Trans4mind Home Page
~ Making the Human Heart Visible ~

Looking for a better life?

Our online, interactive video workshops present the most effective methods of personal development, combined with personal support from expert life coaches.

Explore Article Library

Parents - Experience A Child's Playful Heart

By Linda Milo

Playtime between a parent and a child creates a deep emotional bond. It's the bond that sets the path for joyful, creative, cooperative times by being together. Adults seem to shun fun and games in their daily lives. As adults, we often get so caught up in "grown up business that we can forget how to have pure fun. Some parents just don't know how to play with their children or feel they don't have the time. It's no wonder - most parents work a full-time job and feel drained with little or no energy at the end of the day to feel playful. If only parents knew how much playtime shapes their family life, more parents would welcome it. They would come to know that it recharges their adult batteries!

Most parents played as children. Parents experienced being silly, laughing at nothing, playing games on their own or with their peers. Why is it that parents today have forgotten how to play? Why do parents feel like outsiders or simply ignore this way of communicating with their children? Parents make sure their children are loved, comforted, safe, fed, and sheltered; but when it comes to playing, most parents can't seem to get in the swing of it. Our society in general doesn't take playing very seriously either. Most play professionals such as day-care providers, after school program teachers, recreation department workers and camp counselors are paid very low wages for the really important work they do for our children's lives. These workers are treated more as baby-sitters than experts on children and play.

Playtime is a rewarding time for a fresh, renewed look at life. It's the time when a zestfulness of living takes place. When a parent plays with his child, there is a deep heart-to-heart vibration that can overcome all the day's stresses and frustrations. Participating in your child's playtime arena, whether it's on the floor, eye-to-eye, sitting next to each other or across a table, creates enjoyment and spontaneity, happiness, and an opportunity to interact as no other activity can. Years of research has shown that successful parenting is when there is a sensitive response to their child's needs. This response includes physical contact, smiling faces, eye contact, and communication, both verbal and nonverbal.

Some of my clients have said, "My family members need to feel more connected. We seem to be disconnected and going in different directions." Playing helps build that connection and communication so vital to a loving family environment. Parents can try to remember and reconnect with that part of themselves that knows how to be in the flow of fun. Asking a child to play with you and then allowing your child to lead you to what they want to play and how they want to play, is the first step to creating a deep connection. Hide-and-seek, tag, chasing, wrestling, fantasy play, sports, pillow fights, art projects, racing, etc. are games that all children like. You can start by knowing that anything can be fun, especially doing it together.

Here are five ways to be a more lighthearted parent:

1.Lead the way - ask your children what type of activity they would like to do with you. Talk it over and accept an activity that will bring both of you a feeling of gladness. Think about what caused you to giggle as a child. Children like rules - start the game with, "OK, if we play there will be no giggling or blinking! Then pretend to fuss when your child breaks these rules! Let the games begin!

2.Loosen up - playtime is just that: play and time. Don't worry about messiness, noise, or commotion. Just remember to let the play flow and follow it along. As long as you hear silly giggles, howls of joy, see happy smiles, then you know that this playtime session is a success.

3.Encourage Your Children - Understand that when you play with your child it encourages strong feelings of excitement, exuberance, joy, as well as frustrations, anxiousness, jealousy, and embarrassment. Get a handle on these emotions by knowing that these emotions should be freely expressed rather than having them buried and held inside. So take time out during your playtime to stand back and remind your child that having these feelings is okay, that being angry or being joyful are emotions that are acceptable. This creates a deep connection between you. After all, play is a child's way of expressing themselves and their emotions.

4.Be Playful with Your Children - Use a voice that is relaxed and goofy. Step outside of your everyday stern parent style and start to feel the energy of play. Choose games that allow you to give your children encouragement, inspire their confidence, allows for their need of attachment and closeness. Give your children your complete attention accompanied with love, hugs and affection. Always promote win-win situations in the games you play and have a good time!

5.Be Lighthearted - Being lighthearted while playing with your child actually adds to your life and brings you time. Playtime is rejuvenating. You may have to push yourself at first, but very soon thereafter, you will feel, understand and want to play as the payoff is well worth it.

To help your batteries feel recharged after your exhausting day at work, take the initiative to spend more together time with your children, even if it only means hugging them, talking to them, being with them at the end of the day. Bring up everyone's spirits by telling them how much they mean to you and what you most appreciate about each family member. Create a healthy, energetic connection today that your children will remember for the rest of their lives.

Copyright © 2005 by Linda Milo and Empowering Parents Now. All rights reserved.

About The Author

Linda Milo, The Parent-Child Connection Coach, specializes in helping mothers and fathers turn their parenting challenges into a more livable, more workable, and more enjoyable family life. The tips in this article have been excerpted from her upcoming tips booklet, "58 Solutions For Common Parenting Challenges." To learn more about his informative booklet, and to get your FREE copy of her revealing Special Report, "10 Top Tips On Communicating With Your Child visit


Careers & Employment
Grief & Loss
Kids & Teens
Public Speaking
Self Help
Self Improvement & Motivation
Sexual Relations
Stress Management
Travel and Leisure

From our extensive site, you'll find good info on many topics using this search:

A great way to support your Trans4mind Training is to use these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

  • The Next Level ~ Designed to radically boost your performance in any field. It's based on a technique used by top athletes and other successful people to help them make a big stride forward.
  • Create Your Own Reality ~ Use the power of your unconscious mind to transform your life.
  • Deeper Self Respect ~ Use hypnosis to connect with your true inner worth.
  • Detach From Fear ~ Tune out nervousness and anxiety with hypnosis.
  • Generalized Anxiety Treatment ~ Use hypnosis as a generalized anxiety disorder treatment and you can feel calm today.
  • Improving Concentration and Focus ~ Learn how to discipline, direct and command your mind to improve your performance.
  • Exercise Motivation ~ Give you powerful keys to getting back on track with your exercise - and staying there.
  • Overcoming Shyness ~ Provides an invisible security blanket allowing you to develop social ease and overcome shyness.
  • Quick Confidence Booster ~ An audio hypnosis session that's specifically designed to get you (quickly!) back on track.
  • Stop Negative Thoughts ~ Learn powerful hypnotic techniques to stop negative thoughts before they start.
  • Overcoming Procrastination ~ Let hypnosis help you get on with what you need to do, when you need to do it. Let nothing hold you back.
  • Think Thin ~ Use hypnosis to re-train your brain and lose weight naturally... that's how to get and stay slim.
  • Fall Asleep Fast ~ Relearn how to fall asleep fast and enjoy a good night's sleep.
Search on an issue that interests or concerns you...

Trans4mind Training is the best thing we've ever done! It's a series of interactive video workshops covering the key challenges we all face in life - to help you achieve greater inner peace and true fulfillment.
Copyright © 1997-2016 Trans4mind Ltd