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Enhancing your Self-Esteem

Your self-esteem plays the biggest role in your life and influences your thoughts, ideas and decisions. You hear time and time again about how important having a high self-esteem is, yet most of us tend to find ways to lower it and keep it as low as it can possibly get. The reason behind this behavior is simply that you do not give yourself the credit you deserve and have not made yourself a true friend to your being. In getting to know and love yourself, you will then determine whether or not you are stable enough to enter in a relationship. In order to become one with someone, you need to be whole on your own.

Let us begin with your physical being first, since that is what society looks at most. How do you feel about your physical appearance? Most likely, you will first point out the things you do not like about yourself. Well, you are not alone. Almost everyone automatically puts himself or herself down first when looking in the mirror. Have you ever stopped and observed the things you do like about your physical self? You probably have not. It is time to start doing that. The next time you look at yourself, find the physical qualities you like and accept in your being. Why are we so hard on ourselves? Well, the truth is, we were not born with the attitude of putting our selves down. We adapted and taught ourselves to do so when we watched what being perfect meant in the eyes of others. We are constantly being flaunted with people who are thin, big on top, muscular, small waists and long legs on television and other advertisements, that we got convinced into believing that we must look a certain way in order to be admired, accepted and perfect in society. Remember, beauty and perfection is in the eye of the beholder and you should be that first beholder.

When you look at yourself in a mirror, all you see is the outside, but who is that person looking back at you? What does that person like and dislike? What goals does that person have? What are his or her hobbies? How could another being get to know you, if you do not even know yourself? What do you have to offer? Nothing if you lack the knowledge and information of who you are! This is why going through a self-check is important. You must dig deeper than your physical existence in order to realize your true self. Enter your mind and soul and find out what really makes you the person you are. If you have nothing to offer as far as your being is concerned, how can you have a relationship? You cannot!

Not all negatives thoughts are bad. Sometimes, occasional negatives thoughts help us open doors for improvements in our lives, which is wonderful. It is always important to remember not to give those negative thoughts more focus though. Pay most attention to the positive things about yourself and about the good things that are going on in your life.

Is it hard for you to fill your head with positive thoughts most of the time? Then you need to see what is getting in the way of it. Do you put yourself in situations that make you neglect the positive thoughts? Take a look at how you feel when doing certain things, and if they keep you from feeling positive - get out of that situation!!! What you then need to do is start looking at the beautiful things about life. Spend time with people who make you feel good and feel good about themselves, of course! You could even read books that make you feel great after reading them, because after reading them, you will put them down and look at the world in a more positive way, with much positive thoughts. Only you know what truly makes you feel good about life and yourself, so start providing yourself with those things. Give yourself the make over your mind and soul deserve!

Take pride in the things you have done and the things that you know and continue to learn. Never look at yourself as less intelligent as others or stupid for not knowing certain things. You are not Superman and neither is anyone else. No one can possibly know every single thing there is to know. What you know is what you took an interest in knowing and that is what builds your special character and you should be joyful about it. If you want people to respect you and consider you knowledgeable, then you yourself need to believe and realize that you are respectable and full of knowledge (and you are once you have looked for it and found it). When you feel good about yourself, you have a high self-esteem and when you have a high self-esteem, you shine and tell people how to treat you through your actions and behavior. If you go some place knowing what you need and what you want without fearing to ask for it, people will see and know that you are confident and intellectual because you know what you want and they will respect you for it.

So make time to dedicate your efforts into making yourself feel more confident and more attractive both physically and intellectually, and do not make excuses for yourself. Once your self-love has been discovered, you will then be able to give other people the attention and concentration they deserve. When two people have complete and stable self-health, they can complete each other in many ways they never thought possible! Be the best you can be and do you and your partner or future partner a favor by knowing and loving yourself so that when they are in the picture, you may fully offer and give yourself to them.

Alina Ruigrok is an independent relationship expert for helping those in need of dating, love, relationship, marital, sexual and other personal advice through e-sessions.

About the Author

Alina Ruigrok is an independent relationship expert for helping those in need of dating, love, relationship, marital, sexual and other personal advice through e-sessions.


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