Trans4mind Home Page
~ Making the Human Heart Visible ~

Looking for a better life?

Our online, interactive video workshops present the most effective methods of personal development, combined with personal support from expert life coaches.

Explore Article Library

Oral Sex for Her

Cunnilingus is one of the most pleasurable sexual activities, a great adventure of increased intimacy, and a learned art. Women want the works; they want to be indulged, pampered and there is NO end to just how much or for how long. Remember, this is about pleasing HER. If she gets the slightest hint you're giving the proverbial twenty tongue swirls across the clitoris cos it might buy you thirty minutes deep throat in return 'she will switch off!

Many men will come across the odd (pun intended) female with thighs that react like an oyster shell under attack from Joan Collins' jeweller. To access the treasures within, you have to understand what keeps the thighs locked up. Some women suffer from age-old guilt & shame and believe vaginas are 'ugly'. Communication, re- education & reassurance will go a long way towards overcoming inhibition. Create a pleasant atmosphere; some alcohol may help 'too much will just dampen responses. Don't rush her, and if music is the 'food of love' amp it up. Let her know how much you want to do this and how gorgeous she is. With an inhibited woman, it's often best to direct compliments towards her body as a whole. Compliment the vagina directly, and the focus may heighten inhibition. "You taste delectable" 'may' be in. "Your f*c*n' juices drive me wild," I'd suggest is most definitely out in this instance! If, on the other hand you have an uninhibited minx on your hands that's not telling you graphically what she thinks, she may like hearing it from you. Gauging inhibition should be easy. If her legs fall open naturally and she doesn't shy away from you looking, she is likely comfortable with you and herself.

Get comfortable before you start; you could be in this position for a long time. A few simple suggestions for positions, but always experiment:

Her lying back with her legs over your shoulders or around your waist. Propping up on pillows increases the view for both and elevates the pelvis.

Not sure what you are doing? If she sits over your face, she can help by moving freely towards what she likes.

Lie back over a stool or table narrow enough for her to stand over you with her legs either side 'this gets the legs right out of the way!

Sit on your knees in front of her. Doing this against a wall can be less intimidating for either if need be.
Down you go...
Remember, women are indulgent 'they want every inch of their bodies devoured, licked, sucked, nibbled and teased as you go down, (or up!).

Move from kissing her neck, to her breasts. If she appears tense with oral play, lead down with your hands, and follow with your mouth. Work down her stomach; move out and down her sides, back in and over her lower stomach. Catching the top of the pelvic bone and gently following the line down to her inner thighs can be good too. Build arousal with casual, nuzzling over the mons & the outer labia and pulling away again. Run your tongue up and down the inside of her thighs, tease gently and build to longer, more deliberate tonguing toward the vagina. Only when there is danger of your ears being ripped off, is it time to slide your tongue all the way in.

Tongue joy
The clitoris is the most responsive part of the vagina, let her know you are aware of it's location with a little initial attention, but build arousal more by exploring the rest of the vagina, without forgetting that most women love concentration on the clitoris. Too many men rely on the tongue alone, you have a WHOLE face and that helps if your tongue gets 'tired'.

Place the top of your mouth over the mons and massage by rocking your body back and forward. Once you have mastered the top of your jaw working on the mons, try tensing your tongue and thrusting it in and out of at the same time.

Biting like an animal will get you nowhere but slapped. Gentle chewing and sucking, once aroused, increases blood flow to tissues and can increase sensation. Try encasing the whole vagina with your mouth, sucking all up slowly, holding, and then lapping your tongue, within, vertically over the clitoris. With practice, keeping up encased sucking draws down the insides making it easier to get G Spot access. Vibrators are poor competitors to tongues anyway, but if you want to trounce the toys; hold your face over the whole vulva, flatten your tongue over the clitoris and shake your head from side to side. Use your tongue with pressure that's soft and slow, or tense the tip of the tongue to create varying sensations. For some women, dependant on how responsive they are, gently circling the tissue surrounding the vaginal entrance with your tongue can induce orgasm, but for others it will do nothing but have them sighing, "Back to the clitoris, please". You are unlikely to disappoint by using the flattened end of your tongue in circular motions, on and around the clitoris.

Women can stay in the early throes of orgasm for a long time with oral. Trust me; they are not 'refusing' to orgasm, they are just in no rush to end the event once they have you thigh-clamped into place. It's a psychological endurance test women like 'how many orgasmic waves can they manage before they must succumb. If you sense orgasm is close, and those thighs, or the hold on your ears loosens even slightly, she is telling you, (perhaps unknown to herself) to move away from the clitoris briefly. (Not as far as the fridge for a beer!). A little prolonging is what's required 'women like that desperate begging stage'

This can last for hours technically, but when it IS time for orgasm, stick with what you are doing, increase the intensity and speed in unison with her responses. The overall thing to remember is make every move considered, fluent and never random. Women don't have instant come-down after orgasm. Continue light licking on the clitoris or around it if your partner is very sensitive. (Some women are too sensitive after orgasm to enjoy direct clitoral stimulation.) Clean up by all means, but no gross slurping at 300 DB's. Gently work back up her body kissing and caressing as you go, then tell her how good it was for YOU.

More fun!
Experiment and find out what she all likes during oral. Try massaging the inner thighs, stroking her stomach, sides, breasts, G spot, or anal stimulation -if she is willing. For most women, additional stimulation works best intermittently rather than constantly as response from G spot stimulation, (for example) detracts from, rather than enhances clitoral stimulation.

Some women can only orgasm during oral sex by feeling penetration too 'introduce a dildo. If your partner likes, but does not reach ecstasy with oral sex, adding a vibrator may help.

IF you have a willing partner who trusts you: Try blindfolding her, undressing her & some bondage. If she cannot see what is coming or react oral can work very well.

Another 'treat': bathe her first and give long massage before you start oral.

Forget the cream, the chocolate fudge, etc for once; it gets boring, naff and predictable.

Try cough drops or strong menthol mints. Suck till the sweet is partially dissolved and smooth, and then hold the sweet in your tongue, it can be tantalizing and different. The "oldie" ice cubes, is better combined with hot & cold sensation, alternate between ice and a hot drink.

Commencing oral through underwear and removing it later will give many women a playful revert back to adolescence and can be hugely erotic. Alternately, try edible underwear...

Shaving is optional, but it does heightened sensation.

Rule of thumb, women like build up to enjoy oral sex. Don't take this for granted though, some women love off the cuff rampant oral.

And simple fresh air is one of the ultimate additions to oral sex'

Girl's Footnote
Men aren't born with inbuilt handbooks on giving good oral. Nor can they be blamed for slobbering like over zealous Labradors if you don't show them what you want. Take hold of his head, guide his mouth and instruct him on exactly what you would like. The best oral sex is more like sex with his face. So, if you are quick to grind your hips against him during sex 'do the same with oral. Indicate clearly, and encourage him when he is doing something well. Good men want to get it right and adore giving oral 'educate these men and you won't look back. However, for those lazy bastards that think oral is a quick launch pad to sex and just don't want to improve 'adopt 'oyster' position fast 'they aint worth opening up for!

Experiment, experiment, experiment & enjoy!

Shan' is a new life writer who covers many subject areas, from sexuality & relationships, to creativity, abuse recovery and more. More of Shan's writing can be found at along with her in progress autobiography and a support and discussion forum


Careers & Employment
Grief & Loss
Kids & Teens
Public Speaking
Self Help
Self Improvement & Motivation
Sexual Relations
Stress Management
Travel and Leisure

From our extensive site, you'll find good info on many topics using this search:

A great way to support your Trans4mind Training is to use these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

  • The Next Level ~ Designed to radically boost your performance in any field. It's based on a technique used by top athletes and other successful people to help them make a big stride forward.
  • Create Your Own Reality ~ Use the power of your unconscious mind to transform your life.
  • Deeper Self Respect ~ Use hypnosis to connect with your true inner worth.
  • Detach From Fear ~ Tune out nervousness and anxiety with hypnosis.
  • Generalized Anxiety Treatment ~ Use hypnosis as a generalized anxiety disorder treatment and you can feel calm today.
  • Improving Concentration and Focus ~ Learn how to discipline, direct and command your mind to improve your performance.
  • Exercise Motivation ~ Give you powerful keys to getting back on track with your exercise - and staying there.
  • Overcoming Shyness ~ Provides an invisible security blanket allowing you to develop social ease and overcome shyness.
  • Quick Confidence Booster ~ An audio hypnosis session that's specifically designed to get you (quickly!) back on track.
  • Stop Negative Thoughts ~ Learn powerful hypnotic techniques to stop negative thoughts before they start.
  • Overcoming Procrastination ~ Let hypnosis help you get on with what you need to do, when you need to do it. Let nothing hold you back.
  • Think Thin ~ Use hypnosis to re-train your brain and lose weight naturally... that's how to get and stay slim.
  • Fall Asleep Fast ~ Relearn how to fall asleep fast and enjoy a good night's sleep.
Search on an issue that interests or concerns you...

Trans4mind Training is the best thing we've ever done! It's a series of interactive video workshops covering the key challenges we all face in life - to help you achieve greater inner peace and true fulfillment.
Copyright © 1997-2016 Trans4mind Ltd