How Information Kills Relationships
By Erik Kampe
Information that kills relationships refers to an outcome that happens when you just learn terms and facts without a meaningful context. It is the passive reception of information.
I call this content-focused learning and it kills passion in the bedroom and neuters any self-improvement effort.
With content-focused learning actions are completed without understanding the relationships between the terms and facts.
Think of robotic actions - when sexual health is approached through content focused learning it will always fail to produce any lasting passion or improved sexual health.
The classic example to illustrate this danger is the plethora of books on sexual techniques to improve sex life (i.e. improve your orgasm in 3 steps).
As your Intuition knows, techniques alone are not sufficient because they are very limited in what they can do to improve sexual relationship and pleasure.
Instructions for your lover to move their fingers in figure 8 motions around the clitoris with three pounds of pressure rarely translate into an intense orgasm for women.
We all have fallen into this trap at one time or another - how many of us have purchased or borrowed a Kama Sutra book?
What where the results?
Think of the attitude you and your partner had towards using the book as a guide? Was it constructive?
Did you try variations and seek and learn from each other outside of the information in the book?
Did you share your understanding of the picture with your partner?
Or did you passively look at the pictures and try various positions moving from one position to the other - judging the positions as stupid or too difficult?
Can you now understand how information can kill your sexual relationships?
Building passion through understanding is a creative and constructive act or,as I perfer to call it, art.
When information is used to construct new understanding, outside the source of the original information, a new relationship between things and people emerge - creativity will always spark passion and lead to fulfillment of desire.
Ultimately, sexual problems exist within the context of a relationship and in life -- they are not only about bodies and bedrooms.
In the real world sexual techniques must exist within a context between lovers. No book can account for all the contextual details of their readers. Information as content always has limited value - it is only a starting point and should never be confused with knowing.
What to do...
Learn how to recognize when you fall into the content-learning trap and attempt to apply techniques as an experiment. Play with the ideas rather that expect results.
Erik Kampe M.S., is a health author and expert in experiential learning. Erik removes the confusion of information overload and leads his clients in a process that teaches them how to become their own health expert. Experience an Odyssey of Body, Mind and Spirit - visit www.pathways-womens-sexual-health.com
About the Author
Copyright 2005. Reprint permission as is, only for website publication with web links www.pathways-womens-sexual-health.com active