Trans4mind Home Page
Clearing the Way

"It's nonsense that everybody creates their own experiences!"

Hi there,

Today I read your "Laws of the Universe", and could not get over the first one, claiming that everybody creates their own experiences. Well, this is not the first time that I hear that nonsense, but it is now that I am fed up with it and write to someone! Apparently, you had a very sheltered life - no wonder, since you're communicating with Archangels, lol.

As a baby, I was put into a concentration camp; from that special camp, I was the only child of my age to survive and finally got released (this was not my last bad experience, believe me!) Now - will you in all sincerity tell me that an 18 months old child "creates" that for him/herself? And what about even younger babies who get abused by their parents ? They "create" that? I would appreciate an honest answer. But please spare me the "Karma" thing! If that would be your answer, don't bother writing at all!

Maybe you can get the Great Michael to "give me a call" - I would have something to say to him! I hope for you that your life will stay as good and sheltered as it has been up to date!

Well, I hear your anger, and I hear that reading this philosophy definitely triggered some difficult issues and feelings for you. I honor that, and am glad that you wrote in. What you bring up is an important thing. Firstly, though, as for my life being sheltered, that is an assumption. It sounds as if you think I've sat in a cozy chair all my life spewing out philosophy, but that I've never faced any difficulties. How can any of us really know what another's person's life has been like, or what they have had to deal with? I could give you my life history - there are many, many trials there as well. Have I been in a concentration camp? No. However, I spent many years desperately struggling as a single mother, I have faced what seemed to me at times to be terrible betrayal and abandonment; for the last 5 years I have been healing from a life threatening illness that has at times had me so weak I couldn't hold a spoon. We all go through our own challenges and tribulations. To think that you have, but others haven't faced pain and difficulty is a misconception, I think. We all do, each in our own way.

I also had trouble at first accepting that even as children we are responsible for our reality, but I believe now that it is so. That does not mean anyone else has to accept that philosophy. But, my belief is that as souls, we do have a contract that we have determined ahead of time for our growth, and we come in to fulfill that contract in order to grow in some way. I think, as we learn that we have free will, and therefore the right and ability to make choices, that we can choose to make wiser choices - we learn to make wiser choices as we evolve in consciousness Then we are able to create experiences that are more loving and gentle to ourselves, whereby we do not need to experience abuse or other such terribly traumatic things.

It is tremendously difficult to see some of the horrible experiences children as well as adults go through. I don't think that we necessarily have to continue to create them. I think that the lessons we go through are there to teach us to honor and respect all of life - not only human life, but ALL of life. Sometimes we have to go through apparently horrendous lessons to learn that. However, I also believe that since we are made up of soul essence, that even if we have experienced something seemingly awful, and our physical bodies die, we do not really die - we heal from our experiences, and we evolve to create experiences that are more lovingly based.

A master from India once told a story of watching people dying horribly on a battlefield. He was outraged, and he cried out to God "How can this be?" The next moment, he saw that there were angels ministering to each person on that field, and that who they truly were had not died - their souls had not died, but they were simply changing form, with the loving care of those who watch over us. Then, he understood. It was an epiphany for him.

This story has helped me many times when I too, have felt outraged. It has helped me to understand what is really going on in this universe, with us in physical form. I choose to believe that. You may not.

How do we change anything if we do not believe that we have the power to do so? Others can believe in a happenstance universe where shit just happens. I choose not to. I have seen the synchronicity of events far too often to believe that, and I have seen how indeed my life and the lives of others shift and change form, sometimes immediately, as soon as what we think and believe changes. Life is all energy. It is energy wavelengths and patterns. When those patterns shift, so too does our reality. We do come in with, I believe, and develop during our lives, various misconceptions. These misconceptions, or distorted patterns, then do create certain realities, I believe. It's like the old adage: if you're carrying a glass of water and you think you'll drop it, in all likelihood you will, unless another thought comes in that says, "No, I won't drop this glass."

I do believe that our thoughts and beliefs create our reality. I have seen it in action. What you choose to believe is, of course, up to you.

Thanks again for writing in to share your feelings. Life is a great forum for exchanging ideas.

Blessings, Ayal

Dear Ayal,

First and foremost let me thank you for your prompt and detailed answer to my letter. To be honest- I did not expect to hear from you, for two reasons: 1. My letter was angry and cynical, and I thought myself it did not deserve an answer; 2. I was totally surprised to get something from an American without sending a check upfront, lol.

I am very well aware of other people's suffering, but I often have the impression that I have too much of it - like what 7 other people have in different fields - I have it ALL (war, concentration camp, a mother who used to beat me so severely that she would break wooden hangers on my NAKED little behind for years and years, a husband who would beat me up and cheat with a friend on me, losing one child to miscarriage, another through abduction by the father, a five year divorce procedure up to the Supreme Court of Justice in Germany and losing everything to the abusive husband because he was a high-ranked lawyer for the government, life-threatening illnesses, 14 operations, my work published in a book and newspapers but never got paid a cent, etc). I did not say that to over-trump what you told me about your life, but just to illustrate my point that I have more than my fair share of the negative stuff. I was fine though with the help of Dr. Joseph Murphy's books and lots of meditation. Then I met an old high school sweetheart at a school reunion who lived in the USA, and 11 years ago, we got married and I moved here to the USA, leaving everything behind that I had built for me out of nothing. And then all started to slide downward again!

I tried my best, but was not able to make a single friend here in the US. Oh yes, I have lunch friends, belonged to several women's clubs, and get along fine with my husband's friends - but there is nobody to TALK to - the women here are all so concerned with the OUTSIDE of their heads, they don't bother to put anything INSIDE! How can one be friends with people who are only able to talk about the newest wrinkle-reducing procedure or a sale at Saks and Bloomindale's? And redecorating my house five times a year is also not my priority. And the children here! I traveled literally all over the world, I was also a teacher, and everywhere children adored me. Here one cannot even smile at a child in the grocery store, because they start screaming like I would go off with them and have them for dinner - they are so messed up! I am so unhappy in this country! I live in the countryside, so I am alone a lot, and the computer is really helpful there. Recently, I started to leave the chat rooms alone and look more and more into spiritually oriented websites, that's how I found yours.

Hope I did not bother or bore you with my lamentation.

And a last point: For a while, I also used to believe in re-incarnation, well, I even wrote a dissertation about how it is treated in the scriptures of the mainstream religions, lol, but I gave it up. My best friend of 40 years killed herself several years ago; we had promised each other: the one who goes first will come and tell - she did not, and believe you me - IF there is an afterlife, she would have done ANYTHING to keep her promise! By the way - 15 people that I knew very well - friends, relatives, colleagues - have committed suicide! OK, now, thank you for listening, and you did more with your letter than you can ever imagine - you gave me the hope that even in America one can find women who THINK with their heads, not just put make-up on it!

P.S. - When I wrote to you, I thought you were a man - or I had not written at all!

Thanks for writing back. Well, I certainly hear that you have gone through a tremendous amount of difficulties in your life. I am glad that you felt safe with me and that my response to you was helpful. I think the fact that you found the web site is a good thing - perhaps a turning point for you, because what you created this time around, by writing in, was to find something you felt connected to - someone you saw as valuable and offering you more of what you were looking for, instead of someone who would abuse you or let you down in some way.

When we don't find what we are looking for in life - I believe - it is because we have other beliefs that supersede that. Under currents, if you will, that take us in a different direction than the one we might wish to go. We have to uncover these undercurrents if we wish to manifest what we truly desire. For instance, you seem to express a lot of judgment on others... what you see or experience in the world is superficiality, dysfunction, greed, pain, loneliness, and distress. I believe that what we choose to focus on is what we will then manifest in our lives. I think that you are seeking love - but how can you manifest that when you do not see from the eyes of love? How can life offer you trustworthy experiences when you do not trust? You do not allow them, or believe in them, even though, I think, that is what you desire most. True, no?

Have you heard the story of the pickpocket who is walking down the street and encounters a saint? All he sees is his pockets. What we put our attention on is what we will find. I have many, many friends whom I consider to be wise, wise women. I expect women to be that - to live up to what being a powerful woman is all about. I manifest them into my life because that is what I value, put my attention on, and therefore manifest. I attract to myself my own wavelength, or vibration, in other words. This works both ways. If I have issues that are based on negative or disempowering beliefs, I will also attract that. Then I have to do some profound soul searching to uncover what is within me that is manifesting that in my life. That is taking self responsibility, and, as far as I know, the only way to grow - and to change one's life.

You experienced, at the earliest of ages, one of the most atrocious, insane energies on the planet. That is bound to have you look at life and expect the worst, to say the least. That is what you immediately saw, were born into, and experienced. That is a huge, huge, huge challenge to overcome. From then on, your life continued to be based on abuse, disempowerment, abandonment, pain - you name it. From my belief system, I would ask you this: What was the brilliance and purpose of your soul choosing to experience that? By claiming responsibility for choosing to experience that, you immediately move from being a victim to a creator endeavoring to learn something very powerful. Then you have Power, and when you have Power, you have the ability to create your life differently. Then there is no outpouring of blame or judgment onto others.

There is a story of a young rabbi who comes to a small town where there is an already established rabbi of great repute and wisdom. The young rabbi decides that the only way to get himself a following is to publicly disprove the rabbi's wisdom. So, he catches a small bird, and goes to the rabbi, when he is teaching in a public place, and asks the rabbi to tell him whether the bird he has in his closed hand is alive or dead. If the rabbi says the bird is alive, the young rabbi had decided he would kill the bird, thus showing everyone that the other rabbi was fallible. So, he approaches the rabbi amidst a crowd of people and says "Rabbi, is the bird in my hand alive or dead?" The rabbi looks knowingly at the young man and smiles gently, saying "My son. That is entirely up to you."

So, too, with our own lives. What we create, I believe, is entirely up to us. What we choose to see - how we choose to view life - is entirely up to us. You came in seeing horror. Do you choose to keep believing in that reality? Is it the only one? Or can you let that one go and create something else? A big, big challenge. If you chose that for yourself, I think that you must be strong enough to accomplish it, yes? You survived the first. For what purpose? To continue believing that life is that horrible, or that there is something else?

It's entirely up to you.

My sense is that you came in to learn that love is the strongest force there is - to learn that we indeed create from our own inner landscape. If you looked for, and fully believed in LOVE, that would manifest in your life. Instead, however, you actually believe in mistrust - and that is what you get. Unfortunately, it makes one ill, as you said. I feel your desire for love - I also feel a very beautiful, but deeply wounded soul beneath the mistrust and the pain. What would happen if you allowed yourself to love and trust? If indeed, we all do create our own reality, your fear of loving and trusting would have you create what...? Nevertheless, I think that that is what you are seeking for so desperately. You do want that, I think, more than anything. The piece that has been missing is your willingness to see that you must first hold that energy inside yourself - then the world will reflect what you are, what you see out of your eyes, back to you. The pickpocket who is looking for enlightenment instead of someone's pockets to pinch will find a saint.

If you live with pessimism, expect to be abused, betrayed, let down, abandoned, disempowered - if you expect the worst, you will get it. The Universe is an expert mirror. But, instead of then beating ourselves up for having created what we have, we can choose to see the power of it - we see the power of learning something so invaluable, so tremendous, that we had to go on a difficult, heroic journey to find it. And, when we learn that we can Love, then our journeys become more filled with Love, and not pain. Challenges, yes, so we continue to grow - but challenges we set up for ourselves that are not abusive - that strengthen us, but not through pain.

Many blessings, Ayal

232. "Should I not have emotional attachment to be happy?"

Click here to donate & send a question to Ayal:
Clearing the Way   |   Laws of the Universe   |   Recommended Links

Looking for personal healing?

Trans4mind Training is our series of online, interactive video workshops. We present the most effective methods of personal development, combined with support from expert life coaches.
The human heart made visible.

A great way to support your Trans4mind Training is to use these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...
Get a free Hypnosis Download at Facebook

Welcome to the New Wave in Meditation Technology

Click here to learn more about the iAwake Profound Meditation Program
The iAwake Profound Meditation Program is a way of enhancing your meditation practice, making meditation not only easier and more enjoyable, but also more efficient and effective.
Profound Meditation provides the smoothest, deepest, richest, most profound meditation experience available anywhere...
Here is a link to a free 20-minute track from iAwake Technologies - a sample of the type of tools that will deepen your meditation immediately and help you quickly become a successful meditator. It's the opening track of iAwake's flagship product, the Profound Meditation Program, called the iAwake Experience...
Learn More and Download the iAwake Experience
I think you'll find this technology a tremendous aid on your transformative journey of becoming your best and most creative self - and you can get started today!