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What Destroys a Marriage?

Many marriages and dating relationships fail years before the loving couples meet. The exposure to a value system that promotes the acquisition of material possessions has a direct affect on our development as children. We learn early in life to take control of our material possessions.

This activity awakens our selfish nature and fortifies it as we mature. We learn to believe that we can do what we want with those possessions, my wife, my husband, my money, my toys, my bike, my car, my woman, my man, and mine, mine, mine! Unconsciously we believe these possessions are our slaves and should be at our beckon call or perform a particular function that we desire. At anytime, when our possessions do not conform to our desires or expectation, we become outraged. The reality is these are not our possessions, especially human beings.

We want our mates to take a subservient position to our desires. This is the beginning of the end of a healthy marriage or dating relationship. The core of the problems in marriages and dating relationships today is that we rely on traditions and false promises by others and institutions that manipulate our hopes and dreams for profits. We have been led to believe that institutions are held to a higher standard and do not fall into the same category as others who are motivated by selfish desires; but they are! There are in excess of 400,000 marriage counselors, workshops, and therapy sessions posted on the Internet.

Marriage counselors are professing to have the solution for a fee. Do you think they care about your marriage or dating relationship? The judicial branch of government is pointing the finger at the legislative branch. The legislative branch is pointing the finger at the judicial branch, and church organizations are partnering with social scientist to qualify for federal funding to rebuild marriages. Where is the solution?

Dating relationships that lead to marriage is the fundamental social institution deeply rooted in all societies. To uphold and defend the institution of marriage, we must place emphasis on the truth. The institution of marriage should not be built on the traditional foundation of the past. The institution of marriage must be built on a strong foundation representing truth, sincerity, sacrifice, and cooperation, mutually putting our desires and opinions to bay.

Individuals who enter a dating relationship or marriage with opposing objectives, which are to fulfill their own desires, will have a failed dating relationship or marriage. Both participants must understand that individual desires and opinions are the furthest from the truth. The truth is what exists at the moment, or an incident that occurred in the past. The truth is not what one may think is going to happen in the future, nor is it what one may believe should have or could have happened. Falsehood, seeking to fulfill individual desires, and imposing one's opinions on another are destructive ingredients for all relationships and marriages.

It is time for us to face the truth and to adopt a different posture when seeking a dating partner or a marriage companion. We must change our perspective and evaluate why living together in harmony is such a momentous task. We then must apply the true meaning of love and togetherness and then we can begin to live happily ever after!

About the author:

Naim is your host at Our Online Dating Articles will reveal the truth, myths, illusions and deceptive activities, as they relate to personal and intimate relationships. Take a very important online survey at

Naim A Samad is also the author of "Don't Leave Home Without It". The newly release book is the author's field leveling, investigative ma


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