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Getting More From Dating, Romantic Relationships, and Marriage

Romantic relationships happen because of the hopes and dreams a couple has for a happy life together. The relationship will continue to be pleasant and rewarding as long as the hopes and dreams are kept alive by staying concerned with what is good about the relationship.

This article suggests ways for staying aware of what makes your romantic relationship worthwhile.

Don't Expect Too Much --

Don't expect a perfect relationship. That happens only in fairy tales. If you expect everything to be wonderful, it makes your relationship less valuable by comparison. Problems will occur. You will get hurt. Being too concerned with the problems will stop you from paying attention to what is good in the relationship.

Romance and love will more likely happen if you allow them to happen instead of making them a goal. If love is the goal, you will compare how the relationship is now to what you think it should be. You will be continually disappointed. Making the relationship better should be the goal. Pay attention to treating each other fairly and helping each other. If love happens, it will be based on believing that both of you can continue to build a good relationship.

Your attitude should signal the other person that you will try to patiently work through each other's shortcomings. It won't be easy. Being tolerant and non-condemning is a challenge. But consciously making an effort to be tolerant goes a long way.

Build Upon What Is Good --

Find activities that you both like and do them together. These can be activities such as gardening, cooking, hobbies, conversation, recreation, an interest in art, charity volunteering, and family activities. Having interests that are shared, keeps a couple involved in each other's lives.

Share ideas to find ways to more enjoy living. Tell your sweetheart about strategies you use for such things as achieving goals and enjoying yourself. Tell each other about what you think is interesting, what is worthwhile, and what is encouraging. If you share positive ideas, you will think of each other as pleasant and enjoyable.

Encourage your partner to act and make decisions. Both of you will be able to accomplish more with the other's support and encouragement. When there is a disagreement, be patient. If you need to criticize, offer a positive alternative rather than a condemnation. Your encouragement likely will produce more good results than will your objections.

The good things in life are much more important than the disappointments. Reward yourself for the good in what you are doing and take some time to do what you enjoy.

Alan Detwiler is the author of the ebook Date Ideas: Fun Things To Do For Couples available at


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