Trans4mind Home Page
~ Making the Human Heart Visible ~

Looking for a better life?

Our online, interactive video workshops present the most effective methods of personal development, combined with personal support from expert life coaches.

Explore Article Library

If your child is being bullied '20 top tips for parents

Keith is now in the fourth grade and he dislikes school. For a fourth
grader, this does not sound right. The reason Keith dislikes school though
does not have anything to do with academics. Keith is being bullied before
school, at school, and on the school bus. Who can blame him for not wanting
to go into that environment?

The basic definition of bullying is when someone keeps doing or saying
things to have power over another person. Bullying involves crossing into
one's space without permission.

Isn't bullying just something that happens to all children and we're just
making a fuss over this? The children will get over it, right? Shouldn't we
tell Keith to grow up and handle it? Wrong. Bullying happens to far too many
children and adults shouldn't be ignoring it.


If Keith is being bullied and he is not reporting it to his parents then
there are some very important questions to address.
' Why wouldn't he tell his parents?
' What message have Keith's parents sent to him about bullies?
' Does Keith's parents have a history of dismissing what he says?
' Possibly Keith's parents have had a habit of getting too involved in
solving his problems.

Tips for parents:
' Encourage your child to report any bullying incidents to you.
' Validate your child's feelings. It is normal for your child to feel
hurt, sad, and angry.
' Ask your child how he/she has tried to stop the bullying. Asking
questions is a wonderful way to have your child do the thinking.
' Ask how is he/she going to solve this. We want the child to do the
thinking before we jump in. See how many options he can come up with.
' Coach your child in alternatives. Ideally the best solution is having your
child solve this without anyone interfering. Most of the time unfortunately,
this isn't possible. Share these strategies: avoidance is often an excellent
strategy, playing in a different place, play a different game, stay near a
supervisor, look for new friends, join social activities outside of school.
' Talk with your child's teacher. Make sure they are aware of what is
going on.
' Encourage your child to seek help from other school personnel.
' Volunteer to help supervise activities at school.
' Do not ignore your child's reports. Ignoring them sends the wrong
' Do not confront the bully or the bullies' family.
' Teach your child how to defend him or herself.
' Teach self-respect.
' Give numerous positive comments to your child.
' Avoid labeling or name-calling.
' Let your child know it is okay to express their anger. There are
positive and negative ways to express anger, we want to teach and model the
positive ways.
' Let your children stand up to you now and then. It makes it more
likely they will stand up to a bully.
' Stress the importance of body language.
' Teach your child to use 'I' statements.
' Teach positive self-talk.
' Teach how to use humor, 'out crazy' them. For example, if the bully
says to Keith, "Hey, boy you're ugly." Keith can respond in a couple
different ways:
"Thanks for sharing"
"Yes, I know, I always have been"
"Yes, today's lunch was disgusting" then walk away.

There is many other aspects of bullying to look at: Why your child is the victim, why
people bully, what you child can do if he/she is bullied, signs your child is being
bullied, what the schools should be doing, handling the school bus issues. All
of these are addressed in The Shameful Epidemic, 'How to protect your child from bullies and school violence.
Visit to learn what is possible. There are solutions.

About the Author

Derek and Gail Randel M.D. are parent coaches who have customized programs
for corporations, schools, and parent groups. They can be reached at Parent Smart from the
Heart, 1-866-89-SMART,, or


Careers & Employment
Grief & Loss
Kids & Teens
Public Speaking
Self Help
Self Improvement & Motivation
Sexual Relations
Stress Management
Travel and Leisure

From our extensive site, you'll find good info on many topics using this search:

A great way to support your Trans4mind Training is to use these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

  • The Next Level ~ Designed to radically boost your performance in any field. It's based on a technique used by top athletes and other successful people to help them make a big stride forward.
  • Create Your Own Reality ~ Use the power of your unconscious mind to transform your life.
  • Deeper Self Respect ~ Use hypnosis to connect with your true inner worth.
  • Detach From Fear ~ Tune out nervousness and anxiety with hypnosis.
  • Generalized Anxiety Treatment ~ Use hypnosis as a generalized anxiety disorder treatment and you can feel calm today.
  • Improving Concentration and Focus ~ Learn how to discipline, direct and command your mind to improve your performance.
  • Exercise Motivation ~ Give you powerful keys to getting back on track with your exercise - and staying there.
  • Overcoming Shyness ~ Provides an invisible security blanket allowing you to develop social ease and overcome shyness.
  • Quick Confidence Booster ~ An audio hypnosis session that's specifically designed to get you (quickly!) back on track.
  • Stop Negative Thoughts ~ Learn powerful hypnotic techniques to stop negative thoughts before they start.
  • Overcoming Procrastination ~ Let hypnosis help you get on with what you need to do, when you need to do it. Let nothing hold you back.
  • Think Thin ~ Use hypnosis to re-train your brain and lose weight naturally... that's how to get and stay slim.
  • Fall Asleep Fast ~ Relearn how to fall asleep fast and enjoy a good night's sleep.
Search on an issue that interests or concerns you...

Trans4mind Training is the best thing we've ever done! It's a series of interactive video workshops covering the key challenges we all face in life - to help you achieve greater inner peace and true fulfillment.
Copyright © 1997-2016 Trans4mind Ltd