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Teenage Separation

By Terri Amos

"Why are you here on this planet?"

That is the question I asked my daughter Mackenzie when she was seven years old. I was shocked by her deep immediate response. She said, "So people can watch me and learn."

I asked, "Do you mean to be a teacher?"

"No," was her reply.

"Do you mean to be an example?"

"Yes," she said. "I am here to be an example. I am here so people can watch me and learn."

Those were probably the most profound words Mackenzie has ever spoken. Like I mentioned so many times in my book, "Message Sent," she is a great teacher for me. By her example, I see and learn more about myself each and every day.

Mackenzie is almost twelve now and is separating from her dad and me. My spirit says this is normal, but my ego says, "Wait! Hold on! I miss you. You can't grow up quite so fast. I love you and don"t want to let you go."

If you have ever had children, you know how painful this separation process can be. You feel as if a part of your heart is ripping out. That's why you want to control it. But because I know that everything is a reflection to me, I have to go within and see what Mackenzie's spirit is showing me.

I imagine myself as a girl Mackenzie's age and ask her what is this sadness she is feeling. I am surprised by the answer. Terri, the pre-teen within me says, "I miss the little girl that I was. I am so torn. I just want to be hugged. But I can't. I have to grow up and be strong."

As I hear those words I mourn for that young girl inside of me. She had such pain separating. There was a part of her that wanted to be a cuddly little kid and then there was a side of her that felt she had to grow up. As a result, she separated from the little inner child in every aspect of her life. She pushed the little girl she had been down so deep that she forgot her. She no longer loved and acknowledged the little kid inside of her.

Now as I watch Mackenzie I am once again so thankful for the gift that she is showing me. I realize that the sadness I feel is not really about Mackenzie separating from me. It is the separation I created within myself a very long time ago. I never allowed myself to FEEL the emotions of it all.

I know that I have judged Mackenzie at times during this separation process. Now I realize that the feelings I have been projecting onto her are ones from the past. But because I am allowing myself to feel everything and am telling that pre-teen girl inside of me that she is accepted and loved for the separation process she went through years ago, I no longer need to control Mackenzie.

I am so thankful for this gift and for the many more I know will come. Mackenzie has reflected me as a little child. Now I guess it's time to see the teenager. Oh, boy! This ought to be fun!!!

About The Author

Terri Amos is a spiritual coach, motivational speaker, wife, mother and step-mom. It was on her path to self-discovery, self-acceptance, and true authenticity that Terri was guided through meditation to share the knowledge she was experiencing first hand in a unique journal that is spiritual, practical, revelatory and prescriptive. Titled, Message Sent, the book chronicles her day-to-day journey of challenges and healing with love, candor and humor. In addition, she offers the reader the benefit of her insight and inspirations and shares the tools she found helpful to herself.

Click on the link below to find out more about Terri Amos:


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