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"What healing might you suggest for cancer and expressing my grief"

Greetings Ayal,

My mother has a type of melanoma kidney cancer. What alternative healing methods might you suggest for her. Is there an emotional and/or spiritual connection that I could share with her to help. ALSO, I am having trouble expressing my grief about this and could use more support from my wife. How do I let her know I REALLY need her right now?

Blessings, a caring son

Dear Caring Son - What is showing up for your mother is a deep sadness in relation to inner child issues. She is also needing to cut the cords to her father regarding these inner child issues. She never developed her creativity, and there is some deep sadness going on for her about that. There is a lot she wanted out of life that she did not get. There is healing needing to happen in her 2nd chakra, which deals with the giving and receiving of physical, mental, and spiritual pleasure. There is definitely an issue that she has regarding a lack of affection, of feeling deprived, and rejected by the family. She suffers from morbid thoughts and guilt. The guilt seems to have something to do with not feeling she had enough courage. She has felt useless, and her self esteem has been dependent upon others. Cancer is created from feelings of betrayal. Often it can be very useful to get to the core of these issues of betrayal in order to defeat the cancer. Taking responsibility that we create our own reality and our own life scenarios can be very useful at such times, if one is ready to do so. What would be the brilliance and purpose for her creating a family in which she felt betrayed and of no use? What would be the lesson she came in to learn?

It would be good for her to say this, 4 times a day for the next 3 years:

"I sponsor myself to the Creator, the Cosmic All, the Masters, and the Creator Entity to have the re-fill of the Creator's consciousness and energies: 111.10 health patterns."
Two aura soma products would be helpful: the first, the olive green pomander, for courage, and the Sanat Kumara and Lady Venus Kumara, for helping with all the various facets of a task. It helps to being the divine into the everyday. These products can be ordered at

As for getting the support you need at this time from your wife, the best way is to let your needs be known to her in a gentle and loving way. The more you are willing to be open with your feelings, gently sharing them, without blaming others in any way for your need, the more others can be there to support you. Often, when there is a lot of emotional charge on an issue, and the possibility of losing a parent is one of the largest emotional issues one can deal with, there can be a tendency to either:

A) shut down and hold it all inside, and feel resentful that no one is understanding your needs;

B) blame the other person, push them away with your energy or tone of voice, or snap at them as a way to relieve feelings.

Neither one of these choices allows people to feel safe with one another. For supportive communication to occur, there must be self awareness of one's needs, and also trust. The trust comes from how we ask for those needs. We must fully believe that someone will meet our needs in a loving and caring way. If we believe that we will be ridiculed or shut down by another, then that is the reality we will create happening.

When one wants understanding and support from another, it is equally important, besides gently asking for it, to then be willing to open up and share one's feelings when asked. This can be a challenge, especially when feelings are very intense. The person needing to share often feels vulnerable and may, as mentioned, have a fear that if they do share, they may be ridiculed or misunderstood. That can be alleviated if, when asking for the support and understanding of another, one specifies what one is needing. In other words, one might say:

"I am really feeling vulnerable right now and I am wondering and would appreciate it so much if you would be willing to simply listen to my feelings with out judging me, or giving me advice" or "What I am needing right now is for you just to hold me," etc.
Whatever is needed can be specifically asked for in a way that causes the other person to want to be on your side and give it. It is very important not to alienate the person one wants support from by blaming them in any way. Being willing to use "I" statements to share what you, yourself, are feeling - the willingness to be vulnerable, is very important.

It is often equally difficult for a person to ask another what the matter is, or how they are feeling, because they also are risking being replied to with sarcasm, or upset, or blame, or, just as difficult, silence. They risk reaching out and being shunned or ignored. Both people are taking a risk to reach out to one another, and if both people are aware of the risk the other is taking to reach out, they hopefully will do their best to respond to one another will sensitivity and kindness, even if emotions are running high. Best wishes for the Highest Good for your mother as she travels along her journey.

Blessings, Ayal

283. "I'm embarrassed as my drug habit has destroyed my teeth"

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