instead of doing that, been blaming others for what is going on in your life. You have come from the place of being a victim, and you tend to have morbid and fear based thoughts. It is important for you to begin practicing positive thinking. Using the olive green Aura-Soma pomander will help to support you in doing this. You can order it at

It is very important that you start listening to and following your own inner voice and guidance. Trusting yourself, and taking responsibility for yourself and your life. In this way you become self supporting (the back symbolizes this in one's life) and have your own inner authority. Your self identity, your sense of who you are, somewhere along the way got destroyed, and due to this, you feel that you have to maintain a protective shield around yourself, which has created you not being able to share affection with others.

There is a fear, a false belief you carry around that you did something which caused your family to reject you. This has led to a deep sadness, depression (depression comes from not facing some core fear that you have), a deep sense of anxiety, of feeling adrift, and a sense of not being supported. The back has to do with feeling supported, and the coccyx or foundation of the spine rests in the pelvic basin, which is the place of one's ancestral roots - the place where we are rooted, or supported, as a tree is rooted in the ground. This is first chakra stuff. I invite you to read about that in Caroline Myss's book, 'Anatomy of the Spirit'. Also, you need to pay attention to information on the 2nd chakra as well. It's a powerful book, and will help you a lot.

You are needing to cleanse your space of a lot of toxic energy. It's called an extraction. You can do this by contacting someone competent and of a high vibration who works with shamanic healing. Ask them to do this for you.

There is an issue showing up that has to do with ethics and honor in relationships. When this shows up, usually it refers to a lack of trusting how people will behave in relationship - that some betrayal or unclean way of relating has been going on, and then that is what you always expect will happen in any relationship. For you, it is important to know that true gold is in the heart: to look within yourself for your own inner development. This involves, once again, not blaming others, but moving from the place of the child, or victim, into the place of the true, mature adult who makes her own decisions and stands up for herself, speaking her truth calmly, from a place of inner power. If something is going on, then, that doesn't feel good or appropriate, you state that and speak your truth. That is being self supportive.

There is a need to cut cords to someone you feel is an enemy to you. Read the article on cutting cords listed at the end of the home page.

Some other products that will support you in this healing are flower essences, which can be ordered from The Flower Essence Society. They are:

  1. chaparral, for cleansing of psychic toxins and trauma -3 drops 3 times a day for 2 months
  2. yerba santa, for grief in the heart - 3 drops 3 times a day for 2 weeks
  3. cayenne and Indian paintbrush to develop your will power - each of these, take2 drops 4 times a day for 4 weeks
  4. rescue remedy for shock and trauma - 4 drops twice a day for 2 months
Also, taking some St. John's Wort tincture to relax your muscles and to help with anxiety would be good. I'd say 2 drops 4 times a day for 3 months.

Blessings, Ayal

296. "I'm fed up with my boyfriend accusing me of things I haven't done"

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