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Being Unhappy with Yourself

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I am always bothered whenever I see someone criticizing another person in a loud, angry, and boisterous manner. It bothers me because, although it may have been meant to be constructive, it is, in reality, destructive for both parties. And I know that the experience does not have to be destructive.

What the criticizing person fails to realize is that he is showing his ignorance. He is demonstrating his unhappiness with himself. He concentrates on what is wrong with everything instead of what is right. He does not see the sky; he sees the rainy clouds. He does not see the true potential of his wife, children, or employees; he only sees their tiny natural mistakes.

This person concentrates on the specks of dust that may be found on a masterpiece and misses the masterpiece, itself. As a result, he goes through life missing the beauty and gusto of life.

That is why real love, real, well-adjusted and true love, is so great. It stops to smell the roses, to see the ducks in the lake, to see the butterflies on the flowers. The total image is so wonderful that the little flaws become insignificant; they are not noticed.

The truly loving man smiles and understands when his wife, children, or employees make a mistake. He realizes that making mistakes is one way of learning from experience.

Warning: Criticize the important people in your life and you expose your ignorance about making and keeping positive and healthy relationships. Establish, instead, positive and healthy relationships by:

* leading the way.

* setting positive examples.

* listening closely to what they say and don't say.

* showing your spouse, children, friends, or employees your love for them.

Actions speak louder than words, they say. And your positive actions will show others that you truly care about them, not their mistakes. When your positive message is frequent and consistent, they will follow your lead.

Train yourself to see them not as people who make mistakes, but as totally whole images who are capable of so much more. Accept the doer, not the deed. After all, everyone makes mistakes and it is in making those mistakes that we tend to grow the most.

Remember: When you maximize your potential, everyone wins. When you don't, we all lose.

About the Author

Etienne A. Gibbs, MSW, Management Consultant and Trainer, conducts seminars, lectures, and writes articles on his theme: "... helping you maximize your potential." Reach him at, at, or at 502-386-1175.


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