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What's up with Unconditional Love? By Sam Stevens To tell you the truth, I'm a little disillusioned with the term unconditional love, lately. It's just not "natural". The phrase has been used for decades, by psychologists, therapists, A.A. types and the overall spiritually minded to describe how one should cope with impossible behavior." The original principle behind the concept, was to help the person who is being abused accept the circumstances and not have to live in a perpetual state of resentment towards their partner. You, as the codependent (ie the one who is always hurt) is supposed to see your partner as "sick" and not blame him or her for their actions. You're supposed to love and care for the adulterer, batterer, gambler, manic depressive or alcoholic the same way you would someone who has the flu. Husband comes home drunk? Sober him up with cups of black coffee and a dose of your eternally burning, unconditional love. Boyfriend unfaithful? That's O.k., because you have unconditional love for him that will last for an eternity. Girlfriends rack up your credit cards again with her compulsive shopping? You'll take care of the bills because you're love for her is undying and unconditional and you've told yourself ""I'll always love her no matter what ...." Those of us who have been there know that we can only comfort ourselves with the concept of unconditional love for so long until the relationship becomes too expensive, emotionally, socially and financially. This is often more serious then the kind of consequences we pay when someone is sick with "the flu." Plus lately, after talking to many clients, many of whom are still paying in one way or another for the irresponsible behavior of a full grown adult, I am starting to conclude that when the person with the "ism" or "recently diagnosed personality disorder" is on to us then out comes the term unconditional love. If we say no or object to the behavior, he or she can always turn around and go "but I thought you said your love was me was unconditional!!!" This puts us on the defense because it implies that we are the ones who are unloving and unlovable. I think the appropriate response is "well then why don't you go out and find someone who will agree to co-sign your B.S.!!'" If they're A.A. trained they'll probably snap back with "that's what you get for having expectations or preferences of me...you know I'm sick!" I think love is conditional. One of those conditions is "trust." If you have unconditional love for someone, it is implicit you don't trust them, especially if you've condemned yourself to a lifetime of loving him or her "no matter what." Love is a natural thing, like a flower, that one should expect to bloom and its o.k. to be disappointed if it doesn't. The nature of love is to grow, compound and multiply and not destroy. The next time you fall in love, put terms and conditions on it and demand a 200% return on your investment. It's your precious energy! About the Author Sam Steven's metaphysical articles have been published in many high-standing newspapers and she has published several books. You can meet Sam Stevens at http://www.psychicrealm.com where she works as a professional psychic. You can also read more of her articles at http://www.newagenotebook.com where she is the staff writer. Currently she is studying technology's impact on the metaphysics. Print-friendly version

Hypnosis Downloads for Relationship Issues...

Fear of Commitment
Making a decision that will have an impact on the future - whether short-term or long-term - sometimes feels hard to do. But it is only by commiting to a course of action that life progresses and we are able to make the most of opportunities that come our way. The Fear of Commitment download will help you make decisions - including those concerning your relationships - more easily, without the anxiety that used to stop you commiting fully. Click here for more information...

Put the Spark Back Into Relationship
After a while the excitement and freshness can leave a relationship. Familiarity and the pressures of life can get in the way of the love you used to feel for one another. The 'Putting the Spark Back' download will help remind your unconscious mind of the excitement you used to feel. When you, or you and your partner use the session, those original feelings can come back powerfully, returning the fun and excitement and reminding you of why the two of you felt so attracted to one another in the first place. Click here for more information...

Get Over a Relationship
It can be difficult to stop thinking about your ex-partner, and the feelings of sadness and loss can be hard to deal with. This is of course natural for a time, but if you feel it has gone on for long enough, Getting Over a Relationship can help you calm those feelings down. The session will help you 'update' your unconscious mind so that you feel more like moving on. Click here for more information...

Overcoming Jealousy
Whether you are the jealous partner, or are on the receiving end, jealousy can devastate a relationship. 'Dealing with Jealousy' will help you get control back over the workings of your imagination so it stops feeding you images of the worst happening. Your partner will be astounded, (and probably overjoyed!) at the new relaxed, realistic you. Click here for more information...

Be More Independent
In any loving relationship, it is easy to become overly dependent on our partner; to the extent that their needs always override our own. In the short term, this can feel loving and often occurs in the early stages of a relationship; but if you become too 'absorbed' in your partner, the relationship and your own life inevitably suffer. Developing independence will help you strike that fine balance that allows true independence to improve relationships and strengthen the bonds between you. Click here for more information...

Banish Relationship Insecurity
Insecurity in relationships happens to everyone at some time, but when it is a constant visitor, life can become pretty difficult. Nagging thoughts about the other person, jealousy perhaps, pessimism about your long-term prospects with your partner - all these are common side effects. Download Banish Relationship Insecurity now and experience freedom from those old negative thoughts. Click here for more information...

Approaching Women
Many times you talk to other people without even thinking about it. If you are chatting to a member of your family, or a good friend, you are not worrying about 'sounding cool', or 'being funny'; you are simply talking! Using hypnosis, you can take this ability and transfer it to the 'chatting up women' situation. It's not like you need to learn something completely new; you just need access to your ability in that situation. That's why Approach Women with Confidence will quickly help you talk to women and feel confident. Click here for more information...

Meeting New People
When meeting new people you want to be yourself, but nerves get in the way. 'Being yourself' is a nice idea, but when you get anxious, it makes it extremely difficult. You become more self conscious and thinking about the other person becomes harder. Hypnosis can keep you calm and outwardly focused when meeting new people, which gives you the freedom to act normally and truly be yourself. Click here for more information...