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Baby Names

By Robin Darch

Okay, you only get to do this once so let's get it right. Remember that it's not about you! Your little boy or girl is going to have to live with this name for the rest of their life. If they change it on their 18th birthday, you probably did a bad job of naming your baby.

In this article, I'm going to take you on a tour of the Internet as I look for baby names. I'll be your guide, so sit back and relax. I know what I'm doing here. Trust me.

Before we start, though, no drinking on this tour. It results in baby names like Justin Case, Sandy Castles, Paige Turner, Rusty Hook, Shaunda Lear, Candy Kaine, or others just as bad. As a matter of fact let's start out by searching for what not to name your baby.

So, you want to be original. Great. Remember, your kid's gonna be mad when he or she finds out there were much better choices! Ok, that's not bad enough? Well there are websites that make fun of bad baby name choices too. Some quotes from websites about people's baby name choices.

These are actual questions posted on the Internet about naming babies;

I love this one "I once met a lady named Rodana. I think she runs a successful Internet business." In her spare time she destroys Tokyo.

And this one too. "I've suggested to my sister that she name her little girl to be - Manchester. She's not sure about it but she's considering. What do you think? "Clever. Like being named Pittsburg or Schenectady. Kid'll grow up to be beaten to death by Liverpool fans."

"We'd kind of like something that sounds good with Mikayla (our 3-year-old)." "Dear God, they're tailoring them into box sets!"

"What about the name skylar or raven? "Thanks, 14-year-old-Goth-girl!"

"What about Bubba for a boy. a great unusual name - "Since when did your Ozark shack get Internet access?"

"Do you like the name Alexia? I think it's exotic and all 3 of my other girl's names begin with an A too." "Though Alexia sounds like a pretty name for a girl... alexia is actually an inability to read, caused by brain damage." "So maybe she should another A name. Something pretty, like Amnesia."

"I am not pregnant yet but thinking about names...I just thought of the name Lourdes Solange. This baby will be 75% latina and 15% european :) "...and 10% polyester"

...and finally "Anyone ever thought about Sierra Joy? I love the name, but husband is less than thrilled with it." "But he'll love the pine-fresh scent!"

And for all the geeks, nerds, and Internet junkies out there, yes, the Internet and your computer can conspire to name your baby for you! Try this one for unique baby names. I just love the categories, "baby boy names", "baby girl names", and "baby boy or girl names for those parents who want to name the baby before it's born and before they know what sex the baby will be.

That website makes up names each time you click the links. Okay, this website doesn't exactly prove that technology is an actual improvement to our lives, but wait! There's more! This one claims to have 11,000 names from origins all around the world so you'll surely find exactly what you're looking for.

This one is a little better at names that reflect different cultures. But Teutonic names? Are there still people who claim the nationality "Teuton"?


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