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Clearing the Way

"My boyfriend keeps leaving me and then coming back"

Hi Ayal,

I was in a relationship with my boyfriend for two and a half years. We never had much in common, but we both had a sensitive side, we could talk to one another easily and right from the beginning we shared everything. We also had a very passionate realtionship, and we couldn't keep our hands off one another. But when we started sharing a house we realized how different we were and then my boyfriend started ignoring my messages and finally we split. We have split up and then got back together a few times. On my behalf I thought we could change things and make them better. But my boyfriend felt we kept arguing and so he couldn't put up with it. He did tell me he loved me each time we got back together and things improved, but then a few months down the line he felt confused and bored of the relationship.

I love him dearly and would like to take things forward but he isn't replying to my messages and seems to think it's not meant to be. He had previously split from his six year girlfriend with whom he has a child, could this be the cause of our problems? He did say to me once he could not love me the way he did her, but when he does come back I feel he tries to make it work. I know he will come back again after a few months. What should I do - is this a dead end realtionship???

Hi - well, what seems to be going on here is that your inner child, the little girl inside of you, wants and needs to be loved, and is hoping that this guy will love you more than anyone else. She's so afraid that she won't be loved that she is desperately holding onto the relationship, even though it isn't really giving you what you are looking for. Even though you say you don't have much in common, and even though it doesn't work out when you do live together, even though he ignores your messages to him, still it sounds as if you are wanting him so much because then you will know you are loved.

Did you experience not getting the love you wanted or needed as a little girl? If so, you are re-playing that pattern with this guy. Trying to get someone to love you and be there for you when he isn't. This is a pattern that needs to get changed or else you will continue to attract partners who will not be there for you. Would you still want and need this relationship so much if you were giving that love to yourself? This is all about you loving yourself - knowing that you are worth loving and then giving that love to yourself. Then, you can enjoy being loved by another, but you don't rely on it to make you feel good about yourself.

There are some issues going on here about ethics and honor in relationship. It doesn't sound as if too much of that is happening here. You are needing to know that you can have a relationship that truly honors who you are and honors the kind of loving, committed relationship you choose to have. He says he loves you, but then leaves if it gets boring, as you said, etc. That isn't real love or real commitment. Can you trust that you can have a relationship that does work out, that does honor you, and that does stay committed to being there, committed to working through the hard times, the boring times, instead of just there for having the fun times? Do you believe that you can love that way, and be loved that way in return? Do you know that you deserve to have that, and there's no need to put up with anyone who isn't willing to love deeply and do the inner work they need to do in order to be a loving and committed person in relationship?

You must believe that this kind of relationship is possible to create it. That people can be there for one another and do what they need to do to be clear, loving human beings. Do you believe that? Somewhere there seems to be a belief you are holding that must not believe that, that doesn't believe that you deserve it. If you find that this is so, read the Laws of the Universe, and play around with changing those beliefs using the formula for changing beliefs found there.

Also, using the turquoise Aura-Soma quintessence product called Maha Chohan would be helpful for you. It will encourage positive qualities and help in the release of feelings that need to be expressed. You can order it at Aura-Soma USA (830) 935-2355. Also, you have some spiritual confusion going on. Finding some good, spiritual teachings or a good meditation teacher would be very helpful for you. Ask to be guided to those teachings or teachers that are for your Highest Good.

Blessings, Ayal

182. "Stomach pains that I had years ago are now back. Why?"

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