Trans4mind Home Page
~ Making the Human Heart Visible ~

Looking for a better life?

Our online, interactive video workshops present the most effective methods of personal development, combined with personal support from expert life coaches.

Explore Article Library

Dealing with Emotional Pain

Dealing with Emotional Pain

Robert Elias Najemy

(Hurt 'Bitterness 'Injustice 'Abused? Pain)

We feel emotional pain when we do not get what we want, need, or expect. We might feel hurt, rejection, bitterness, abuse, injustice or simply emotional pain.

In such cases, we have not received the behavior or outcomes we expected or believed we deserved.

We feel this kind of feel pain in cases when * people * do not behave to us in the ways that we had expected as well as in situations where * life * does not give us what we feel we need or deserve.

We believe, "I cannot feel happy unless I get that which I believe I need."

We have associated our security, satisfaction, self-worth or freedom with something that we are not getting from persons, society, God, or life as a whole.

Some examples might be when:
1. Others lie to or deceive us.
2. They do not support us when we need them. 3. They reject or criticize us.
4. We fail at some task, which we feel that we should have succeeded at. 5. We loose a loved one.
6. Our loved one shows preference to another. 7. People important to us do not show us the respect we expect. 8. Others do harm to us or our loved ones.
9. We are accused of doing or saying something we did not do. 10. When are falsely suspected of having ulterior motives. 11. "Friends" gossip about us behind our backs. 12. We are not given the raise of promotion we believe we deserve at work. 13. Others do not keep their agreements with us. 14. We are robbed.
15. We lose our fortune in some way.

You can add many more situations in which we feel hurt because we have not received the respect, love, affection, loyalty, truth, kindness and justice that we were expecting.

*** Positive Alternatives to Feeling Hurt ***

Positive alternatives to feeling hurt, bitterness and injustice could be:

1. * We can have Faith * in divine wisdom and justice.

We are all in a process of evolution and nothing can happen to us, which is not exactly what we need in order to learn our next lesson. So rather than be overwhelmed by negative feelings, we can seek to discover what we can learn through this experience.

Our lessons usually have to do with discovering the strength, security and self-worth, which are within us. As souls in the process of evolution, we are constantly being directed to contact and bring to the surface our spiritual self.

This means realizing that we are whole within and can feel safe, worthy and fulfilled regardless of what is happening around us.

Thus, every event which might cause us to feel pain is also a great opportunity to contact our inner spiritual self and move on and beyond this pain.

2. We are the sole creators of our reality.

We as souls create our reality through:

a. Our past choices, thoughts, words and actions. b. Our present conscious and subconscious beliefs, feelings and needs. c. The lessons we have chosen to learn at this stage of our evolutionary process. d. How we subjectively interpret what is happening.

Thus others are simply actors in the scenarios of our life the script of which we have written. We can create a happier reality by:

a. Transforming our conscious and subconscious beliefs. b. Learning our life lessons.
c. Interpreting events in a different way? as opportunities for growth rather than as injustices.

2. Forgiving and forgetting the past.

In light of what we have said above, others are not responsible for our reality and thus can easily be forgive. Such forgiveness frees us from negative feelings and allows us to transcend pain.

Thus we can overcome emotional pain by:

1. Realizing that every event is exactly what we need for our evolutionary process. 2. Learn the lessons involved.
3. Forgive others and ourselves.

(Adapted from the "The Psychology of Happiness" by Robert Najemy available at and This book and other writings can be viewed at where you can also download FREE articles and e-books.)

Robert Elias Najemy is the author of over 600 articles, 400 lecture cassettes on Human Harmony and 20 books, which have sold over 100,000 copies.
He is the Founder and director of the Center for Harmonious Living in Greece with 3700 members. His book The Psychology of Happiness; ISBN 0-9710116-0-5 is available at and where you can view and download FREE articles and e-books.


Careers & Employment
Grief & Loss
Kids & Teens
Public Speaking
Self Help
Self Improvement & Motivation
Sexual Relations
Stress Management
Travel and Leisure

From our extensive site, you'll find good info on many topics using this search:

A great way to support your Trans4mind Training is to use these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

  • The Next Level ~ Designed to radically boost your performance in any field. It's based on a technique used by top athletes and other successful people to help them make a big stride forward.
  • Create Your Own Reality ~ Use the power of your unconscious mind to transform your life.
  • Deeper Self Respect ~ Use hypnosis to connect with your true inner worth.
  • Detach From Fear ~ Tune out nervousness and anxiety with hypnosis.
  • Generalized Anxiety Treatment ~ Use hypnosis as a generalized anxiety disorder treatment and you can feel calm today.
  • Improving Concentration and Focus ~ Learn how to discipline, direct and command your mind to improve your performance.
  • Exercise Motivation ~ Give you powerful keys to getting back on track with your exercise - and staying there.
  • Overcoming Shyness ~ Provides an invisible security blanket allowing you to develop social ease and overcome shyness.
  • Quick Confidence Booster ~ An audio hypnosis session that's specifically designed to get you (quickly!) back on track.
  • Stop Negative Thoughts ~ Learn powerful hypnotic techniques to stop negative thoughts before they start.
  • Overcoming Procrastination ~ Let hypnosis help you get on with what you need to do, when you need to do it. Let nothing hold you back.
  • Think Thin ~ Use hypnosis to re-train your brain and lose weight naturally... that's how to get and stay slim.
  • Fall Asleep Fast ~ Relearn how to fall asleep fast and enjoy a good night's sleep.
Search on an issue that interests or concerns you...

Trans4mind Training is the best thing we've ever done! It's a series of interactive video workshops covering the key challenges we all face in life - to help you achieve greater inner peace and true fulfillment.
Copyright © 1997-2016 Trans4mind Ltd