Explore... the article library | Love

Which Came First, Love or Marriage? By Keishia Lee-Louis I came across an article today: LOVE AND MARRIAGE THE TORAH'S CRITERIA by Rivka Olenick. It helped me think about my own marriage, and the way that many couples approach the idea of being together before they get married vs. what they think after the wedding. People often believe they know what love is after seeing a limited view of their spouse-to-be. When they're asked, “why do you guys want to get married?” They say, "I just love the way he [fill in the blank]." or "She and I have so much in common". But when a real test comes, like always having to pick her socks or dealing with his less than average meals (sic), both parties become greatly disenchanted. After they have the opportunity to discover more about the other person, the "love" fades and resentment moves in. So what does it take to make it work? Of the happy couples I’ve talked with, most attribute their happiness to the real love that grows after marriage. Often times it’s not a pretty love. Partners may have to get dirty, like gardeners who expect good things to grow after they've done the work and have overcome their selfishness. This kind of love grows when they lose a loved one but can find comfort from God and each other during their grief. It’s the kind of love that develops when they are in danger of losing their house or job, but can see beyond their circumstances. Or it’s the kind that matures when they’re able to overcome adultery and find forgiveness not only heals, but seals their bond to one another. This love is not an overnight love. It doesn’t come quick, and it is a challenge for our microwave society. But these couples keep pressing on, believing that happiness can be achieved. Fortunately, for most persevering couples, it is. For all those people out there who are engaged or thinking about marriage, my suggestion to you? Find one of these couples who can be trusted. Model them and let them mentor you. If you don’t know someone personally, email couples@marriagementors.org to find out how to get help with your relationship. Finally, I'd like to leave you with this thought from the article I read: "...marriages are contracted not as a result of passion and romance, but as a result of good judgment and sound reason. If the couple is well suited, the marriage will result in love and happiness. Marriages based on pre-marital infatuation, however, all too often fail the test of married life." Keep your faith during the hard times. Keep your head when you want to lose it. And your heart will believe in a love greater than you can imagine. About the Author Keishia Lee-Louis is the Editor/Publisher of http://www.Married4Good.com (November 2005). Her work has appeared on iVillage.com, BibleResourceCenter.com, and in many other publications. Currently, she's writing a book on marriage, which will be published in 2006. If you'd like to see more of her work, visit http://married4good.blogspot.com Print-friendly version

Hypnosis Downloads for Relationship Issues...

Fear of Commitment
Making a decision that will have an impact on the future - whether short-term or long-term - sometimes feels hard to do. But it is only by commiting to a course of action that life progresses and we are able to make the most of opportunities that come our way. The Fear of Commitment download will help you make decisions - including those concerning your relationships - more easily, without the anxiety that used to stop you commiting fully. Click here for more information...

Put the Spark Back Into Relationship
After a while the excitement and freshness can leave a relationship. Familiarity and the pressures of life can get in the way of the love you used to feel for one another. The 'Putting the Spark Back' download will help remind your unconscious mind of the excitement you used to feel. When you, or you and your partner use the session, those original feelings can come back powerfully, returning the fun and excitement and reminding you of why the two of you felt so attracted to one another in the first place. Click here for more information...

Get Over a Relationship
It can be difficult to stop thinking about your ex-partner, and the feelings of sadness and loss can be hard to deal with. This is of course natural for a time, but if you feel it has gone on for long enough, Getting Over a Relationship can help you calm those feelings down. The session will help you 'update' your unconscious mind so that you feel more like moving on. Click here for more information...

Overcoming Jealousy
Whether you are the jealous partner, or are on the receiving end, jealousy can devastate a relationship. 'Dealing with Jealousy' will help you get control back over the workings of your imagination so it stops feeding you images of the worst happening. Your partner will be astounded, (and probably overjoyed!) at the new relaxed, realistic you. Click here for more information...

Be More Independent
In any loving relationship, it is easy to become overly dependent on our partner; to the extent that their needs always override our own. In the short term, this can feel loving and often occurs in the early stages of a relationship; but if you become too 'absorbed' in your partner, the relationship and your own life inevitably suffer. Developing independence will help you strike that fine balance that allows true independence to improve relationships and strengthen the bonds between you. Click here for more information...

Banish Relationship Insecurity
Insecurity in relationships happens to everyone at some time, but when it is a constant visitor, life can become pretty difficult. Nagging thoughts about the other person, jealousy perhaps, pessimism about your long-term prospects with your partner - all these are common side effects. Download Banish Relationship Insecurity now and experience freedom from those old negative thoughts. Click here for more information...

Approaching Women
Many times you talk to other people without even thinking about it. If you are chatting to a member of your family, or a good friend, you are not worrying about 'sounding cool', or 'being funny'; you are simply talking! Using hypnosis, you can take this ability and transfer it to the 'chatting up women' situation. It's not like you need to learn something completely new; you just need access to your ability in that situation. That's why Approach Women with Confidence will quickly help you talk to women and feel confident. Click here for more information...

Meeting New People
When meeting new people you want to be yourself, but nerves get in the way. 'Being yourself' is a nice idea, but when you get anxious, it makes it extremely difficult. You become more self conscious and thinking about the other person becomes harder. Hypnosis can keep you calm and outwardly focused when meeting new people, which gives you the freedom to act normally and truly be yourself. Click here for more information...